Tuesday, February 27, 2007


Crap, for someone who hardly listens to malay songs, I find myself emotionally attached to the lyrics, tune and voice of Izwan Pilus's Indah Lelapku.

It gives me this story.

An accident happened. Gibran, on his motorcycle riding along the main road near his place, crashed into a Kenari whose driver didn't take a proper lookout when she came out of a corner. Shocked, Lissa, the driver of the car got out of her car to check on him. Lucky he hit the left passenger side of the car. Gibran was ok, though in pain, was able to get up. They left the motorbike there, front tyre gone and all, and proceeded to the nearest hospital. She found him troublesome due to her carelessness, but he wass mesmerised by her beauty to push the fault of the accident on her.

She paid for the damages and hospital bills. Only scratches and lumps on his thighs and body, otherwise everything is ok. Friendship ensued,... which turned romantic as days go by. By the third month, they found comfort in each other. They have their special restaurant, their special song and their romantic spot to spend time together, the beach. The beach, just to enjoy the sounds of the wave and the wind, to just sit near each other, no need for conversation, just the joy of feeling the warmth and companion of each other.

Just happens that one day it started to rain, they ran back to his bike. Might as well spend time indoors, to their special restaurant. On the way there, along a long road, a car swerved out of a corner without looking. Gibran only manage to see a flash of light as he hits the car.

He wakes up in the hospital. Asked for Lissa. Doctor was baffled. "You got into a bad accident, a bad blow to the head. Physically, everything is ok. You've been in a coma for three months!" As soon as he could, he went to the beach; the special place with Lissa. No one there, but wait, someone about 30 feet away walking towards the edge of the water. Lissa! Before he could even call her, she turned around as if answering someone's shout. A man came out, ran to her, hugged her, and a little girl comes running and hugged both of them at their legs.

Nyatalah dia hanya dalam mimpiku
Tak bisa aku memilik cinta hati
Nyatalah dia hanya kekasih pelukku
Sampai di sini kisah aku dengannya

Dalam lelapku ini...
Terbayang wajah seakan puteri
Dan hilang...
Segala rupa yang telahku bayang
Dan hilang....
Segala rasa yang telahku rasa
Dan hilang....
Segala semua harapanku
Dan hilang...
Cerita indah dalam tidurku
Dan hilang....
Segala rupa yang telahku bayang

Tuesday, February 13, 2007


Day 1
It's not that I don't have the looks. I think I look presentable enough, but I just don't earn enough to really keep my girlfriend happy. I know a lot of people asked me to find another suitable girl, but I love her and I really do think she loves me. I don't blame her for her expensive taste. It is just her lifestyle, not her attitude. I should be very happy that she eventually chosed to accept me into her life after two years of friendship.

Two weeks back, she told me that at times when I'm busy at night with my second job, she just had to find some social friends. Now she have been going out with one guy in particular quite often. Him, I have no worries about. He has exactly what I don't have... money and time, but he don't have the looks. Still, she is happy to go out with him, nothing romantic, it's purely a mutual social friendship. He buys her a lot of stuff, and though she forcefully told him not to, she still keeps them. She told me not to worry, I'm in her heart. She only takes whatever he gives sincerely, and she does not flirt with him at all. I still have her. I'm happy.

Day 2
I'm not happy, and this is not funny! How the hell can she fall for him? Why did she do this, calling me up late last night just to tell me that she may be falling for him?! And now she's cancelling our dinner tonight, saying that she wants to go out with a girlfriend who just dropped into town just for a day. When I asked her if she's lying and going out with him instead, she told me 'No!'... but I know better.

Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you so much for doing this to me. Why didn't you just tell me from the start that my lack of money can cause all this?! Anyway, it's dinner time now. I've sent a nice bouquet of flowers and a nice heart shaped chocolate cake I baked myself in the afternoon. Hope you enjoy them. Hope you enjoy him and be happy with him. I'm not for you. Happy Valentine's Day.

....Shatter of glass. A thud. People screaming.....

Day 3
It's murder! Someone pushed my boyfriend out his apartment! Police is saying it might be suicide but I know him well enough. He loves me, and I love him so so much. God I miss him! I should have just invited him along to see Maggie, but she was too inconsolable, having just divorced her husband, stopping by KL on the way back to her hometown. Peter called me this morning saying that he feels as if he's interfering with my life. He said he adores me, and tried to 'buy my heart' with money, but he feels that he cannot buy love and has stepped back. I really thought he looked at me like a sister, the way he treats me is no different from how my brother does. Such a fool I am for not realising.

Don't worry, honey. No one can take us apart. We'll be together again tonight. I'll use the same 'door' that you were forced into. I don't care about the murderer, all I want is you. Wait for me.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Psychology in Lifts

You know how we all hate it when we are about to get out of lifts and others are shoving themselves in?? But sometimes we end up doing the same instead?! We're not gonna talk about this, but let's check this one out.

1. Stand or Lean
When you enter an empty lift, where do you stand in the lift? And do you stand straight or you lean against something? For myself, I nearly always stand at back left corner and lean to my left (lift wall supporting left shoulder). Can I actually come up with a psychological study on this preference of a) choice of location to stand in lift and b) to stand straight or lean? Anyway, what is your choice?

2. Pressing A Number
When you enter a lift with some other people (maybe 3-4), do you settle yourself nicely in the lift and then only press to the desired floor, or do you press first before you settle yourself? For myself, I nearly always press first the moment I enter the lift before settling myself where to stand. What do you do?

