Friday, December 28, 2007
Your name is the strongest magic that binds your soul to your body. Think about it. It is the most repeated word in your first few months of life. Your mother says it, your father says it, your aunties, uncles, grandpa, grandma, strangers, etc. It is also said a lot during your final few months before delivery, whereby you practically exist in this world having your name drummed into you. It is the most repeated word said by you during your childhood (besides "I want! I want!") and most repeated word written by you during your childhood to school days. It is really the word that is most sacred and most familiar to you. It identifies you.
In the malay culture, (not sure of other cultures), it is used to discipline you. Whenever you get out of line during your toddler years and childhood years, your parents and even teachers would call out your full name before asking you to behave. Nearly all the time, when that full name is being called, your attention to it is different than just calling you by your nickname/at-home-name.
That being said, I urge all of you, to remember that should any ill luck fall on yourself, your loved-ones (and even myself if you now me), and the affected loses consciousness, to call out the full name of the person. I believe this generally will create a reply, no matter how miniscule that reply may be. I have no medical proof but it's just something I truly believe.
Strongest would be the calling from a mother (the most heard and most familiar voice during your formation in the womb all the way to childhood). For the adult and older folks, it triggers earlier memories of their innocent moments of childhood which brings a reply. "Mommy, Daddy", though called out by a very loved one, might not be as strong as a name. Therefore, use the name.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
How many people in the world would take up this kind of scenario?
You reach work at 9:00am. You sit down at your desk, with only the computer in front of you. You can access the internet, but you are not allowed to visit any entertainment site at all such as sports, fashion or gossips. This also includes blogs, personal email, online banking and bursa saham.
You can only leave your place to go to the toilet, the prayer room and lunch from 1pm to 2pm. Doing this until 6:00pm, you get yourself RM120.
Would you do it? Would you do it for a week?
Friday, December 14, 2007
Two weeks ago, I saw it. While books still describe "He would be able to pronounce 1,000 words." "He can finish a whole sentence of three words." etc, I'm not too keen on that kind of calculation results. I think this year would be a very interesting year to see him understanding different concepts.
Last year, whenever something gets damaged, it's purely a description of 'rosak' (spoil), which need to be 'baiki' (fixed). When something got smashed, it's 'rosak'. When his toy car tyre came off, it's 'rosak'. When something broke like when he broke a plastic ruler in half, it's 'rosak'. Now, he can differentiate 'rosak' as in electronically, 'dah habis bateri' (battery depleted), 'patah' (snapped) and a few others that doesn't come to mind now. Amazingly, new words also formed which I have not heard such as 'mati' (dead) and just yesterday 'cabut' (pulled off).
But wah... understanding 'mati' is scary. I wonder what he learned from other relatives. My guess is the 'mati' came from the aquarium fishes dying quite often. So now he could differentiate sleep and death.
Another concept is reasoning. My wife and I wondered when he would be able to understand 'why'. And now he does. Asking him 'why' when he says or want something gets proper reasoning answer. Another interesting concept is that he knows the difference between 'campak' (throw) and 'baling' (toss), which is somewhat similar in result but using different actions. Also there's 'here' and 'there' indicating far and near.
Slowly, he's learning colors now. And he just got himself a watch which he's eager to read what the dials mean. Let's see when my next post will be.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
He roams the parking area around Masjid India, especially nearby the bridge at Jalan Bunus. Being a kind hearted fellow, he knocks on your door politely the moment you park your car and ask you how long you intend to park there. Yep, I met him today.
"Satu Jam (One Hour)", I said.... and he proceeded to insert his pisau lipat (small flip blade) into the coin slot and magically increase the parking time to 60 minutes. And then he says "60 sen" and shows his palm at you.
Though Pisau Lipat Man has no right to did what he did, knowing these people with super powers... if I insist on putting real coins into the coin slot, he'll unleash his "Pisau Seribu Mata" (Thousand Bladed Thrusts) power to my paint job of my car. So therefore, I gave him the 60 cents.
I'm sure this has gone on for a long time. City Hall must not have been thinking logically how a packed parking area doesn't give enough profit.
Monday, December 10, 2007
True, there are some that doesn't need to end. Just like a certain fantasy books I have been following and leaving to read the final book three years later because I don't want the fantasy to end. Don't want the feeling of watching the final minutes of Lord of the Rings, quite sad that the journey finally end for us fans.
Anywayyy... let's call this guy friend of mine as "Boy" and my good girl friend as "Girl". Some of you know who they are, so here, I'm also taking the opportunity to tell you why I did what I did, because I know (yes, arrogantly) what happened between the two of them more than anyone of us.
13 years ago, Boy and Girl got into a relationship when Boy was here for a whole year due to his parents working here. Then Boy left here, asking me to take care of Girl while he's away, which brings me close to Girl and we've been good friends, even now 13 years on. Boy however, failed to contact Girl and Girl has no way to contact Boy.
Two years after that, Boy contacted me, asked about Girl. He seems to still care for Girl though I don't know why Boy didn't try contacting her. So, I gave Boy Girl's contact number after telling Girl that her past wants to contact her. Later I found out Girl broke down on the phone when Boy contacted her. Guess feelings are still strong after 2 years apart. No more news since then. I never brought it up anyway.
Then in 2004 (8 years later) Boy contacted me, asking how I'm doing, etc... and still asked about Girl. I never told Girl he called because he has Girl's contact number and he can contact her if he wants, and I'm not sure if they did stay in contact after that.
Two weeks ago, Boy contacted me saying he's coming to Malaysia, and again asked about Girl. As I knew Girl got married already, I told Boy, and I told him that her number is only given to him if she allows it. So I called Girl, stating that Boy is coming and wondering if she'd like to see him. Boy is interested to see her but since he found out she's married, he was quite afraid of it. In conclusion, Boy has not gotten over Girl, and Girl has not gotten over the hurt Boy inflicted on her.
So, when I finally met up with Boy, I drove him over to Girl's town area to show him the old place we used to hang out, and I also told Girl he's around if she's willing to meet up in the middle of the night (2am). I knew they both would like to see each other but Boy is afraid to ask for it while Girl wants Boy to ask for it. I told Girl that it's quite certain that Boy dare not meet Girl, so if she want to see him, she'll just have to drop by where we were having a mamak drink.
Girl came, and they met, in front of me. Not being a lamp post here,... 13 years, things are over. But not having a proper closure (in terms of meeting each other face to face since then) is not good because it gnaws on both of them. My reason, to push for this closure is i) Girl needs to know that Boy is not the same person her old self was head-over-heels in love with. ii) Boy needs to see that Girl is happy with her life now. iii) Boy needs to close his own heart of still wanting. iv) Both just need to see each other to realize that things are done with.
Few days later, Girl is satisfied. Her young self is different from herself now, so she needn't wonder "What-if" anymore after seeing how he's turned out 13 years later. Boy on the other hand... still wants. It was his choice not to continue contacting her, brings to where it is now, similar to the phrase from Nelly's "Over and Over" featuring Tim McGraw... "I was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything, But I see clearly now, And this choice I made keep playing in my head"
I have nothing against both of them, both are good friends of mine. Even then I think a little bit of intervention had to come in, for the benefit of one at least (though I hoped it will be for both of them to realize that the past is the past). So, Klang Dude, if you're reading this.... yup, our advice to Boy differs, but you never knew Girl's side of the story. It's one thing not to disturb the harmony of Girl, but it's another to close Girl's "Why?" to his leaving without contact which she carries for 13 years. Even then, I only created the chance, it's up to Girl to take it or not. But know this,.. though my own interventions can be a mistake as I'm also only human and very prone to make mistakes, at least both are happy for the chance to meet again.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Since I left my previous home after getting married, I have been staying in a house (ok, well, a condo) and hope to have my our own home soon. Though I stay here and my kid laughs a lot, it is still not a home. Not until it really belongs to me and my family.
Thinking about it again, a home is not really about a place. It's the mindset. When people say "home", you don't generally think of the house, or an aerial view of the land the house sits on, but the feeling of being in that house/area. They can smell 'home', feel at home, etc.... basically it brings to mind the feeling of belonging, secure, and where 80% of happy childhood memories reside.
Let me assume that this will happen to a certain 'crazy biscuit' who'll return home after being two years in NY. During the flight, once the captain says "We're in Malaysian air space.", the first sigh of "home" happens, either on her lips or mind. Having to enter a country where she belongs is first feeling of home.
Then as the plane land on the tarmac and she gets off, she'll drop herself to the ground to kiss it, "ahh... home". But the airport personnel will say "Oi, you're kissing the carpet lah. You're in the arrival chute."
