Being Racist Today

I'm gonna be a racist today. Gonna do a 100 meter dash, and then gonna do a 200 meter... no! Talking about race, which I usually do not do, but well, just in the mood, so here, hey you malays, you chinese, you indians, you mat sallehs, you orang asli, you everyone else, you all suck!!!.... when drinking through a straw.

It is extremely interesting to notice that MOST magazine outlets are owned by Indians. Also interesting to see that MOST traffic policemen are Malays. Also MOST non-brand clothing outlets are taken care of Chinese. But my story isn't about that. It's about communication. I'm not talking about business communications here, more like meeting outside informally with strangers.

Ever notice this common phenomena???

Malay speaks to Malay = Malay
Chinese speaks to Chinese = Chinese & other dialects
Indians speaks to Indians = Tamil, Urdu & others
Mat Sallehs speaks to Mat Sallehs = English & other european languages

Simple leh... but, when...

Malay speaks to Chinese = Malay with chinese slang (The MALAY, not the chinese!)
Malay speaks to Indian = Malay with indian slang (The MALAY again, not the indian!)
Chinese speaks to Indian = Malay with chinese slang (The INDIAN, not the chinese!)
C I M speaks to Mat Salleh = English-lah

It's interesting enough to know that all the three major races in Malaysia generally speaks in Malay to each other. But why is it that however the malay tries to speak the common malay slang to a chinese, it just doesn't happen?? Surely there's a 'ma', 'lor' and those common expressions as well as chinese intonation comes out in malay. Why not the chinese use a malay slang like 'mat', 'apehal?', 'jom tenet jom'. :P

In restaurants, the waiters have their own caste. The indians are always the boss. "Boss, teh ais satu!" or "Boss, kira!".

The malays are either younger, same age, older or have one single name. "Adik, panggil bill." Speaking of this, why call Bill? He's not even a staff there. Just bring it. "Abang/Kakak, kopi satu lagi." "Brader, air kosong kurang manis." "Mat, nescafe kureeennggg..."

The chinese are always good looking. "Leng chai, " or just plain "pfut, pfut... , ". In non-chinese restaurant, we need to telephone the chinese waiter. "Hello, neslo satu." or "Hello, bagi nes-coke-tembikai cam"

Ta-pau (to be packed) is a universal word being used by all races now. Same as Teh peng (ice tea). Somehow it doesn't sound the same if I wanna order my meals like this: Nasi putih satu, tomyam and telur ta-pau (telur bungkus). Waiter's thought: "Why the @%# he wanna ta-pau egg for? Can easily cook at home what."

One malay sentence that seems to be used by all races, especially drivers shouting at other drivers are "Oi, buta ke?!"

I love being Malaysian.

Technical Impostor!!!

A gwai-loh a.k.a. mat salleh a.k.a. orang putih has just joined my company to take care of our computer systems. The previous dude was sacked due to reasons unknown to me. Now, I have nothing against this particular mat salleh, if he can really do his work. The problem is, the server has been down since last week, and he's still being treated like a VIP by our big bosses.

I very well don't understand how he can end up getting a job in this company, and taking care of a computer system at that. I know he's not qualified. Hey, I'm in IT line for 3 years and have degrees to prove that I know what he does not. For the past two days, these is what I notice from him to have me brand him as a Technical Impostor!

1. He calls a computer a machine. I have never heard, in my entire life studying IT and working in an IT line, or even going to Low Yat Plaza,... having hear people calling a computer a machine. This is what he said when the next PCs arrived at our office. "Ahh.. good, the machines are here." Machines?!? We're not Mech-Warriors who just received a state-of-the-art mecha for our country's defense system. We're not pilots of huge machines to ward off intruders. We're not even factory heads who just received a new distribution line machinery. Seriously, in the context of an IT person, the definition of a machine is something else.

2. He places the front of the casing on the ground!! Yess.... the front of the "machine" haha.. is placed on the ground. That means the rounded part of the casing, where the CD-ROM opens, and the diskette drive is located on the ground to open the back of the "machine". Hello?!? No technician will ever place it that way. It can cause damage to the CD-ROM's front cover, and even presses against the EJECT button of the diskette drive. When you wanna open the casing, place it on the table and have it still standing on its rightful side.

3. Upon placing the "machine" on the ground, the aluminium casing at the back shakes and makes that 'metal plastic' sound and he said "That doesn't sound good". Ohhh... very expert lah. The most common of all noises (that sounds like something is loose) is the aluminium covering of the casing. That cover protects the motherboard's ports mahhh... of course got sound. And summore, placing the machine the front and on the ground, of course the vibration will make that sound. Common sound, dude. It's not a "That doesn't sound good".

4. Failure in opening the casing. Almost all PC casing nowadays will require you to (1)unscrew at least two screws at the back, and then having to (2)slide the cover towards the back, and only then you can (3)pull away the cover from the casing. Where did he make a mistake then? Firstly, he unscrew only one screw at the bottom of the casing. Aish... I hate remembering how it looks like. Poor "machine" on its front, being pressured further with his unscrewing of the screws. Nevermind that, and then he proceeds to "pull the cover away" without sliding it first.

In conclusion, I really don't see how he's gonna restore the server anytime soon. As of typing time, he's gonna install network cards, and I don't wish to watch that. Why oh why did he end up with this job?! Only god knows.

p/s: This post is not to insult any other technical person who are new or currently learning the basics of computer hardware. I have to diss this particular guy off because he's the ONLY IT guy in the company. Therefore, he's holding the position of IT manager. For an IT manager to have the skills, or lack thereof that he's having, I'm gonna have nightmares working with the computer systems here. Gonna back up everything to thumbdrive.

