Friday, June 03, 2005

Contracts And Agreements

Today, I was in a two hours meeting, going through clauses after clauses within an agreement. That being said, I have absolutely no hard feelings for my clients or any other contract obeying people, but well, since contracts and agreements are legal matters that can bring to court cases, we'll see how 'dangerous' sentences within agreements are.

This brings me to that joke when someone say "I can write with my left ear." When someone challenges him/her to do so, he/she will just take a pen and writes "with my left ear". Understanding a contract requires VERY meticulous eye and mind.

Let's touch on various common clauses that can be found in contracts. I will use the most common contract which is "rental of house". This contract I found online, therefore, no party is humiliated. Mmm.. I'm not planning to humiliate anyone actually, just to show the dangers of clauses.

"Smoking on the premises will cause loss of deposit as will the presence of pets".
If the landlord comes over for a visit, bringing his pet parrot who suddenly flies into the house, the tenant will lose their deposit. Why? It didn't specift whose pets. Also, tenants who smokes on the rooftop will lose deposit against smoking 'within' the premises.

"Immediate notice must be made to the Landlord�s agent if the following conditions occur: fire or theft, dangerous, defective, unsafe or emergency condition in or on the leased premises, or any needed repair or maintenance."
This letter was found intact near a stabbed dead body. "Dear landlord, my house was broken into yesterday but I was able to scare him off. As I'm unable to contact you via phone until today, I've decided to write you a letter of notice instead. I understand that I cannot repair my broken door and windows until you are notified. I feel the need to expedite my notification by letter because as of right now, the same robber is knocking on my bedroom door threatening to kill me."

"The accommodation can welcome a maximum of four persons."
Should your wife give birth to triplets, you have to rent another house, or the husband needs to move out.

"The rental agreement covers temporary residence only."
If the rental agreement does not have enough pages to fully cover the residence, you may enlarge it to A3 sizes and proceed to cover the residence with that. Failing to do that, the rental agreement need to be written on several parachutes.

In conclusion, an agreement should only be legalised between all parties who speak the same language and lingo. An IT firm and a school teacher will read this differently. "Should you misplace your notebook, the company will have the right to charge you RM5.90 for replacement of your notebook. Important information contained within is at your loss."

Damn syiok, if I work in an IT company, and misplace my notebook computer in my grandma's house, I can get a replacement for only RM5.90.

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