Then she'll meet her families and friends carrying placards stating "Welcome Home, N". Japanese anime fans who gets into the arrival hall will wonder if the famed Near or "N" of Death Note is for real. Anyway, once she hugs her family, another "home!".
At home, once she drops her beg and lie down on the bed with bedbugs carrying small placards stating "Welcome home, food!", she'll sigh her final "Homeeee.... ahh.." and just lay down there for about another half an hour. Everything in place; feeling secured, happy, smelling her favourite food being cooked by her mum thus reliving memories of the past, all constitute to finally being home.
Now, for some it's not home just yet. "Oh, need to call my friends out!".... the final piece of home,... social belonging. :D
Me..... my hopes is that in the future, home is where I fine solace, create memories, the place where I can be all I want to be. And the place where when I open the door, I can smell my wife's Soto Ayam. Hehehe....
Monday, December 03, 2007
EFFORT is the greatest weapon in any male's arsenal in getting a girl to fall in love with him. Problem is that most sincere guys have no guts doing it, while scheming ones are having a field day with it.
What I'm writing is purely based on experiences of myself and people around me. Examples of these efforts which usually begins before a relationship bloom (or before a girl falls into his trap) are those that usually sacrifice time and ego. After being friends, the next steps will be long phone calls (most guys do not like being on the phone for too long), picking up and dropping them home to go offices (this is superbly common), driving all the way to another state just to see them during the weekend where they're staying/having to work the weekend, bringing them dinner when you know they're not well, and many many more.
They seem like a very sincere gesture, no crime there at all, but it's the same 'sincere' gestures that scheming guys do as well, which I don't particularly like. I've had my fair share of this 'effort' experimentations during my college days, and yes, it does work. But no, to set the record straight, I don't bring it all the way to a relationship, but to a good friend stage for those I'm particularly fond of (not romantically).
Anyway, I really have to say that all girls do have to watch out when they see these efforts being done to them, especially from a guy who have just known them. Let's not talk about the evil scheming ones to try to get in her pants, but those who really want a relationship pronto (means fast).
The efforts, though as sincere as they may be is not really sincere. The act of effort is based on emotions, passion and aggression to cut down the time it takes to really get to let love nurture itself slowly. Guys, you yourselves should take note of this, as I also have taken note of this.
In most relationships, the effort of a guy starts to decline the moment it goes to the next step; a relationship. And then efforts in relationship declines further when it goes into marriage. I can throw this question to a hall of ladies and at least 90% will agree. I am also a culprit of this, on some efforts I might have done (at that time sincerely, but cannot keep up with the sincerity).
In my example, I guess it'll have to be the phone calls, which is usually common and long, but that's due to my high interest to get to know everything I want to know about my girlfriend, but still, yes, that effort declines because I know my girlfriend enough already and just need to contact to be abreast on what each other is currently doing. At least now that we spend our nights together as families, communication is still there. Nevertheless, I admit that this effort declined.
Guys, before you drive off to surprise your girlfriend (or still a friend) who have to work outstation for the weekend, ask yourself if you'd do the same happily when you're a husband. If at all you think it'll be a chore, then don't even start. It does pain your girl/wife to see your romantic actions start to diminish as time goes by. I myself have no qualms about driving far just to reunite with my wife.
Domestically, I find washing the dishes is utterly boring, so I never started to even put effort in washing dishes during my first few times at my in-laws place. Though it sounds so bad, I think it's the right thing to do. I wash dishes only when it seem necessary, like not to trouble others to wash after me.
Clothes is another story. Ironing clothes, folding them and then stacking them into categories is as normal to me as breathing. So I have never minded doing them, nor look at it as a chore. Same as making milk in the middle of the night.. but that's a question whether it's a chore to tend to my child or not, not about wife. Sorry out of topic a little.
I truly believe that while effort creates feelings, it cannot be used purely as a 'pemangkin' or 'accelerator' to having things happen in a relationship. Because all relationships are to be improved, not declined, and I have to remind myself of that too all the time. If you think that a certain action (domestic chores or just picking up your spouse during a late dinner) is a chore, then either don't even start doing it or if you have to do it, then try to enjoy it. A friend of mine repeated a saying to me, "If you have to do it, might as well do the best of it." This reminds of of learning History lessons during my school times, hahaha...
What if you do it? What if I tell my wife that I'll wash the dishes after every dinner?? Well, on one hand it's a sacrifice of love, on another it's something I don't like doing. What will happen is that one day I'll get fed-up and then I'll just stop doing it, and it will disrupt the harmony of the jigsaw puzzle of marriage that you've already built. If you want to sacrifice putting effort into something you volunteer to do, then make sure it will remain that way for a looong time. Don't volunteer to change a part of your routine just to make your spouse happy, coz' to stop doing it will create unhappiness.
Wish you all the best. Be good in putting effort, know that it's a great weapon. Hello to the dude who drives all the way to Penang just to meet his then girlfriend (now wife). Hope you keep it up. And beware of insincere efforts.
Friday, November 30, 2007
My cousin is very much against me 'layan'-ing them, but I tell him that "It is my rightful duty to ensure that I help spruce up their image and business by noticing any faults in their tele-sales person." It other words, if I have time and I get somewhat disgusted by their introduction, then I'll really layan.
I've written about this before, just to repeat. I dislike the following; i) asking for my full name and then introducing themselves and then introducing the packages WITHOUT even bothering to ask if I have some time. ii) Talk about the benefits and kept going "Isn't that great!", "You save a total of RM50, wow!" and other weird fake-excited remarks. iii) Ending the introduction with "So, what would you like on your card." Wat-deff??! I didn't even say nothin' and they already wanna take my money.
Anyway, if they're friendly enough I say I'm not interested, however this one guy just takes the cake.
Him: bla bla bla.... but sir, just for today only, and today only, I'm throwing in 3 bonus vouchers for you which are bla bla bla...... what would you like to appear on your card?
Me: (I ALWAYS do this to tele-sales person). Can you fax what you have introduced to me to 03-#########? I need to check my recorded conversation with you against the fax for any discrepancies.
Him: Okay, I will call you again tomorrow, sir.
Him: Have you received my fax?
Me: Sorry, I'm too busy to read it. Can you call Friday instead?
Him: Okay, sir.
Him: bla bla... so what do you think?
Me: They are interesting, but since I'm not getting the bonus vouchers anymore, this is not worth it already.
Him: Sir, you will be getting the bonus vouchers. Since I made the phone call to you on Wednesday (he got the day wrong!), the voucher still stands because it's related to you.
Me: But you called me on Tuesday and said that it's the last day. Means there was still bonus vouchers on Wednesday?
Him: No sir, I meant Tuesday. Wednesday no more already. (Stupid lame lie to cover up his own ass.)
Me: My friend just signed up yesterday, how come he said he's getting the bonus vouchers you mentioned? Means it's part of the package already isn't it?
Him: Mmm... I think he has another higher ranked agent who can extend the bonus.
Me: Nevermind then. I cannot do business with a company that has a very questionable integrity. Thank you.
Him: It's really an interesting package, sir. Maybe it's not the time yet for you, I'll call you again in a few months time. (What-deff?! Looks like the company don't have a comeback answer for what I said. He totally ignored my statement.)
Though I was in marketing for property, at least I never go around saying "If you sign up today, you get bla bla bla" crap, coz' when I do say that, it stands. The very next week the rates changed and too bad. There are always white lies in sales, but having made statements like that, it really disgusts me.
I'm waiting for the next phone call after another agent also said "If you sign up today only, you're getting a bonus supplementary card." The thing is, when you ask for them to fax and say you're gonna discuss it with wife, lawyer, etc, it automatically makes them have to call the next day, and that statement risks them.
Evil? I don't think so. I'm training them to be more honest in their white lies. Haha... ya right.
Monday, October 29, 2007
So now, I still game, up to 2 hours per day and as little as 10 minutes a day. I have to suppress my gaming habit. And then there's reading. I've just finished a 800++ pages book on fiction, and I'm 200 pages into the 2nd book of the trilogy, but then it gnaw on me that... hmm... finishing this trilogy will also not lead me anywhere. Therefore, is reading fiction same to gaming?
In my mind, I just try to note the positives and negatives of both activities. Gaming (the kind of game I play at least) involves quite a bit of strategic thinking and not just pure click click click. So I guess it helps in thinking on my toes, as oppose to click click click where people claim it improves hand-to-eye coordination. But then again, it doesn't really help in securing jobs or create income. Online games however, I do notice that if you're social and professional enough to make sincere friends with those you meet online, it does help business (rarely, but it happens). These friends who I met online are also gamers with family and career responsibilities. Not purely teenagers. There are a few fathers, some high-level execs and others, but in my opinion the most advantageous in knowing them is that should you visit their country, most of the time they willingly welcome you to the extend of wanting to meet you at the airport.