Till Someone Finds Me, I Will Be Here

Day 1, 10:27pm
I just knew I'm dead. It took me a while to realise why I can see myself lying bloodied in the drain at the side of the road. I don't know how to feel yet. Worried, scared, shocked, sad? I know my parents will start panicking given an hour or two, when they reach the hotel in Kota Bahru and find me not there yet. I was to meet up with the hotel for their 25th wedding anniversary dinner tomorrow. My three other siblings will only arrive tomorrow morning.

I can remember just driving past Jeli, wondering why the road here seems quite deserted. In the past hour, I can count the cars that passed here in my head. I remember stopping by to the side of the road, to give some guys a help pushing their car. Now I'm here, dead with my car nowhere in sight. I feel light, floating in fact.

Hey, that looks like mum's car! It is! Ma!! Pa!! I'm here! Stop the car!!! I'm here! I'm down here! Please please stop the car! Please! Oh my god, they're driving on. They didn't see me. Wait! Come back please! Please come back. Your son is here. Please help me please. The car is out of sight now, I know where they're heading. Maybe I can follow, but how? Though I can float, I feel very much like staying here, watching after my body.

Is it me or the streetlights are starting to dim around here? I can't move. I'm back in my body. I still can't move. Am I still alive? But I can't hear myself breathing. Will I be alright?

Darkness....

Day 2
I just got flung out of my body again. I think it's morning. I can see an old man on bicycle coming this way. Perhaps going to work. Pakcik! Tolong saya, pakcik! Pakcik, saya di bawah ni pakcik! Hey, he looked at me! Yes, he did!! Pakcik nampak saya ke? He looks confused. He's frowning. Why is he frowning? Now he's looking back up the road. Pakcik, why are you going away? Can you not see me?? Tolong saya pakcik!!

.....

A wolf! Oh, no! God, why is this happening?? Go away! That's my body! I know you can see me. Yes, you're looking straight at me. I know you can see me! No! Stop chewing my shoulder! Get out of here!! As long as you're snarling at me now, I know you can see me. How do I scare you? Dogs sometime whine and runs away in the middle of the nights. Do they really see spirits like me? I'll just come and touch you. Good. You're backing away now. Go back to the forest and leave my body alone!! The wolf has sped off now. My body is safe.

.....

School children! They're walking this way! Three of them. Probably siblings. Singing. I can catch the lyrics, "Kalau wak ingatkan nenek. Haruslah engkau lawati mereka". Seems foreign to me. They are near me now. Adik-adik, tolong abang, dik! Again, they don't see me. Wait, the youngest is looking at me. Abang sini, dik! Bawah ni! Panggil orang tolong abang, dik! What?! He's crying, and pointing at me. He can really see me! Adik, dengar suara abang tak? Maybe I can pull him to the side of the road so he can see me. His brother and sister is also looking at my direction, but not on me. No, don't pull him away! He sees me! He sees me!! No, why are you not letting him help me?? I have no choice. I need to pull him. No contact! There's no contact with me grabbing his arm. Now he's crying louder, and running away! I've scared him. This should not have happened. They're gone now, brother and sister running off after him.

.....

I can hear crickets. I can hear the dusk Azan now. I believe it's Maghrib. I've tried stopping several people today. Apart from the pakcik and the young boy, I've not been getting much attention from anyone else. My body has started to rot. It's turned white and getting bloated. I don't think I'll ever return to a living body again. But I cannot end this way. What if no one finds me?? Will I end up walking this road day in and day out?

Day 3
I can see the same pakcik riding up to me again. He's riding slow now, confused look on his face. He's looking right and left. Pakcik, can you see me now? He's stopped his bicycle just meters from me. Now he's walking slowly, towards me, crouching at times looking around. He's cupping his hands over his nose. He's smelling me! My decomposing body is getting his attention! Pakcik, just a bit more to your front and look to your left, you'll see me in the drain.

He's really coming here. Yes, pakcik, just look down now. He sees me!! A shocked and horrified look on his face! He just muttered something in arabic. He has left now, riding fast on his bicycle. I do believe I'm going to be found! I hope they will wash me properly before my parents see me. I don't want them to see me like this.

.....

I can see two police cars heading this way! Ambulance following them from the back. They've stopped now. Why two police cars?? No! My parents!! My sisters and brother!! They're coming out of the car, running at my direction now. Ma, Pa, no... don't come close. Don't see me like this!!

Ma and Pa has just jumped into the drain. Ma, I'm here. Please don't cry. She's shouting now. Pa, please help Ma!! Ma has high blood pressure, Pa... please take her away from my body. Ma's holding tight to my body, hugging me, holding me in her lap and arms just like a little child. Ma's kissing my swollen forehead, caressing my face, sweeping my hair away from my face. Ma, I'm gone now, Ma. I'm very sorry I couldn't be there on your anniversary. I love you, Ma. I love you, Pa. Please don't forget me when I go.

Pa is consoling Ma, holding her shoulders but she refuses to let go of me. She's still kissing me, shaking me, shouting at me to wake up. I can't wake up anymore, Ma! I wish I can. Don't cry anymore. I'm found. I will go to a better place, Ma. I will wait for you there. I will wait for all of you there. My sisters are crying too, but my brother is trying his best to not cry. Di, take care of the family okay? I'm sorry I failed as your elder brother.

Pa has started to cry now. Pa has sat down beside Ma. He's holding my hand, caressing it slowly. He places it at his cheek. I can see his tears rolling down, wetting my palm. Pa's hugging Ma. They're both crying, still hugging and holding and shaking me awake. No! Ma's fainted! My siblings are running after them. I'm being pulled away from the scene!! Why am I being pulled away?! I'm slowly floating into the crowd of on-lookers.

It's the little boy I saw yesterday. He's smiling at me. He's motioning me to come to him! Adik boleh nampak abang?? He's pointing to my family at the distance. I looked back. I can see Ma's regain consciousness. He's gesturing with his hand. What?! A telephone? He's smiling again at me. I feel myself floating away, I'm losing consciousness myself. How does a spirit lose consciousness?? I'm floating up now. I can see the little boy running to my family. I'm moving faster, into the sky. The last thing I see and hear before darkness falls...