3. You and the Opposite Gender
If someone of your opposite gender stands exactly centre left of the lift, do you stand on the center right of the lift to sort-of "balance" the placement of people in the lift, or do you go about your business standing wherever you want? Just say that you stand on the centre right, with just the same distance from the lift door as the person beside you. Who leaves first? You attempt to leave first or the other person leaves first (ie reaching the Ground floor when you know both will leave at the same floor)? For myself, I nearly always allow someone parallel or in front of me to leave first and then my turn, unless I'm with my family in which case I'll just move towards the door to leave asap.

4. Idle Time in the Lift
At least 80% of the time, someone MUST make themself preoccupied while waiting to reach the desired floor. The other 20% of the time they just stand/lean there like a statue. Preoccupying means they fiddle with the phone, fiddle with their hair, looking up at the numbers (showing what floor lift is currently at), etc. For myself, if I know I don't need to fiddle with my phone, I nearly always looking up at the numbers. That's the only thing I can think of doing while waiting.

5. Aura
I'm sure you have been in a position where there are about 5 people in the lift and you are at the centre (since the other took the corners). How do you feel? Do you feel as if the two dudes/dudettes behind you are looking at you? Do you feel uneasy by the personal aura of four people intruding into your own personal aura? Or you don't even give a darn because you're aura-challenged? :P For myself, yes, I do feel uncomfortable at times, maybe due to the fact that standing in the center of the lift, I can't possibly lean against anything. How about you?

This is purely an opinion study I'd like to test because I travel up and down lifts daily as I need to meet tenants, contractors, do some rounding of the building, etc.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Sad State of Modern Living

Until today I still receive calls from hotel membership people asking me to be part of their hotel membership. Eeee.... horribly constructed sentence. Anyway, the method of selling is seriously putting into the subconscious minds on the "proper" modern living everyone should enjoy.

The varieties of selling point are as follows: -

1. Elegant and Luxurious
"Don't you want to spend time away from home and stay somewhere elegant and luxurious? We have a huge room, with amazing view, king-sized bed, etc yada yada." Though I accept and agree to some people's need to feel rich (like some of my friends going to car showroom to test out cars) I do think also that you cannot have that feeling daily, or weekly or even monthly in fact! Too much of a good thing will make you yearn it more and more.

No problem if you yearn being rich and actually put an effort to it, but most people wanna feel rich without putting the effort, so what happens?! Loans! Or the better word is being in debt! And this is for things that depreciate in value. I don't need to talk finance here, you know where this leads.

2. Shopping Malls Are Just Across The Street
"Sir, this hotel in Bangkok is located right in front of the shopping mall for you to do your shopping!" Shopping in this modern lifestyle has become a hobby. It's like "Hey, man, what you doing this weekend?" "I'm gonna be fishing, or maybe do a little bit of reading, and if my friends call me out, I guess we'll head to snooker" or "I'm going shopping, wha'dya think!?". I'm still wondering why "shopping" books are not listed under Hobbies categories in bookshops. "Idiot's Guide to Shopping" "Learn Shopping Today!" "Master Shopping in 24 Hours"

3. You eat for two, but only pay for one! You, as a member, gets to eat free of charge!
I know for a fact that most 4-5 star hotels charges at least RM60 per head (exclusive of 15% service and government tax). I always tell them that I will not eat in hotel at all for that kind o ridiculous pricing, even at RM69 for two people because it's totally absurb. Hotel food is cooked for the masses meaning it's not gonna be as delicious as compared to people who cook one meal at a time for a maximum of 4 people to eat. Luxury food, people, is to eat DELICIOUS food with someone special. The hotel ambience just doesn't meet the pricing they place on the food. So here, "Eating at hotels" is supposed to be a modern lifestyle?!?

4. Can't think of anything more from the conversation.

Monday, February 05, 2007


The are three things that I consciously fear; death of myself, death of a loved one and 'falling'. Fear of death to self started since I got married. Death of a loved one is ongoing. 'Falling', this one is a fear that has followed be consciously since secondary school. Why I'm writing this today is because this fear showed itself in full face by a friend.

I have just been contacted by a '3-months of lost contact' friend who 'fell'. You 'Fall' when you have nothing to live for. You 'Fall' when you want to get out of your current 'life situation'. You 'Fall' when you're dealth with a shock for which the impact you are not ready for.

No names, but description yes. A nice girl, very hardworking and always takes care of her image, never skipped a prayer, leading a social lifestyle up to drinking tea/coffee till late at nights and dancing once or twice a week with gal-friends or social friends at discos. Work stress led to... drinking, smoking and drugs (weeds and pills). No more prayers, no more replying friend's sms or phonecalls, just releasing stress after work at pubs/bars being drunk. That's a BIG fall for someone to make a complete u-turn in life!

The only light in this is... she realised it, yesterday. First step to climbing out of a hole no matter how deep you fell. There is absolutely no one else who can help a fallen person other than that person. I can throw a rope, or heck, get a helicopter and a nice matress tied down to lower into the hold, but if a fallen person doesn't even wanna get up, all help is useless. The funny thing is, these people don't realise that being in the bleakest moment has one thing that everyone else don't have: Things can only get better. Problem with human being is that they are contented with "living the moment" that they see no future, or don't even strive for it.

Just to share a little from the show "Secret" which I'd rather call "A Philosophical View on Law of Attraction". Where we are now is due to what we did in the past, and what we are doing now SHOULD be what we want in our future. If we fail to do something for our future, then we are living the moment purely to kill time or fill-up whatever idle time we have with things we like that does not contribute to anything. It's no different from a parking-lot attendant sitting in his booth and not thinking of changing job ever and not even reading a book/newspaper/magazine during his idle time and prefers to day-dream only.

Please take care of your life, seriously. It totally begins with the man in the mirror, no one else.