Ok, back to topic. Reading, while it improves imagination (how does that help in life improvement?), it helps in sentence structuring and vocabulary. So, while I'm being entertained, subconsciously it helps me be a better writer. And that's the thing.... since I'm reading a lot, I SHOULD use that education to earn some income, as an article writer or even an author (if my imagination is good enough or I remember factual experiences).
So there, just a hanging post this time.... just thinking if reading brings me to the same level as gaming. I think they're of the same level, it's what you do with what you learn and how you're entertained I guess.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Saturday, October 06, 2007
The following are purely my own opinion on life insurance (and other human-related insurance) and what I've taken (with regards to insurance itself) from my own perspective, a logical perspective with superbly limited knowledge on financial dealings on this topic. Insurance to protect purchases and loans (ie car insurance, fire insurance and MRTA) is not included in this post.
My personal view is that Life Insurance is purely to continue supporting those I'm responsible for during the duration that I'm no longer able to sustain an income for these people. They include my parents, my wife and kids. Therefore, I take life insurance so that, should I return to God earlier than expected, there will be money to continue what I could have given them myself if I'm still working.
That being said, when I get approached by insurance agent asking me to get insurance for my wife and kids, here's my thought about it.
Wife: Though I love my wife dearly, I do not think life insurance is needed. Should she return to God earlier than expected, the ones who would actually need additional support I believe would be her parents. I think I can take care of myself and I can take care of my kids. With that in mind, I think that my wife's savings and ASB is able to take care to support her parents.
I then only took insurance for critical illness insurance including a 3-female-killer diseases (a lumpsum payment to be received should she be fated to contract them), whereby these insurance will support the medications and whatever else during her life.
Kids: I'm very uncomfortable when insurance agents ask me to get a RM100k life insurance for my child. Though they claim it's a lot cheaper to begin with (coz' he's not smoking, etc), to go for a RM100k insurance for my own child is like wishing for him to die so that I can take that money. I sincerely will not trade his life for a RM100k. What?! Do I really need a RM100k support should he return to God early??
No, so, the only insurance I took is hospitalisation and medication insurance for him. That is, in this modern time it's quite often that children gets sick and has to be hospitalised. At least the insurance then cover the room cost and some medication costs. Again, the insurance here is during "his life".
Therefore, in a very short summary, I believe that when God calls me to go 'home', I leave money for my kids' education, my wife's future spendings should she wish to retire early, and for my parents for their old age's spending. For others in my family, the most important thing for an insurance is to take care of the unexpected costs during their 'living'.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
This post is dedicated to all work mates in my life. Though there may be those that I've not the chance to properly get to know, I cannot deny that at least a part of their aura of influence have touched my life.
I have been working for more than 7 years already in four different companies (one being on 1-year contract). Though I’ve not worked long enough, I've noticed quite a similarity in all of them.
On the first day of a common employment, everyone you see at the workplace is your colleagues. Then acquaintances start to form, usually due to being in the same vicinity, department or related work matters. Here, I'll take my experience in the latest company I worked in as an example.
The first person you see is usually the HR Manager, who then introduces you to your boss you're working for. Your boss will then get his assistant to introduce you around your department. In this case, the first person I really got acquainted with was the assistant. After that, your first task is given, and in my case was to finish up a proposal with a newly introduced colleague by 5pm the same day. Another acquaintance here.
Fast forward, as the first week go by, you'd have at least 5-10 acquaintances. You would have asked them questions, lunched with them, and casual talk as well. Out of this 5-10 people, sub-consciously the third level of the 'hierarchy of needs' starts kicking in; your social needs and sense of belonging. Psychologically you begin to seek like-minded people, looking for that personality click which brings to another level; friends.
I'm not sure with some of you, but in my experience, within two years, I would have no more than three to five friends from the company. The others will remain pure colleagues or acquaintances. A "friend from workplace", in my definition is that, someone I do not attach the word "ex-colleague" when I mention them. That is, I'd use "Oh, my friend said the same thing last time" rather than "Oh, my ex-colleague said the same thing last time." A friend is someone who has reached the level where you don't associate the company with him/her anymore, and they tend to be someone who's still in contact with you long after either one, or both of you have left the company.
In my experience as well, there'll always be some colleagues who I've not even spoken to at all in two years. I blame that on being introvert. Haha. Anyway, here's the difference between just colleagues and acquaintances. Acquaintances are those you have their mobile phone numbers in your hand phone, but to contact colleagues, you usually call the company line.
The point here, being human, you cannot escape the cycle of friendship, even though you’re in a non-social place. At the same time, being in that non-social place, you would not have enough time or energy to befriend everyone, without disruption to your own productivity. Thus the communication topics will relate around work or sometimes just a chat of opinions about current issues, and hardly are there questions about each other’s life. Lastly, there also will always be those you would recognize the face and sometimes name, when you see them in public, who you would just raise your eyebrow or smile to acknowledge them, but no words would be exchanged.
Such is the complexity of relationships. :D To all my friends (whom I got to know from my workplaces), keep in touch, and wey, bila nak jumpa for makan lagi?! To all my acquaintances, together we'll put the effort to keep in touch, but my sincerest apologies should Time splits us up as pure ex-colleagues again. To all my colleagues and ex-colleagues, good luck in your life and God willing, we'll meet again.
To everyone out there, thank you for being a part of my life's history.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
This may be a repeat from a very old post of mine, but it requires repeat. I noticed back in my school days that in my higher secondary, most of my work doesn't have an "X" anymore. That doesn't mean that I got perfect score, but teachers usually put a "right" on correct answers and leave no signs on the wrong one. I believe to indicate a "wrong" to someone somewhat reduces the person's self-esteem, though he may not notice it. Subconsciously he may think himself stupid for getting something wrong.
This is the repeat... most computer games for children do not state a "wrong". Yet, when they go to Standard One and just about to start learning, they'll start with a lot more "X" than a "right". Computer games are careful that when a child gets something right, he is rewarded, but when he gets a wrong, it states "Sorry. Please try again." It comes to show that every mistake can be forgiven and can be learned from.
Yup, though we have a "Correction" or "Pembetulan" while in school, we're already scarred with that "X". Worst yet, in secondary, most teachers tell us not to bother with "Corrections". It's true, if we can make "Corrections" to learn from our mistakes, we should do it for all the test papers we sat for.
So, in the end, is it really dangerous that we do not teach "wrong" when young? Imagine facing your first "Wrong" at 8 years old, as compared to 3 years old. I think it's better to face it at 3 years, so that you know how to face it when it comes later, while you still have your loved ones around. At 8, in school, you have no one to turn to.
I don't know. Is it wrong to state that someone is wrong, but they can just fix it after acknowledging it? I don't know. This calls for a thesis. Anyone wanna take it? Just do an 6 years study, one group of parents never stating that their child is wrong, but just for them to try again, while another telling them that it's wrong, and it's alright, but let's try again. When they enter Standard One and face their first wrong, how do they take it? And then perhaps extend it to another 3 years and see how they face life after their first "wrong".
Saturday, September 15, 2007
1. A colleague borrowed RM5.20 from you to pay for lunch. Next day he returns only RM5.00 to you but never mention anything about the 20 cents. Do you let it go, or do you ask for it?
2. If just say you have a 5 years old son. Is there a difference in 'education' or 'punishment' you would deal to him if he takes RM5.00 from your drawer compared to him taking 20 cents from it?
For #1 I'd remind him that he borrowed RM5.20, though it sounds like a total child. It's just to remind him in case he actually forgot. Then it's up to him to pay up, or like some people they 'friendly beg' saying "20 cents only lah, no need lar." For #2, it is imperative that my son is educated that the act of stealing is itself wrong, even if it's 1 cent. It may just lead to a more dangerous future if he's not taught.
Personally, to me, an act of theft itself is enough to justify punishment disregarding the actual amount of theft. Of course, there's a huge difference between asking a huge burly man who just stole your RM3,000 against your 30 cents. I won't risk my neck to get back 30 cents. But let's just say that you're totally in control of a punishment, do you actually give a more lenient (however you spell it ok...) punishment just because someone stole 20 cents?
I'm not sure about our law (perhaps I'll get a lawyer friend to comment on this), but does a judge actually say that 20 cents is too ridiculous to have a court hearing and let the criminal go, or does the criminal gets the same amount of jail time as those who've stolen, say, a laptop.