"Uncle, Aunty, nanti abang tu telefon. Adik dah suruh dia telefon..."

A Poem I Once Created

I remembered my first attempt is creating a poem that rhymes ultimately, and while I have written it on a paper kept somewhere in my house, I still have it in memory due to its ridiculous nature. However, it's part of my past, and I do wish to bring it with me to my future, no matter how ridiculous it sounds. One grammatical error in it on the 9th line (past tense vs present tense) but hey, this is an original from a 14 years old mind.

One Night A Knight Went To See The Sea
One night,
A knight,
Went to see,
The sea,
He went on a ship,
And saw a sheep,
Whose name is Bill,
Holding an electricity bill,
And then he goes,
To a ghost,
With a long fingernail,
Hammering a nail,
The ghost saw him,
And sang a hymm,
He turned to a flea,
And started to flee,
Hit a window pane,
And he felt pain,
His body, blood-red dyed,
And then he died.

Emotions, Part 2 - Anger Leads To Revenge, Revenge Leads To Motivation

In my humble opinion, the strongest motivation is comes from anger, and then love. My previous post on emotions I have stated that Anger allows someone to totally focus their thoughts in one thing and one thing only. Of course, anger without control will make you not think properly, however, anger leading to revenge fuels motivation. While it's quite common for people to spend a lot of time plotting revenge due to anger, this can be turned positively. So, well, revenge is not that bad now, isn't it?

But how? Bringing an real life example here, while it's VERY minor and not at all life-changing, at least the example will show how such revenge can create motivation. Personal life, during studies, I have never been motivated in History and Additional Maths. For History, I personally do not favour it, while for Additional Maths, I only truly learn that which I think I will use in life, therefore things like Trigonometry is something I'd never paid any attention.

In both subjects, my teachers were very aware of my "inability to master" the subject, and have been subjected to snide remarks or criticism. Once my Add. Maths teacher asked me to answer a question, when I couldn't, she said "Well of course, why did I ask you? You are never good at Add Maths." Anger. Of course, angry! So what now? Smash the teacher's car windscreen? Empty out the teacher's car tyres? The answer is revenge! But what type of revenge is considered non-crime and non-hurt? Letting the teacher eat her own words. So there.... I plotted my revenge.

But it was not a revenge at all. Since both teachers had look at me as a failure in their subjects, the least I can do is show them that they're wrong. The revenge motivates learning. True enough, the next exam for the subjects I took, I scored 100% for History and have 96% for Add Maths. The feeling of "See what I can do?! Now I showed you!" Teachers shocked, anger ceased. Teachers asked why not I maintain my grades, I told them I learn what I like. However.... because I really DO NOT LIKE learning them, following exams brought me down to my usual 40% - 60%. It's just to show that while you're angry, you're motivated.

This brings to various other examples in comics, or even in real life. Okay, let's not cover real life. There's way too many stories from Mohamad Ali, to Warren Buffett. Like it or not, if you read about them, there's always an element of anger from stress/frustration that motivated them. One story in Archie comics that we all can relate to tells a story of when Betty was competing for a swim meet. While it was difficult for her to be champion (due to not having a determined bone in her body), she focuses and channel her strength well when she gets angry. For that to occur, Archie and his friend pushed her coach into the pool in a joking gesture that got her fuming, angry that she focused her anger and energy, to end up winning the competition.

Don't underestimate comics or any other leisure entertainment we see. They are real life stories within it. If just say, one is driving to a race meet, and encounters some anger on the road (due to other drivers' actions drives one crazy), one can channel one's anger into the race, and "change" the anger into fuel for energy. Career? Same. Realistically, you are actually more attentive and focused when you are angry, therefore, channel it to work.

Two of the bravest people in the world are a person in extreme anger, and a suicidal person. If you end up angry, find a way to channel it to revenge, and then to motivation. The revenge is not ON the person, but you revenge against your own weakness when you are not angry. Anger is energy.... same as any other energy ie. nuclear, sound, motion. If we learn in physics that energy transforms from one form to another, so can emotions.

Writer's Blog To Writer's Block

While it is not my intention to have a writer's block knowing that I do have things to write about, I just can't help falling into that problem when I got sick. Being sick is the last thing anyone wants to be, feeling miserable and feeling blur the entire day.

There are many bloggers who started off writing about normal things, opinions or even reviews, which in the end, ends up as an online diary of what they're facing, or who meet who, what they did during the day and all those bla bla. Whether it's a common direction for most bloggers, or just that they're ran out of opinions and since they're pressured to fill up the everyday-must-write quota, they started writing about themselves.

What can we actually write about when there's nothing interesting around us is happening. For one thing, I'd totally do not want to write about common happenings and news as they would have already be in the papers. If all the newspapers are already covering Tsunami, or the latest F1 fiasco, why do the other bloggers dedicate one whole post to such events as well? Ok, I understand for the Tsunami, we do want to give our word of advice and hope, but I sincerely think that one paragraph at the end or beginning of the post is sufficient to potray our compassion to those facing their hardest times in life.

So, what can we write about if we run out of things to write? For me, I think these would be it: -

1. Write a story about something you own that's very personal to you. While the story might only interest you, people would like to know WHY it's personal to you? Like me and my very personal item that is my very first toothpaste bought in 1982 that I still keep with me tied to my belt. I bought it with my own money that I earned from selling aluminium cans. Okay lah... tipu punya story. Just to give an idea.

2. Momentious occasion in life. For me, this would be when I was a baby, having just enough strength to press toothpaste out of the tube! Wahh..... such strength! Such glory, such power! I was invincible, come all to stop me, I will be able to press all of ye's toothpaste out of ye's tubes. Again, this is tipu story.

3. One unforgettable person you met in life. Poor soul, he was but the most charming dude. He brought teeth hygiene to people, but they just had to kill him. Why ah?!? Was it racism that you all killed him??? I personally think that this company supports Michael Jackson to the max, coz' just as Michael Jackson started changing skin tone from black (not really black lah) to white (also not really white), Darkie changed to Darlie. Aish... what's wrong with Darkie? Why he go and transform to Darlie and sounds so girlish at the same time?? This story however, is not tipu.

4. Greatest product ever invented. Most people say telephone, invented by Sir Graham Bell. For me, it's.... yeah yeah, I know you all had toothpaste on your mind right? Nope, it's not toothpaste this time. Hehe... no, it's not even toothbrush. It's dental floss! That cool product that makes any corn-phobia, or beef-phobia or other stuck-between-teeth phobia dare to counter their phobia all due to the dental floss. Dental floss raised any country's economy due to the wider consumption of meat and corn.

5. Bad habits that you want to rid of. I do have several bad habits such as , and . I started since young, and while is , I do have to . No lahh... talking nonsense here. The bad habit that I do have, but DO NOT WANT to get rid of is talking about toothpaste on my blogs. While my real self is far away from brushing teeth after every meal, I think I'll just allow my blog alter-ego be a toothpaste freak. Who knows, my blog might even be on advertisement one day!

See, these are but five of many things to write about when you face writer's block. Before I sign off, remember, while brushing teeth, don't forget to brush your tongue and insides of your cheeks too. Signing off, Javalier.

Put Taste To Toothpaste <-- eh, don't steal this tagline.

Brands

Side note: As much as I want to correct my mistyped sentences in the previous post, I think it's best to leave it that way as I figured that anyone can decipher it easily just by moving the keys on the keyboard (of the right hand side) one step to the left. That said, I'll begin today's post.

There are way too many brands in this world today. Of course, brands identify strength of a company. However, it's funny to see rappers in music video having clothes with the brand name blurred. Duh... why censor the brand while his cap still shows other brands? I'm specifically talking about Nelly's latest song, forgot the name where he had Snoop Dogg and Murphy Lee as cameo.

Talking about brands. The first brand that I knew, which I believe monopolizes its industry was Armitage Shanks Vitrous China. Simply put, as a child, that's the only brand I can see the moment I do my business in the toilet. Nowadays, the brands that are the strongest seem to take over the product name itself. In Malaysia, there are a few. Let's discover them.

Toothpaste, a.k.a. Colgate: I'm not sure about other families, or even what other races call it, but, it seems that growing up, if anyone were to look for a toothpaste, they would ask "Eh, colgate kat mana?" (Where's the Colgate?). Then you're given either the Colgate, or any other brand without them really looking for a colgate for you. That's just it. Colgate means toothpaste, in my family and even at my kampung.

Cinema, a.k.a. TGV: Face it, TGV was the first multi-cinema in Malaysia. Ok, no... first was cineplex, but it didn't make it big. So, TGV 1 Utama started the ball rolling for many-screens at one area. Then GSC followed and now we have SMILE and some others. I remembered watching Ah-Ha on tv, one dude gets a call while he's in the cinema, he said "Eh, can't talk. I'm in TGV, TGV." Nearly everyone in Malaysia at one time, will have TGV on their mind no matter which cinema they're in, as long as they're asked "Where are you?". Personally for me, GSC made its way into my mind when they started the "letting go of booked tickets 15 mins prior"... it was a strength that identified them.

Coke, a.k.a. Pepsi and vice versa: VERY common trend. This only applies to those who likes either Coke or Pepsi or both. They identify all dark drinks as Coke/Pepsi. Go to Mcdonalds, "what drink sir?". "Pepsi". Go to Pizza Hut, "what drink sir?". "Coke" Let me tell you this. Wherever I go, especially to fast food outlets, I say "Coke" even when they don't serve it. To those that only serves Pepsi, it is automatically in their head "black soda drink", and I get Pepsi. I've never faced "Sorry sir, there's no Coke in our establishment, only Pepsi". How many of us REALLY know KFC serves what? Shakey's serves what? Dominoes serves what? Nando's serves what? Coke or Pepsi?? Let me tell you one thing, KFC and its family, Pizza Hut and Ayamas serves Pepsi. That raised a question in me. While Coke's colour is red, Pepsi is identified by red and blue. KFC is red, so is Pizza Hut. Why did they take Pepsi instead? All in all, you can't go wrong with A&W's Root Beer and Sugar Bun's Ribena. :D

Mind's blank. All I can remember now is that in my past, I used to call all convenience store 7-11. All pharmacy as Guardian. And all fried mee as Maggi.

Now, what brand comes to mind first from these products: 1.Toilet bowl cleaner. 2.Tissue paper. 3.Sport shoes. 4.Snack Food. 5.Coffee Brand

For me, they're Toilet Duck, Kleenex, Nike, Twisties and Nescafe

Writing Blindly About Memories

Beginning from the next paragraph, if things gets totally distorted until no one understands what they're reading, I apologize. If it should be not readable at all, I will write another the following day to correct what is not readable. Problem is, I want to write about memories of my past, at the same time my left eye is having problems seeing. So, well, let's see how well my fingers can memorise the keys on the keyboard.

What cal I remember from my youth

I remember, at age of five, waiting for two years to wear the yellow shirt that my auntie gave me, that was yellow in colour with superman's face at the front.

I remember, at age eight, getting my first blue bike from Jaya Supermarket and having to ride it out of the shop to the car amidst people walking around shopping.

I remember, stamdomg om frpmt pf tje whp;e c;ass diromg Std 1 wjere O jad tp tale ,y omja;er. e;ectrpmoc omja;er at tje teacjer's desl wotj ,y froemds watcjomg ,e/ Bit mp ,pre mpw. tjaml Gpd/

O re,e,ber. forst weel pf scpp;. ,y ,i, stamds pitsode tje c;assrpp, fpr tje emtore schpp; dy tp te,am ,e/ What a s[po;t cjo;d. haha/

O re,e,ber. mpt ;olomg tyomg ,y shpes tjat O wemt fpr ve;crp imto; O was om Fpr, 3/ Tyomg shpes at tjat to,e was tje
rabbot craw;omg imdetr tje dimmp wjat" type of tying shoes/.