I read a couple of months ago that a thief was jailed 7 years for stealing a handphone from someone who was making a call, just grabbed it from her hand. If someone swiped a 70 cents change from my table while eating at mamak, and I give chase and manage to capture him (and get my 70 cents back, just like the girl gets her handphone back), can I justify that he should also get a 7 years jail?
I'm not sure. Deep down inside I think the act of theft itself is punishable at the same degree no matter the value of amount stolen. This is also disregarding any other crime that is usually involved such as possessing a gun, assault of security guard, etc. Just the pure act of stealing.
KJY, care to put your two cents in?
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Me: You know, ear sh*t smells, the soft plague on the teeth smells, of course our own sh*t smells. How come our nose sh*t don't smell?
Wife: Maybe we're too used to smelling it?
Me: Hmm... could be right. I guess that's why babies cry when they start breathing. The first smell they get is the smell of nose sh*t.
Now it got me thinking again. If your nose sh*t don't smell because you're too used to the smell, would other people's nose sh*t smell bad to you? I don't want to find out, but if anyone would like to conduct that experiment, do tell me the result.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
I was MC on Monday. On Tuesday I came to work. My colleagues believed it's due to short-sightedness but since I am not, I got a little worried. The pain started subsiding Monday evening, but the effect of the headache carried on until yesterday evening.
In a personal panic situation, I find myself grasping for words during my conversation. I'm not too sure if a certain colleague of mine, CT, noticed this problem I had during my conversation with him during lunch and office hours. To me personally, every time it occurs and I have to find another synonym to use, there's just a state of slight panic. Like asking "What's happening to me?!"
Though there's no pin pain, ok, I prefer to use the better word 'prick' which totally described how the pain feels like, but that word "prick" has been mutilated to be of another meaning. Just as a "nice clean soft pussy" brings one meaning to a 5 years old girl and absolutely another meaning to a 30 years old man.
Back to my story, though there's no pin pain anymore, the mental lapse remain. Sometimes I forget what I'm doing. Worst of the lot was looking at my ringing phone and wondering what's it doing lighting up and making noise. At the moment I forgot it's a telephone. Sheer panic. Hehe... but I hope I'm ok now.
This is just purely a diary entry.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
What I'd like to talk today is two famous seas very much mentioned in the Islamic and Christian scriptures. It is said that there exists two seas that is beside each other, but the contents of the seas do not mix with one another. That's what I knew previously, upon careful research, this is the story. Any mistakes/errors are purely a mis-representation of facts from various documentations/reports I read. I try as much to do a proper cut and paste summary from what I've found.
What you see in the photo here are two lakes (which is actually in called a 'sea' from ancient times, but categorically it is still a lake) that is actually connected by River Jordan which goes through Syria, Israel and Jordan. I won't go to the beginning of the river, since there are four difference sources giving water into the river and all gather at Lake Hula, near the border of Syria and Israel (but I don't know which country it really resides in).
Now, the Sea of Galilea (also known as Tiberias Lake) is 213 meters below sea level (2nd lowest lake in the world) and water flows 25km downwards from Hula Lake through River Jordan. It is a freshwater lake, a very popular resort area in Israel, have very good flora and fauna and abundance with fishes.
At the south tip of the lake, the River Jordan continues its journey to the Dead Sea (420 meters below sea level, being the lowest lake in the world). Interestingly, there is no outlet from the Dead Sea.
The Dead Sea, in Palestine, Israel and Jordan has no problem with water spillage due to the high evaporation rate against the very low rainfall. In fact, in these few years, the water level is getting lower as compared to earlier years. It is the second saltiest (11 times as salty as the Mediterranean sea) place in the world where only unique creatures thrives. It's high saline content makes anyone lying down in it floats without any problems, and no floras or faunas, or fishes can live it the waters.
A quick summary on the reason why Dead Sea do not get the same 'life' from River Jordan that Sea of Galilea gets is due to the water movement in the Sea of Galilea. It seems that as the water travel south in Galilea, the vegetation started to be of a saline vegetation, and this issue is growing rapidly northwards. Scientist blames this on the channel that diverted water in 1964, which damaged the eco-system.
I won't delve into a thesis on this story. It's just to give an overview of what I was trying to seek an answer to. Practically just to quench my question on the story of "The Two Seas that don't mix" that I've heard in my childhood days.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
However, just as we reached an alley (between rows of shophouses), someone approached me from behind asking for RM1 to buy rice! Huh?! Anyway, I continued conversation asking in malay "Wanna buy what?", while picking up my son, and doing a quick analysis of his wellbeing. Shoes, very badly tattered. Bottom of the pants totally off coloured, being soiled and never washed. This was a homeless dude, meaning he's got nothing to lose and desperate, that even RM1 is important.
I reached to the back of my pants to pull out my wallet, careful not to flash it (coz' asking for RM1 also should be a ploy to get a wallet in sight and I don't want a risk of him grabbing my wallet and running away) and while the wallet is still at my back, managed to flip out my smallest note (lucky I arranged it that way from left to right). To my dismay, my smallest note that night was RM5. Heck with it. Put back my wallet, take it out and handed it to him and walked away. As he was flinching to get a closer look at his RM1 being green, that's the best time to leave.
Two advices now. Firstly, not to let your child wander to where can be risky to any security threats though you're very familiar with that place. Secondly, learn one-handed tricks. :D
Thursday, August 16, 2007
In my honest opinion, during the break-up event itself, there is no such thing as being immature or childish.
I'm writing this because in the past six months, there has been more than three friends who have faced this event and they are each coping with it in their own way, which I totally respect. However, one or two of them are thinking that they should be stronger.
This is my view and my advice. When you are in this event, and you feel like crying, go and cry. If you want to cry in the showers till your knee buckles from pure disappointment, go ahead. It it totally okay to act upon your emotions and letting it out on your own. This is the time to totally live in the present and relive the past, remembering fond memories that will no longer be repeated.
The future, put it aside and let time heal you. "The sand of time shall reshape the dune." I created that when I wanted to forget someone, but it is useful for all events.
There is a warning however, and that is to never act upon the emotions to create negative consequences. This comes from blaming ownself, being vindictive or even 'trying to get him/her back by being getting their attention'. Cutting oneself on the arm, breaking things, throwing your temper to your close and loved ones, will only affect the future.
If you are the cause of the break-up and you're happy about it, suits you. If you are both victims due to circumstances, just cry it off. There's no reason for negative reactions. If you are the victim of being left behind, the LAST thing you want to do is to suffer for someone who already don't care for you.
If you were to cut yourself, and drink poison (just say) and get yourself hospitalised in hoping that he/she will look you up (which she/he might or not, but it's no more their responsibility to do so), then you are the one looking for trouble. You'll waste money and you'll waste time and you'll waste health.
The best thing to do is cry it off, live as best as you can, cry it off again, live again and wait, cry it off, until TIME heals you. Do not hurt yourself, never ever hurt yourself or the people around you. Yes, you do need someone to show you some attention, since you've lost attention given to you, but do not impose it to them that they should.
Hope all the best.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Two scenarios came up when I was having a discussion on “helping others” which in the end to me ends up “helping the pity-monger” last week. Yes, I have to be crude on calling them pity-monger.
1. Imagine yourself running a marathon with your friend beside you, no reward, no money, just to end a run. You see him trip and fall, but otherwise ok. What you do as a friend is to help him pick himself up so that he can continue the run. What you must not do is to help him up and carry him to the finish line.
2. You and a friend got stranded on a raft in the middle of the ocean. He totally believes that you two won’t be rescued. You’re just praying you will be. In his situation, he jumps off the raft, so that he can end things faster. When the water hits his face, he realizes he’s meeting death, and he gets scared. Being unable to swim, you jumped in after him and pulled him back to the raft. Three hours later, he does the same, and you rescue him. Another three hours later, he does the same. The question here is; when do you stop rescuing him and let him die?
I’ll be blunt. In scenario 2, after I try talking sense into him at least two-three times and I myself get exhausted from the heat, I won’t go in anymore. Not worth risking my life to save someone who wants to end it over and over again. Unless I have a rope, I’ll just tie him to the raft to make him totally immobile.
Basically, scenario 2 came up because my friend gets a nearly-daily phone call from a pity-monger. Given up on being happy, she constantly calls him to whine about being unhappy. He will go through all means to make her happy (at the start) and then she feels better, and then days later, rinse and repeat. At times, coz’ he has his own sets of problems and own life to live, he just give her a piece of his mind, but still he feels as if he’s responsible for her. So, he’s asking how to go about this? This IS exactly the same scenario 2, whether you like it or not.