O re,e,ber. mearly burning the house, due to playing with matches and ridsect spray and see the flames roar out oh so great until I nearly burn the curtains.

I remember, still playing with fire, burning papers in the dustbin made of plastic outside my room, which caught fire until an uncle came to blow it out.

I remember, reaing my first rabbit and feeding it weed. And playing with crickets before feeding them to the fish in the aquarium.

I remember, chasing after cars trying to match my running speed with them, guess who wins?!

I remember, flying my first kite made of bamboo stick and rubbish bin bag. It flew yes, but it gets torn oh so easily.

I remember, making my first boat made of paper, playing a whole day with it.

I feel as if my fingers are not pressing correct letters on this laptop. Hope that what ever that I'm writing is readable. I will stop here.

What DO you all remember from your kids time of between five to ten?

The Excitement Of Confusion

Today has to be the busiest day of my working life this year. What an adrenaline rush! Three things in mind yet to follow up, while documenting two different reports, at the same time having to do a research (given 20 minutes to complete). There's just so much to do that the problem comes NOT from unable to finish the tasks, but more like, which task should I start first?? Furthermore, all the task are segregated into at least two 'waiting' period. So, this is what happened.

Doing Task A. Got a phonecall from potential client, went downstairs to meet client. While dealing with potential client, receive call from office, boss wanna see me about Task B. Complete the deal and rush back to office. Am glad colleague was assigned Task B, therefore obtained Task B from her, met boss. Boss handed Task C to complete in 20 minutes, at the same time wants me to draft new letter for Task B. Before leaving the room, asked to finish up Task A.

Sat at desk, Task D, E and F on mind. All these DEF requires only 10 minutes each, which is phone calls to various people, but cannot start yet. With the worry of DEF, I started Task C. Oops... need help from another division. Went to other Division with Task C. Came back to desk to continued Task A. Then, division came back with Task C, so continued with Task C. Finished Task C, can't print for boss yet due to printer overloaded, so continued Task B.

Boss came over, asked for Task C. Printed it out, went into boss's room with Task C when Task A was asked. Went back to desk, started Task A again. Finished printing Task A, went to boss, amendments! Amend Task A, send to boss, all ok. Continued Task B. While doing Task B, boss says he's leaving. So Task B hanging. Task G, which is related to Task A luckily helped by colleague.

Tomorrow have to bring Task G to client, at the same time Task D needs to be done as Task B need to be signed and brought to client of Task D as well. Task E, which is VERY important was put aside for 1 1/2 days already. Bad. Task F, need to meet up again with boss in the morning to discuss.

Therefore, according to formula. Hahah... I can't believe anyone would read this far! According to what I'm supposed to do. In the morning, bring Task B and F to boss. Do Task D. Bring Task G to client. Back to office, need to continue Task E.

Okay, stop here. It's mentally challenging, but fun.

Emotions, Part 1: Anger Leads To Love (Not Hate)

This is just a ramblings that I have been having with myself for some time now, several years in fact.

When a person falls in love with someone, the passion they generate for that someone is great. It can be from a mild "I want to give her flowers, or I want to cook for him" to something so big like "I work hard to get her/him this or that which usually is expensive". Love can make a person focus so much on the passion they feel, that nothing else matters.

Simple example. When a loved one is still trapped in a burning building, the fire seems non-important in the current case. All you know is to get into the house to save the loved one. The focus of the passion is so strong at that time, "to not lose that special loved-one" that only one thing exists in the mind. To save, risking yourself.... heck, you won't even know you're risking yourself due to that energy.

Now, let's go to anger. I will give a very simple example that has happened to a friend. He is with his loved-one. He's driving, the loved-one beside him on the passenger seat. They're going for a nice lunch together. The focus on LOVE is not that strong at that time, because he's contented with the current feeling of spending time together.

Suddenly... a modified kancil speeds up behind him, tailgate for a few seconds, flashes him and then cuts him on the left. He's driving a manual, also modified Alfa Romeo. What happens next. Due to ego, he was angered a little that a car tailgate him, the anger rose when the car flashed at him, and lastly the car cut him from the left! All the anger is due to ego.

Helicopter view: An Alfa Romeo chasing a Kancil on PLUS highway from KL to Port Dickson, when all he wanted to go was to Sepang. His passion and focus at that point of time is so strong it can be compared to love! Lunch is secondary, loved one sitting quiet and worried beside him is secondary, what must be done must be done, that is to cut the Kancil again to show he's superior. After that, the passion will die down and the focus is back to his loved one.

As ridiculous as this may sound, it happens to nearly ALL Malaysian drivers between the age of 18 to 40. Most of those above 40, who have learned patience and has total control over his ego will not even give a hoot about the kancil cutting to his left. Some between 30 to 40 will just make a small issue for about 5 minutes before the kancil gets out of his mind. But, between 18 to 30, it can haunt him into the night, some even for days, if he cannot chase the kancil.

Why lah let people steal your current emotional peace and contentment? How can we be as patience and as humble in our ego to just let these emotion-thief not get what they want? I guess it's all a question of ego, time and patience.

In Search Of Broadband In Malaysia

Few days back, I've talked about having problems applying for Streamyx online. I have had been to Streamyx offices and they have mentioned that I need to be on the waiting list, as new ports are not opened yet. Yeah, I can understand that. Being one of the late comers to Streamyx, the demand has decreased and at a very low demand per day, I'd have to wait weeks or maybe months before the quota is reached for them to open a new port.

In the meantime, I've checked out all other service providers. Firstly I cruised to Maxis's site, found out they have wireless broadband, and upon looking further, what the foot?! Only around USJ area?? Okay, then I skipped over to TIME Telekom for their Webbit, aiyah... only in PJ. How about Digi?? Digi's site is way too colourful it made me not want to browse around too much. From the 10 minutes I spent browsing around Digi, I can't find any product related to broadband access.

Lastly, I hopped to Jaring website. Good, they have wireless broadband, at a price of RM125 for 1MB as compared to Streamyx's RM99 (with modem). So, taadah, I've obtained the jaring access point and all the bla blas, to be tested and set up tonight. Let's hope it's not 1MB directed out from one satellite dish to be shared amongst 500,000 people.

While all of these are happening, this 3G thingy has came up. I'm very doubtful that a handphone can receive fast data soon. It'll take at least another 2-3 years before your handphone can watch TV live, or surf the internet at 1MB at that. However, it'll be an interesting technology to wait for.

Aiyah, come on lah... even camera phone is taking a way way long time to reach 1.2 megapixel. Not a strong post today, just mentioning experiences.

Waiting Is A Part Of Life, Same As Eating And Sh*tting

Yep, same like eating and shutting of doors. What transpired yesterday was a new record for me. I had to hand a document comprising two pieces of paper to someone, and to explain the document to her that would take about less than a minute, I had to wait. When I reached the front desk and asked for her, the receptionist told me to have a sit. Luckily there was Astro there, because, I had to wait, for a full 45 minutes and in the end didn't even end up seeing her!!

Amazingly, I wasn't the least bit emotionally disturbed. My samurai sword was still intact underneath my coat, and I didn't feel any anger, that leads to hate, that leads to suffering. While I did feel it a waste of precious marketing/sales time, few factors made my patience stay intact.

Firstly, the receptionist was yummy,.... no scratch that, I'm being influenced by kookycookie!! Argghh.... no no no. While I have to admit the receptionist is pleasant to look at, I hardly look at her. Okay, the real factors. Firstly, it was at 4:45pm, which means that's the last task of the day. Secondly, I can't wait for the clock to hit 5:30pm to go home. Thirdly, National Geographic was showing demolition works on Las Vegas's buildings. Fourthly, the receptioni... no! Get outta my head!! :P

It reminds me of the time when I had my passport renewed. I don't know how long it takes to wait in KL to reach the counter to renew passport. All I know is that when I had it renewed in Perlis, I was the first. When I picked it up, I was the first. Hardly any traffic. Renewing license is the same. In Kedah, I was the first in line. Post Office in Kedah, I was the first in line too. I remembered renewing passport in KL some time ago. Reach Subang branch at 7am, seeing a lot of people already queueing/queuing/queing,... weh, how to spell 'sedang beratur' in english!? I think the first one is the correct one. Ok, seeing a lot of people already queueing and only had my turn at about 10am. That's crazy, crazy... Aza, Serina's phone is not working. Mooo....!!

Post office in KL,... sigh.... 4 counters. Counter 1 to cater to couriers and postages, Counter 2 to 4 for every other thing. Counter 1 is active. Staff at counter two is active, filing her fingernails. Staff at counter three is active, service the customers who are lining up a single line of nearly 20 people. The last two customers are lining up outside the post office. Staff at counter four is busy rearranging things on the desk. YOU are 17th in line. Just placed carpark for one hour. Customer 12 and 14 looks like they have got tons of bills to pay. Time goes by. Fifty minutes gone. You're now 4th in line. Parking meter's running out. Decision... should I come back another time and restart lining from the back, or risk kena saman (get summons). You're now first in line, yay!!! "Ah? Have to bring original license ah? Photoshat cannot ah? Please lah, I line up one hour already. Can lah. Cannot ah? See my samurai sword or not?" Happened to me, sure to happen to many other people as well.

Slow Computers

There are slow computers and there are sloooooowww computers. Today I'm at a different site, not using my common computer specifications, but rather a 16MB Ram pc which is shared by many other users. With all the nonsensical programs in it, I'd have to wait for 10 minutes before I can start moving my mouse!

Hmm.... even pressing ENTER to get to this paragraph it lags. No, though I know how to fix this computer to make it run faster, I won't. As evil as I am, I won't want others to benefit from a fast computer. Fine, lemme blog today using this Netscape 7 which I just downloaded and installed, instead of the IE which hangs the comp every single time! Aiyah... what lah you people put in this pc?

I guess today's log will be a short one as I am slowly losing my patience with the lag in typing. Feels like a badly mimed movie, where the mouth moves first and then comes the voice to fit that mouth movement.

Notices Of Apology

At lunch today, I noticed this notice noticably noticed within the premise of the shop that I usually makan (eat) at. Well typed and printed on a conventional A4 paper, placed at 5 strategic areas within the restaurant, it says:

Dear Valued Customers,

We apologize if you find our choices less than the usual. This is due to one of our cooks falling ill with high blood pressure. Business will return as usual tomorrow.

Management of ******

First that came to mind is, there's high blood pressure and there's high blood pleasure, but we won't talk about that today. Frankly, I wouldn't have noticed the lack of choices if the notice was not there in the first place. What I would notice is that 'hey, there's two new dishes I haven't noticed before'. Well, that's good. The cook is ill, some other cook was good enough to add in new dishes to cover for what the previous cook could cook cookingly.

What if the same restaurant faces some other shortages of staff. I'd expect to see these: -

We apologize if you find yourself placing your dishes on tissue paper. This is due to one of our washing staff falling ill. You may obtain your own plates from the back if you don't mind washing them.

OR

We apologize if you have to play UNO Stacko with plates from previous patrons. This is due to one of our cleaning staff falling ill. Should the plates topple over and add half-eaten food to your plate, consider it a bonus from us.

OR

We apologize if you have to place your own price to the food you took. This is due to our cashier falling ill. Please determine your own food price, and put it to the nearest next RM10. Which means if you think your food is RM4.80, please pay RM10 instead. If it's RM12.10, please pay RM20.