In our lives, we are conditioned to be on one side of many attitudes. Just as an example is ;being prompt (good), but dishonest (bad). Some are stubborn at changing for the better (bad) but never fails to deliver whatever tasks is given (good). Diligent but lazy. Passionate but hostile. With tons of different virtues, we all do not belong to the good ones, there always will be some bad ones. Nothing wrong with that, however…
Pity-mongering is one of the worst diseases. It comes from stubbornness to change. Problem is, it is a human basic need under the Pyramid of Hierarchy of Needs. It starts as a baby/toddler to “get attention” from parents. I have to admit, being praised for studies, for intelligence, career path, from friends of parents is something to be happy about. You bask in the warmth of the praise. Sadly, some of us cannot accept that this will end. When this ended for me, it was an awakening; feeling of lost but freedom. It’s like suddenly asking yourself “Were the things I do in the past purely to satisfy my need for attention?”
Pity-mongers cannot accept the lost of attention. When life goes down on them, they seek friends. The more a friend shows attention and care to their situation, the more they need this friend. Whenever the ‘good juice’ goes low, they call their friend to life their spirits up. The worst part of this is, they call with the SAME problem, but expecting DIFFERENT advices/methods of cheering up. I learned back in 1991, from Lawrence Walter Ng’s seminar, that “Stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results”.
Pity-mongers have not grown up. They expect to be enveloped by love and care, and be shielded from all hostilities and evil. The world is NOT like that. LIFE itself is a test, and amazingly, people actually failed at living. What’s funny is that the ones who fails at living are those born totally in a comfortable or good situation; not born in a country at war, in famine, extreme hostile conditions or even without parents.
How you face pity-mongers is up to you, but if you do not have any responsibility for their life (ie. not a nurse to a patient, not a psychiatrist to a mental patient), then you do not need to make sure their life is good. Imagine this scene. Peter finds life totally sucks and called John daily for advice. John being so mild-mannered gets bullied by Peter at least two hours daily to cheer him up finally won a lottery ticket after 5 years. Peter never called John again. John in fact, wasted 152 days of his life on Peter. Yes, John in compassionate, but he gave Peter fish everyday instead of teaching Peter how to fish. Your ONLY responsibility towards pity-mongers is to educate them enough for them to move on, if they refuse to move on, leave it be. Sorry, but just leave it be.
In my personal opinion, pity-mongers have one failed issue in their life. Once any human being started working, only three areas affect their lives; finance, health and relationship. Pity-mongers failed in relationship by failing to understand what relationship is (not purely on husband/wife or girlfriend/boyfriend, but also employee/employer, master/pet or worst you/stranger. If your life is affected negatively by a stranger, that does not constitute to you losing yours and your loved-one’s life or mental health, please see me. I will smack your face so hard you will realize what stupidity you got yourself into.
Example of you/stranger that you should not bother: - i) Being honked at and given a finger while on the road (and other road-related anger that doesn’t damage your car or make you late). ii) Being laughed at for asking a question a person thinks is stupid. iii) Mistreated in public by people who thinks they have authority. Etc etc etc. If the only effect from the above is a bruised ego, and you spend more than two hours being affected by it, go look yourself in the mirror and do a Chris Rock’s “F*** YOU.” Ego is not an ingredient to happiness though many believe otherwise.
I will write another pity-mongering related post some time on “Unconditional Love” which I believe is a double-edged sword, a gift and a boon.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Doctor Sivaji, a world-reowned psychiatrist received the following letter from Superman.
My name is Superman, but my real earth name is Clark Kent. If you think that my name is Christopher Reeves, Dean Cain or Brandon Routh, please refrain from reading further, as this proves that you're more in need of psychiatric help than me.
I have a huge problem. While the general public are in awe at what I can do, some being jealous and some even want me killed, I'm actually very cursed. What I'm about to tell you will make you laugh your head off at me because you'll finally notice my greatest flaw, and then you won't even feel like having the powers I have. No, it has nothing to do with my underwear. It's a Versace thank you, and I'm proud to show it off, but at the end of my letter, please let me know if I should keep my eyes or have them removed.
Doctor, I'm dirty. No, not in the porn kinda way. But I'm not hygienic, must less hygienic than the rest of the world. Do you know how difficult it is to fly at the speed or sound, having seeing all the micro-organisms splatting against my face? All the ameobas, paramecium, etc having their insides splat against my face? At the end of every journey, there's like millions or them, some dead and some moving. It is very disgusting to be able to see the millions squirming on my cheek, my nose. Sigh... that's why whenever I fly, my lips are tight. You will never see a picture of me flying smiling showing my teeth.
That's not the worst thing. Toilets! When I leave toilets, they are cleaner than when any cleaners finished with their cleaning activities. Though the previous sentence sounds bad with three "clean" words, I'm serious!! My super nose sucks each and every bacterias and viruses everytime I breath in. Imagine while gelling my small little 'S' hair looking into the mirror, I see multitudes of spores and tiny little things flying out of the urinals and into my nose. I've X-Rayed my body using my supervision and you don't want to know what's in there. Why do you think you don't really see pictures of me eating as well! I'm always full!
Please help me.
Friday, August 03, 2007
The trees around the valley started swaying, in tune with the dry and crisp wind enveloping the trunks as is to give a slight hug before moving along to the next tree. The sun, though shining brightly with yellow hues has not contributed heat to the grounds, confirming that the day was still in the morn. A blue jay has just landed on a tree branch, above a small hilltop overlooking the valley. Just below, it spotted two figures, in motion inching closer as time passes. 'They are heading in this direction', the bird thought, chirped and flew away.
"Are you okay carrying that?", asked a feminine voice, only to be replied harshly by a masculine tone, "Of course, what do you expect?!" The girl, freckled-faced in her blonde ponytail just rolled her eyes. Jillian Smith was always fond of her clumsy brother, however, she feels that he doesn't give her credit to what she can do. 'He still treats me like a little kid, unable to be independent', she yells at herself inside. She looked up only to notice a blue bird fly away into the sky, and then smiling, she looked at her sibling to see if he noticed.
The two siblings seems to take masculine and feminity to the extreme end. One is totally into manly sports, such as american football, basketball and ice hockey, his sister is into ballet and gymnastics. His room is painted blue while hers is pink. Seems so much like a fairy-tale but this has been their life since their parents strictly brought them up in proper gender enviroment the moment they found out their neighbour's son turned tranvestite.
'This is not heavy at all, but it will be. Why is she making such a fuss over it? Is she afraid that I'll let her carry it once it gets heavy??', Jackson spoked to himself. Having excelled at all the sports he gets involved in, he is only aloof during competitions. Outside of his games, school mates find him very friendly and helpful. Girls adore him, but only to ride on his fame at school, nothing more. Like his sister, he too has freckles on his face and wears spectacle during class. "I will only wear this specs in class!", he told his mother when he first got himself a pair. "You'll be clumsy without it! You know how difficult it is for you to even see the sidewalk!", his mother snapped back.
Today, Jackson did not have his spectacles on, just in case. He would like to look his best to his classmates if he chanced upon them. He was just thinking of the girl he adored when his sister shouted,"Jackson! You're swaying off the road to the grass." He collected himself upon noticing that his shoes started to get soiled by the wet grass, still not affected by the sun. "Ah crap", he cussed at himself, "Let's just hasten our steps."
In just a few seconds they reached the plateua of the hill. "Here's the water bucket", Jackson shouted. "What?! Why me? I knew you were going to do this to me!", fussed his sibling, as she continued ,"Just get it yourself! I'm just tagging along to make sure you're ok." With that Jackson moved towards the wooden circle on the ground at tossed the bucket into it.
Moments later he pulled up the bucket, with water filled to the brim. "Alrighty then, let's head on home", hollered Jackson.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
It's sad to note that a positive gratification takes a lot longer time as compared to a negative gratification, err... no such thing as negative gratitude, but I hope you get what I'm trying to say. Simply put, a simple example of a quick negative "gratitude" is by slapping a complete stranger in the streets. The best example would be trust, which everyone knows that it takes many months to build trusts but one short-term event to destroy it. For real-estate point of view, it takes two years to build a condo, and only a week to level it to empty grounds.
Okay, enough of examples. I constantly need to remind myself that to reduce weight, I need to exercise regularly. I've failed many times. It's because of that "instant gratification" that I'm after. Two weeks of exercise and stepping on the scale to see some kind of results just doesn't cut it lor... so what happens? Demotivation, then stop exercising until I watch Rocky 2 again. Ohh.. must drink 6 raw eggs. That's where my mistake is, and then the whole process starts again.