Notices are good. It gives patrons a sense of responsibility by the management. It would also sooth motorists reading this at four-way traffic lights.

We apologize if you have to fight against traffic coming from another three directions. This is due to our traffic policeman falling ill.

Service type business MUST run at all times to provide services to the community. That is a rule. Therefore, notices such as this need to be placed.

We apologize if you find our bus driver driving rather recklessly. This is due to our main bus driver falling ill. The current bus driver is one of the passengers. If the bus driver has reached his destination, please request the passenger who came up after him/her to take over the wheel. The last passenger of the day need to return this bus back to the station.

We apologize if you don't find our pretty stewardess showing you how to put on your seat belt, gas mask and life jacket. This is due to our stewardess falling ill. Please vote one of the female passengers using their seat number, send to 11133 (lines are closed 5 minutes before take-off). The passenger with the highest number of votes will be announced by our captain, to demo the safety features of our aircraft.

But seriously, I would like to repeat. Notices do tend to give a feeling of security to people who are facing something out of the ordinary.

Dear Kenny of South Park, we apologize if you don't feel your own heart beat. This is due to our staff carelessness who ate your heart instead of the potato that he heated in the oven. You now have a potato in your body, and 5 seconds to live.

We apologize if you cannot read this notice. This is due to our staff negligence during your eye corrective laser surgery. Please request for the braille version of this notice from our front desk.

We apologize if you find everyone in this bank squatting with their hands over their heads. This is due to our security guards falling ill. Please do as the robbers tell you to do to stay safe. Should you like to play hero, do so at your own risk.

I'll just stop here.

I Wanna Go Home

No, I'm not imitating ET. If I was, I'll say "ET go home"

Till today, society dictates that if you go home late, you are hardworking. Society never dictate that if you go home late, you have horrible time management! Why?! Putting workaholics aside, nearly all of us put family over career. But some even sacrifice family for career with the reason "If I work hard, I'll climb the corporate (keparat in malay :P) ladder and get a lot of money for the family! However, I have to minimise my time with family for now."

What usually happens in the end? You work hard, you spend less time with your family, you get stressful, you get good pay, you lack social life, hey, that's a pretty/handsome colleague I have, let's get to know each other to regain social life even if it's at work, hey, let me send you home, hey, I've ended up falling in love with you, what?, my family, ahh... they don't care about me, I come home late, they don't make noise anymore. Who the heck started saying "I work hard for family" anyway?!

Society dictates that if you go home late, you are hardworking and risk destroying your family. I for one will not stay back just for the sake of staying back and show my face around. I only stay back to finish unfinished work, and never up to Maghrib. I have a colleague who believes in that principle. Never stay back till Maghrib.

I bring work home. Wah... so many mouths open wide! Why?! Yeah, tons of you say "do not bring work home". At least I'm home with my family first, and sacrifice my sleeping hours to do work. Meaning, after the night is done, family prepares to sleep will I start my work. One thing I agree is, do bring work home, but do not bring the stress of work home.

That being said, I very much like the idea that I obey my working hours as written in the employment contract. I save my company money by going home on time as I don't use up their resources like electricity and water. Better go home early and deliver, than staying back till 10pm still not delivering anything. This applies to strategic and sales... for you in operations, well, I really can't help you. For those who are overworked, I believe your boss does not know how much workpile you are having, be discreet and tactful when you throw away your work into the dustbin, no lah... I mean when you let the boss know you're overworked. I notice this usually happens in law firms with bad or ignorant bosses.

Shopping For Services

Ahh... but not 'that' kind of services, for those of you who's currently thinking less with your head, more with your body right now.

Before I start complaining about this, I'd like to say that I'm happy I'm not in those countries whereby shopping malls closes at the same time office ends for the day. So, well, Go Malaysia!! Shopping malls closes at 10pm - 11pm, some even opens till wee hours in the morning!

Services... now that's where we face problems. Just in case you're wondering why the heck I brought this topic up, easy! Here it is. My tyre is punctured. I think there's a nail stuck somewhere, and it's been letting out some 10cm square of air per day (ya rite, like I got time to measure lah!). It has been that way since 8 days back, and until today I still cannot find the time to send the tyre for err.. 'tampal', in english that'll be 'stick'. Yucks! Tolong tampal buletin tu. Please stick that bulettin. Aiyah... nevermind, you get my drift.

By the time work is finished, workshops are already closed. So, I end up EVERY evening before reaching home, filling up the tyre with air. Lunch you say?? Where I work it'll take my whole lunch hour + additional 10 to 20 minutes to reach the nearest workshop and get back to office. So for now, I just have to wait till I get sick... hahaha! Crap, waiting to get sick, then only drive out to get the tyres tampal-ed.

If you guys are staying in PJ or KL and knows of a workshop that opens after 7pm, please do tell me. I'm tired of filling up air every evening. Scared the petrol kiosk attendant will come up and say "Eh, last time people steal diesel, now people start stealing air ah? You gonna put air in bottle, and ship to Tokyo ah?"

An ad in EBAY.COM
"For Sale: Malaysian Kuala Lumpur air. Standard Air Quality Index for Tokyo car tyres."

Other services including post office, TM and banks are still good, since they do open on Saturdays, and some banks open on Sundays. Glad of that.

Contracts And Agreements

Today, I was in a two hours meeting, going through clauses after clauses within an agreement. That being said, I have absolutely no hard feelings for my clients or any other contract obeying people, but well, since contracts and agreements are legal matters that can bring to court cases, we'll see how 'dangerous' sentences within agreements are.

This brings me to that joke when someone say "I can write with my left ear." When someone challenges him/her to do so, he/she will just take a pen and writes "with my left ear". Understanding a contract requires VERY meticulous eye and mind.

Let's touch on various common clauses that can be found in contracts. I will use the most common contract which is "rental of house". This contract I found online, therefore, no party is humiliated. Mmm.. I'm not planning to humiliate anyone actually, just to show the dangers of clauses.