I've always believe, ok, not always, but as of 2005, I started to believe that it takes at least 4 years of constantly doing something positive to finally achieve a result that you want, and then a bonus will also come in without you really asking for it. Why 4 years??? It's just a believe, just because I see that AirAsia did it from scratch and reach a crazy milestone in 4 years. So, where does this put me in terms of exercising? (note: this is purely just ONE part of me that I want to change, not really a desperate one as compared to finance, etc).
First of all, if I can put into discipline a routine of exercising at the same time with increased intensity, and be motivated for 6 months, something good will already come out from there. Putting another 3 1/2 years, I'm sure from a goal of "exercise to lose weight and keep fit", the bonus will jump in. Man, I can be a runner. Joining marathons after marathons trying to beat my old times. That's a boost to the personal ego as well! Sigh, men and egos. Eat your heart out, 4-years-ago dude.
Now if only we all (including myself) can just start something constantly for four years. It may be a long time, but really, it's not that long when you see one year passes by and hit yourself in the head saying "If only I had one year experience on bla bla bla....". Let's just kill the "If only" and really start something.
Good luck to all of you, and myself too.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
To my personal opinion, it is a very good economic move by hypermarkets to actually make a loss of about RM5 per book just so that people will swarm the outlets. They will in the end purchase other products of the hypermarket which will easily set-off the 'loss' from selling the book.
Legally, it's totally sound. Ethically, no. Not to me at least. But ethics goes to the back of the alley when it comes to profiting in most business. Unless it affects the business in the future, they will go all out on getting profits at the cost of ethics. In the current case, the hypermarkets have just made good friends with Harry Potter fans in Malaysia, and made enemies with bookshop owners.
However, being in Malaysian and its culture, there will be no public protest or even placards or revenge from the bookshop owners. I bet the CEO of Popular, or Times, or even MPH would just visit Tesco or Carrefour for their next groceries shopping within a week.
However, let's look at the strong capacity of hypermarkets. They are allowed to sell ANYTHING, this means that when one single product suddenly become soooo hot, they can just throw it into the promotions budget and still get a profit from any of the "single product" purchasers' visits.
Should Star Wars suddenly come out with a compendium of all 6 shows with extra footage and it comes hot, hypermarket would just slash about 10% to 20% from distributors price and make a loss which eventually would make good earnings. Heck, just a month ago even motorcycle was sold in the hypermarket competing against motorcycle shops out there.
Sigh, the force is strong in hypermarkets.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Happenings throughout the day will decrease or increase it, and actually it increases more than it decreases from these events/happenings. Total idle time will actually decrease it slowly.
As long as it hits 90% by Friday morning, the countdown will begin.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
After looking through three different models (out of about 31 models), a pop-up appeared asking if I would like to have a live chat with a representative to help me out. I clicked yes. The downside is the message below while waiting...
We are experiencing a high volume of chats currently. All representatives are currently assisting other customers. We apologize for any inconvenience. You are number 1 in a queue of 1. Thank you for your patience.
...which came, like, several times. After about 10 minutes or so (I wasn't waiting of course, since the window will flash when someone replies), the chat continued. I'll list my chat session to show the capability of their live chat session to judge for yourself. They even waited for me for several minutes as I was in the loo. :D And I even checked whether I'm talking to a real live person or not. Hehe...
You are connected with HP's Pre-Sales Consulting Chat Service. My name is Lilly. How may I help you today?
Lilly: Hello and welcome. How may I assist you today?
Lilly: Are you with me?
Lilly: Still with me?
Lilly: I have not heard from you for a few minutes. Do you still need me to keep this chat conversation open for you?
you: Hi, I won't take too much of your time. It's difficult that the website don't have a search function to shortlist products. I'm looking for a notebook with Graphic Card at least Geforce 8600M GT or Quadro FX Go 1400 or Radeon X1700/X800XT.
you: Size is not of importanct
Lilly: Glad to help you today
Lilly: May I ask the country you are chatting from?
Lilly: Thanks for the information
Lilly: Please hold on for a moment while I check that up for you.
you: Ok. Thanks. Am I talking to a live person or an artificial intelligence?
Lilly: I'm a live person :)
you: Okay, thank you. I'll wait. Just that your replies seem scripted just now.
Lilly: Will be back with the information required.
Lilly: I'm back....
Lilly: Thanks much for waiting
you: No problem.
Lilly: You can look at the
Lilly: HP Compaq nw9440 Mobile Workstation
Lilly: HP Compaq 8710w Mobile Workstation
you: Can I know which is the cheapest amongst them?
you: Are you able to look that up?
Lilly: These are the models that come with NVIDIA Quadro FX 1600M card
Lilly: Let me check on that for you
you: Quadro FX 1600M has higher stats than those I've listed. Thanks for the list. I'll wait for your answer on the price.
Lilly: Thanks much for waiting online
Lilly: The HP Compaq 8710w Mobile Workstation- Models are a bit cheaper than the nw9440 work station models
you: Ok. That's about as much as I need to know. Thanks a lot, Lilly. You made my search simpler.
Lilly: You're most welcome
Lilly: It was a pleasure assisting you.
Lilly: Bye & take care.
It's good that websites have such a proactive assistance to help users browsing their sites.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Now, while it may seem to be good that I'm lowering debt and increasing investment, the most unhealthy thing is that I totally let go of the 'days' that I'm going through. It may seem nice to think about "12-months pay totals to bla bla, that's good, and furthermore there's increment and bonus", but thinking one year ahead in financial terms, we totally forgot that it also adds a year to our age.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that my days are spent uselessly. Not at all, my weekends are great, and my home time is very very good. But my career hours is totally useless coz' I'm below the "average mood" level at all times since 1st June this year. If this crappy mindset of "looking ahead to better times by earning what I'm earning but being unhappy at work" sets in properly, I'll look behind one day and realise I've lose 5 years of life being rather unhappy 8 hours a work-day. That's BAD!
So, I'm totally ready to release that 8 unhappy hours per day for lesser earning power, but at least my health will be good. At least then looking back 5 years from now, I can see that my 5 years during that 8 hours are healthy. Though I'll live up to my destined 150 years old :D, 5 years is still a lot. That's 3.33 percent of my life being unhealthy during daytimes. So, well, it's time to reset.
Timing has to be perfect though, because once the clock starts, by doing my "Give N Go" letter, I have 3 months of "no leave allowed". Hari Raya is on the 13th-14th Oct, which means it's not easy to take leave during that time while being in the notice period. And also, should a nice building suddenly turns up for me to take care, it's too late.
Anyway, intuition always lead you to the correct direction. Will update again on "Give N Go".
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Is it 9:30pm. I didn't go to school today. I have very high fever whole day and now still lying down writing this. Yesterday I thought my brother wanted to wake me up after I sleep to tell me a secret, but I was wrong. No actually I was right, but something is wrong.
Right before I went to bed, my brother came in and say he's tired and he's going to bed already. Diary, I share a room with my brother. His bed is at one side of the wall and I'm on the other side, so when I turn to my right, I can see him sleeping on his bed. We divide our room with invisible line in the middle of the room to put our things. The room door is at his side of the room, about one meter from feet side of the bed, but facing the wall to my left and not facing his feet when he sleeping.
Anyway, I think after midnight he woke me up. "Victor... pssst.... Victor" he said, so I woke up still groggy. Even the room lights he didn't turn on. So while I still lie down looking at him bend down to talk to me, he tell me not to tell anyone what he going to tell me. He said, if I can remember clearly is "Victor, just remember that when it's suppose to be red, it is actually green." When I ask why he talking nonsense, he repeat again the same thing. I think he must be crazy so I just say "Ok ok, that's all? I want to sleep already." Then he open the door and went out.
I shout at him saying "Hey, where you going?" when the door closed. So, I jumped out of bed to open the door to ask him where he going to late at night. But when I open the door, my brother said "What are you doing!? Sleep-walking ah?" and when I look at his voice direction, he was in his bed. So I ask him how come he go out and come back so fast and so quiet? And he said I'm crazy, or maybe have weird dream, because he's been sleeping all the time.
So I scream running to Papa's room, but no one was in. I remembered, maybe Papa not home yet so I went to living room see Mama just wake up hearing my scream. I ask her if she got see my brother come out of room, but she say no. But she did ask why she hear me open and close door and then few seconds later open again.
After that Mama told me I fainted and in the morning when I woke up I was at hospital, Papa just only got me medicine for high fever. I wake up wrong time also, because right after that doctor inject me saying that it's for my fever. Papa and Mama ask me why I fainted, but when I want to talk about it, I find I got no voice.
Until now my voice not yet return and everytime I want to write message to them saying what's wrong, I remember what happened and I just cannot write to Mama. What if Mama say it's just a dream and then I get more angry and sad she don't believe. Mama just about 10 minute ago say good night to me, Papa not home yet still and my brother sleeping over his friend house tonight because tomorrow is weekend.
I really hope it's nightmare and I don't get it again. I want to sleep at living room with Mama but I think I just sleep here with door open. I hope I can sleep, diary.
Victor - 13th July 2007
Secondly, I'll do a quick review on GSC Cinemas. The reason I managed to catch the show at 11:45pm, on Friday the 13th July 2007 is coz' GSC's website allows me to choose the showtime, where to sit and then pay for my ticket upfront. I reached the cinema at 11:50pm, gave the number to the ticket guy, grabbed the ticket (already paid for) and head to the cinema. No queues, no hassle.
Now for a non-spoiler review with one photo (which would not really spoil it anyway).
The show is darker than previous movies, which I like. Special effects are a lot more smooth this time, very smooth in fact, really very smooth. One very good example is that teleportation through a fireplace thingy which will come up quite a few times in the movie.
Videography is much improved, with cameras capturing panoramic view of earth and sky in one scene, another scene of a neighbourhood (being able to see the road and houses aligned at both sides of the road) and very good camera movement ala similar to running down Saruman's tower in LOTR from the rooftop to the ground as well as cameras reversing from outdoor to indoor through window panes like Panic Room.
As mentioned in interviews, no Quiddich (I don't care how it's spelled) this time around. Less character developments on the 'naughty' boys, but other characters' development went very well such as that of Neville.
I have to complain that two areas of the movies are left hanging, which you will notice by the end of the movie. They involve 'wrong judgment of person' and 'arrow in the arm'.
Superb acting by Alan Rickman (as Snape) as always in all four previous movies as well. His comments are to die for "Getting sentimental, are we?" and "I could vomit." Another superb acting by newcomer Evanna Lynch (as Luna Lovegood). Others actings are just as expected such as Helena Bonham Carter is as good as is expected of her. :D
Lastly, the best scene in the movie, if I could freeze frame, is when they're in the place as in the photo below. However, in this specific freeze frame (that I find really nice), is when the camera gets a shot of all of them with Luna near left-centre looking over her shoulder while others are looking at what's behind her. Nice lighting, nice camera movement and timing in capturing that 3 seconds shot.
That's all. In summary, not a disappointment at all for a grown-up to catch this movie. The duration I suspect is about 2 hours, because while the movie started a little late, I got into my car at 2:15am. Do watch.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
It is 9:30pm. Papa came home early today at 6:00pm. I was very happy that I took my test paper that he haven't see yet and showed to him. He patted my head saying that I'm very clever, then he went into his room. But then after dinner, he went out again and now not home yet. I think he really trying to get more money for we all.
At school my friend again ask me for money. I tell him I don't have money, and even if I have money I won't lend him until he give me back my money. He say I'm lying that I have no money, but I really didn't bring any money today because Mama made me my lunch. This morning she woke up early to make me nasi goreng. Then he told me to better bring money tomorrow. If he ask again tomorrow I'm telling teacher. I really starting to be scared of him now.
At dinner I reminded them that we are going out for my birthday present this weekend. Papa promised that we will surely get it this weekend. I hope so. I also told them that there is a boy in my class who like to bully people ask for money for lunch. Papa ask me if I got bullied, but I tell him no. I don't want Papa to get angry with me for lending money in the first place.
My older brother is going to tell me a secret later. When I lie down just now, got paper under my pillow saying "After midnight I'll wake you up, I need to speak to you. Shh... don't tell anybody about this." I wonder why it's so important I must go sleep first then only he's going to wake me up to tell me secret.Did he do something wrong or what? I don't want to get involved if he ask me to handle his problem.
Good night, diary. I tell you tomorrow what my brother going to tell me.
Victor - 12th July 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Now is already 10:16pm. I'm going to sleep already but first I want to talk about what happened today.
Actually, diary, I'm very sad. This morning Papa didn't say anything about my test paper. Maybe he didn't see it last night and this morning so I ask Papa if there is anything nice in the fridge. He went to the fridge, open it and then he say nothing interesting inside. Then he said he's late for work and straight away went to the door. Mama just look at him.
At school I ask my friend back for my money, but he say he don't know what I talking about. I said I lend him 5 ringgit yesterday he say "Where got?". So I told teacher that he don't want to return my money. So when teacher ask him whether he got borrow my money, he say no, and then teacher look at me say next time I don't lend money to anyone. I don't understand why teacher didn't ask him to return my money. I'm so sad. I'm not friending him anymore.
At lunch he come to me again say he want to borrow money but I tell him no, and then he told me that tomorrow he return 10 ringgit instead. But I'm smart now, I tell him tomorrow he surely will say that I didn't borrow him money. He got angry and push me hard to the wall and tell me next time I better be careful. Why he acting like that? His mother didn't give him enough money to eat?
Three more days to going out for my birthday present. So happy I can't wait. Papa is not home yet, again. Mama is going to wait for Papa at the couch again in front of tv tonight. Sometime I don't know why Mama must sleep there. The bed is always more cozy. Anyway, good night diary. I hope tomorrow is good day for me. Today is bad day.
Victor - 11th July 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
It is 10:11pm. When I told Mrs Lim that I start writing in the diary she gave me already, she said I should write what time it is when I write. So now I include the time now in my diary.
My test this morning was very good, I got an A+! Teacher gave me three gold star stickers on my test paper I was so proud I brought it home to show papa and mama. I know they will be proud of me. When mama saw it, she say I did a good job. But I waited for papa until 8pm he still haven't come home. Then mama said to eat dinner first, no need to wait for him because he's busy tonight. I eat a lot because very very hungry.
Now I'm going to sleep already, and my test paper I put at the fridge. I hope papa see it when he comes home later. I don't understand why he must always work so late. At least I see him a lot on weekend. Today Tuesday already, can't wait to weekend to get my birthday present.
Oh, one more thing, diary. Today I didn't have lunch, because my class mate ask to borrow five ringgit from me because he forgot his lunch money. I say can only lend him two ringgit, but he say he's very hungry. I must remember to ask him back for money tomorrow.
Victor - 10th July 2007
Monday, July 09, 2007
I'm so happy my teacher gave you to me as a present. I think eventhough it's late because it's already July, at least I now have my own diary. What to write first, hmm? I think I introduce myself to you so that you know it's me whenever I write in you.
My name is Victor Ng. I'm now evelen years old in Standard 5. My birthday was last week Tuesday, but I didn't get any present yet. Papa wished me only on Wednesday morning, he said he was too busy to notice the date. Mama wished me on Tuesday evening, but she say she not yet buy my present, and promise to get one during weekend. But during the weekend, they went out to wedding sand didn't take me out. But they promise me they will get my present next weekend. I mean, this weekend.
I have one older brother and one younger sister. My brother is in Form 2 and my sister in Standard 3. Both of them also forgot my birthday but I forgot their birthday too, so it's fair and square. I think that's all I write in you today, I need to study for tomorrow morning test. I will write more tomorrow.
Thank you for coming to my life, diary. And thank you Mrs Lim.
Victor - 9th July 2007
Thursday, July 05, 2007
1. What knowledge have I acquired today?
2. What temptations have I resisted today?
Question 1 is quite standard. My wife knows that I stress on learning something new everyday, even a single english word with its meaning and usage is considered knowledge.
Question 2 is interesting. When I browse through the memories of the day, yes, there have been tons of small and huge temptations that comes into your life. Three things that jumps in first in your decision making tree are common sense, moral values/principles and the general effect on you.
It's really sad that the word "Temptation" is generally on a negative vibe. "I'm tempted to eat that creamy cake." "I'm tempted to punch you in the face." These are more often used than "I'm tempted to open a business than working 9-5." And you will never hear anyone waking up in the morning saying "I'm tempted to utilise my entire working hours being 100% effecient." Eeee...
Most of the time, the three factors above would already have decided to stop a temptation, fialing which, a final decision making factor comes in; "lust/passion/want versus impact/consequence", or easier to put it, emotion vs logic, 'heart' vs brain. I know when it comes to food, emotion kick it rather strongly for me! That mayonaisse looks real good, though it's bad for health, I just have to have it!
How about other temptations? If I were to get a 'gift' by choosing one contractor over another, I know the consequence is zero (hardly get caught) but principle will kick it (is the money clean?). If I decide to finish watching a morning show and be late for work (general effect on me, because it's not my principle "to be early to work"), I might face consequence when my boss looks for me. All the four factors in going resisting temptation are inter-twined.