"Smoking on the premises will cause loss of deposit as will the presence of pets".
If the landlord comes over for a visit, bringing his pet parrot who suddenly flies into the house, the tenant will lose their deposit. Why? It didn't specift whose pets. Also, tenants who smokes on the rooftop will lose deposit against smoking 'within' the premises.

"Immediate notice must be made to the Landlord�s agent if the following conditions occur: fire or theft, dangerous, defective, unsafe or emergency condition in or on the leased premises, or any needed repair or maintenance."
This letter was found intact near a stabbed dead body. "Dear landlord, my house was broken into yesterday but I was able to scare him off. As I'm unable to contact you via phone until today, I've decided to write you a letter of notice instead. I understand that I cannot repair my broken door and windows until you are notified. I feel the need to expedite my notification by letter because as of right now, the same robber is knocking on my bedroom door threatening to kill me."

"The accommodation can welcome a maximum of four persons."
Should your wife give birth to triplets, you have to rent another house, or the husband needs to move out.

"The rental agreement covers temporary residence only."
If the rental agreement does not have enough pages to fully cover the residence, you may enlarge it to A3 sizes and proceed to cover the residence with that. Failing to do that, the rental agreement need to be written on several parachutes.

In conclusion, an agreement should only be legalised between all parties who speak the same language and lingo. An IT firm and a school teacher will read this differently. "Should you misplace your notebook, the company will have the right to charge you RM5.90 for replacement of your notebook. Important information contained within is at your loss."

Damn syiok, if I work in an IT company, and misplace my notebook computer in my grandma's house, I can get a replacement for only RM5.90.

Applying Streamyx

Streamyx has got a very awkward online application system. This was what happened to me.

Fine, registration error, maybe I wrote something wrongly (eventhough the system is supposed to be able to detect me missing something out). So I tried for the second time, completing EVERY textboxes there are to be filled, and guess what?! Came back to the screen. Ok then, I'm supposed to go to the nearest Kedai Telekom with the complains, fine, I'll do that.

Before going to Kedai Telekom, why not make a phonecall and ask "why" was the registration error-ed. So, I did what most of us will do, call up Streamyx hotline and asked to check the problem.

The response was this: -
Dude: "Mr Ismail-something-fishy, you didn't apply for streamyx yet."
Me: "I did!",
Dude: "No Mr Tong-Sam-Pah, you have not. It's not in the system"
Me: "I registered online, twice some more."
Dude: "I'm sorry, Mr Anakanda a/l Ayahanda, but you either have to register online again, or go to Kedai Telekom and register there."

Aiyah... what's the use of Online Application if customer service dude can't even help. Lucky I didn't go to Kedai Telekom with my MIPS Order ID, since it doesn't exist. Well, Saturday it is then.

"I DIDN'T LEARN ANYTHING..."

Some time ago, a colleague of mine, being a fresh grad working for about 4 months, lamented that she didn't learn anything. Did I learn something the past 4 months? Did YOU learn anything yesterday?

I can understand fresh grad's mentality. At class, they learn A LOT theoritically. At work, we learn A LOT too, but by experience. She and I are working in sales, which logically involves a lot of phone calls, selling and meeting people. There is a hell lot of things that we learn.

Learning will have these effects: Career Advancement, Self Advancement or both. Most people fail to see that sometimes work cannot bring to career advancement, or even self advancement. Let's go into some examples. From the good to the bad.

Fireman: Heroes. Career advancement - decision making. Self Advancement - courage.Robbers: Criminals. Career advancement - planning skills, research. Self Advancement - none, unless you wanna consider ninja skills like stealth and hiding lah.

My personal belief is that you learn wherever you are, and in whatever job you're doing. Come, show me a job and I tell you what you gain out of it. Lemme talk about my friends who holds jobs that people look down upon (especially if they're to be a son-in-law to someone's mother).

Grocery items delivery man: Muscles (yes, and lean muscle at that!), meticulous. What does this guy know that I don't?? Product markets!! He knows which instant noodle sells better, which drinks sell better. If you're in a product marketing company, you wanna buy market research which may cost tons, or hire this guy who can tell you WHO picks up the drinks or mee while he's delivering and rearranging the items. Hey, advertising can be geared towards what this guy knows, man!

Fine, one example. I don't wanna write too long for this one. One last example. A prisoner locked in a dark room for 5 consecutive days. He learns how it feels like to be near insanity. He can even write a book on "Socialising: Why we cannot be alone." What would Tom Hanks be like, if he didn't have this volleyball friend called Wilson to keep him company? Insane, man! Insane!

That being said, most jobs teaches us patience, same goes for traffic jams, but that's another story. You meet all type of people, from customers to bosses, you learn to be tactful. You learn social skills. There's no such thing as not learning anything.

If you don't learn patience, this is what might happen to you during a tele-marketing call, especially after facing the same thing five times already in the day.

You: Hello, is this AAA company?
Operator: Yes, this is. Can I help you?
You: Can I speak to your director?
Operator: May I know what is it regarding?
You: Err... I would like to introduce a new toothpaste to your company.
Operator: Oh, can you please fax us the details and I will hand it to him.
You: (Wah... so troublesome. I just wanna talk to director mah, why this operator so mah-fan one?) No, no... I just want to set an appointment with him to meet him face-to-face.
Operator: I'm sorry, but we cannot allow that, please fax us the information instead.
You: Oi, I just wanna talk to him for stupid 5 minutes to set an appointment lah. So mah-fan. Duck my sick lah!
Operator: (hangs up)
*Next few days you get fired.

Incidentally, for you minors who are wondering what "Duck my sick lah!" means, it's just to insult someone with an innocent bad grammar. "You are stupid" is a harsh correct grammar. "My sick duck lah" is an innocent correct grammar which does not constitute an insult. Just so you know.

Crap, such a long post, and no pics. Next time will be better.