Common sense flies out the window during a rage. If I punch that idiot, I'll be questioned by the police, and a lot of hassle will start, but it's my principle that anyone who insults my family to my face, they will answer for it. Principle flies out the window when emotions/curiousity gets too strong. And as many people have different sets of principles, there are many different sets of opinion whether something is a temptation or just a norm.
Back to the main post, what temptations did I face in the latest waking 18 hours of my life? There's food. There's browsing internet/laze around vs doing work. There's tv/computer vs playing with my son. There are tons, in fact, and we face it over and over again, day in and day out.
But yes, I seriously believe is it good to question oneself that question before bed, because it reinforces decisions made against that temptations into principles, and the temptation will eventually cease to exist. Just like smoking, a norm to some, a temptation to others, and just like a piece of pebble at the roadside (totally no interest) to me. Though I've tried it due to curiousity (temptation ain't it?), I'm just lucky it never end up a daily temptation.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Old habits die hard I guess, she only gave me ONE to take over. To me it's fine, taking over one is not so bad, and so I did, processing all the analysis into proper context in the papers. After two weeks, what really stumped me was the request that "Can you print what you have done?". That was an awkward request, we have a shared folder for her to just check on my work and add in whatever is necessary.
Anyhoo, I printed the 32 pages of work which I handed to her. As expected, due to her busy schedule, she took three working days before coming back to me with her comments. I was expecting a lot of suggestions to improve on the writings or research, or some things to strengthen the context. However, what came back was only 30% suggestion, and 70% sentence construction therapy?! Writing is like cooking, no two cooks are alike in their ways of cooking or presentation, and no two writers express information the same way, albeit it being professional. Two lawyers writing a report on the same matter will have the sentence structure totally different, but having the same information relayed.
Now, since my sentences are bungled to sound the way she wants it to sound, I might as well just bring myself back down to a research assistant and leave all the writings to her. As bold and aloof as I may sound, I really do not belong at research assistant level as I know my competency in delivering this work. Even my CEO do not change my sentencing when I wrote a monthly 2,000 words report to the Landlord of the previous building I was taking care of.
So, well, here we have someone who I was during my college days. Refusal to have a 'different' style of a report which will convey the same professional information. Exactly the way I changed my team mates codings and indentations to be of my style during my computer project days.
What goes around comes around?? I don't know, but it's really tasteless now. Not only do I need to analyse information, but I now have to write sentences according to her style. I can impersonate the actions of at least two colleagues in my office, but to impersonate a writing style is something I cannot do unless I know the person very well.
While I'm an avid Hitz.FM listener in the morning, after 10:00am whenever I'm driving, I'll tune in to Hot.FM. Basically, since I'm more prone to enjoy music of the last 80's to mid 90's, that's where I can get to listen to them. While Light N' Easy do play music from that era (wrong word, "from that timespan"), I do wanna listen to rock-and-roll type of music too.
One song came up, "A Whole New World" from Aladdin's soundtrack. Threw me back to my Form 3 year. Music is a core subject in my weekly timetable during the first three years of secondary school, however, it's just because the principal asks it to be so, but there wasn't really any teachings of playing musical instruments and the likes. It's purely just learning of notes, lyrics to some good songs, and err.... sing.
My Form 3 "music exam" takes the cake. We are to choose one out of several songs to sing, and we're to enter the music room in fours, luckily it was an all male quadruplets or all female quadruplets at a time. And yes, that was the song I chose. So, the music teacher will start playing the melody on the piano and I'm suppose to give my best rendition of "A Whole New World". Sigh.....
My grade at the end of the day was a miserable 'C'. :D Comes to show I'll never go far in any music competition or those AF kinda reality show. I shoulda choose something that don't need melody like Rockafeller Skank's "Right about now, the funk soul brother, check it out now, the funk so brother."
Short post, just to keep in record. :) No pun intended.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
I feel the need to voice out, at least write out the pressures and stress I faced working this job. It’s been 12 years since I’m involved in this, and 8 years since I last had my real name called. Now it seems so foreign to me, as if whoever I was, was actually a close friend I once had.
I work for a company that has no name as well, only one person reporting and telling me what to do. I’m trained in military tactics and arts, under the commandos division. I have just finished by latest mission last night, and I head home and wept all night. It’s something I can’t bear doing anymore, and something I cannot stop. My real identity stated me as dead, and I can no longer come back to society.
My mission was to rescue a man, from a family who held him hostage. I have been watching the wooden shack for a week, making sure that I know each and every person that comes in contact with them. As with most kidnap cases, the real entity behind it will entrust the victim to someone else for at minimum a month, to a maximum of three months until the news died down.
I saw two men, a woman and a little boy, about the age of three besides the victim. I knew I had to kill them all, and I got sick to the stomach again which affected my movement. Approaching the shack I got careless stepping on a branch. Then the commotion started. I heard a man’s voice calling out to have the victim moved to a room. Then sounds gunshots firing out of the windows and shouts of warning commenced. It was dark and they had no idea where I really am.
A few minutes later, I managed to inch myself into one window of the shack. I knew they had all gathered in a bedroom knowing that they failed to find me. Their strategy is just to wait for me, and using the victim as leverage to have me flee. Strangely enough, moving along a short corridor, the door to the bedroom was ajar. Tossing a mirror sphere nearby the entrance, I managed to glimpse everyone’s location before the sphere shattered by a bullet released towards it.
It is a very simple mission. Just a lunge to the floor at the door and release my shots at the downbeat of the instance. I tossed my soft-padded voiced timer across to the other side of the corridor, careful to ensure it went over the entrance of the door. Five seconds to react. Two seconds after a gruff voice shouted a warning, I lunge myself towards the entrance before the voice could finish the sentence.
True enough, they are not trained. In that split second I could see them looking at each other acknowledging the presence of another rescuer. Two bullets was released into the skulls of the men, another shot released to the heart of the woman few moments later. I got up, went into the room, and saw the child looking terrified at me.
The victim thanked me, and proceeded to leave, but my mission is not finished. I was looking at the child when he said “That’s only a child, let’s go.” “No, he will talk. He’s old enough to know” and with that, I grabbed for the child and a pillow, and I smothered his face with it. The victim was in shock but he did nothing except to watch in disbelief. While the child was struggling, all I could do was to gently hush him. Just a whisper of “shh… shh… it’ll be fine.” This is the seventh time I’ve done this to an innocent being. Tears never fail to blind me each and every time. When the body got limp, I placed it on the bed and cried myself in a corner. It gets harder always.
I got the victim out of the area, back to the safety of the people I work with and left. I think this is enough. I’ve cleared out my home, wiped clean every inch of it and incinerated every item I’ve used. The boat which I manage to steal from the docks will take me out to sea, and with this weight tied around my legs, I can be sure that my body cannot be found. I will not be forgiven in my after-life.
Monday, June 18, 2007
I've only been to say, umm... let's see.... this was purely in the past, there was Bali, and then there was Heaven, and another one I can't remember, which would be in the category of discos. Pubs I've been to quite a little bit! But I guess it's less than 20 in all, yuppers, totally a nerd when compared to regular pub goers. Since I do not dance and I do not drink, the only thing, actually the only two things I can do is for the eye-candy and foosball/pool.
Still, I'd feel out of place being in a pub, because that's where inhibitions tend to go away. Weird characters jump out once they're a little high, and stop being 'closed'. This is when you see people who cries and tell sob stories (I know of one boss in my ex-company that do this every single time), who just dance until he/she's tired, who just talk and yak and yak and yak, and some who just sits down there looking about as if he/she drops the contact lens. Whatever it is, it's still another 'out' from normal everyday living.
Seriously, most of the people I ask about why they go clubbing or pubs is to i. Socialise ii. Have a great time and iii. Release stress. I'm a gamer, I release stress by gaming. :P It's a hell lot cheaper. Anyway, it's all about any of the three above, or a combination of them. It's just to laugh out loud with friends, to enjoy the moment. To some it's about looking for someone with the same objective, and allows the objective to take place somewhere private. To some others, it's just to be a 'turtle', keeping the soul deeper into the body and just let loose.
All the above helps I guess since they can continue doing it on and on, but on a daily basis is what I seriously don't understand. But hey, it's the life some people choose.... still I'm not a night person, well, maybe a 2am mamak person once in a while, but I really cannot belong in any pubs/clubs with friends who drinks and just talk the night away.
I do not enjoy being not fully in control of my body, and I definitely do not enjoy talking to the alter-ego (or ego-less) friend who would not talk about what they would should they be totally sober. Even the conversation would be forgotten, so thank you, I will go if there's a good band playing or just to be 'alone' by myself thinking about life, and the latter I can do quite often somewhere else.
A short post for a somewhat innocent kind of night activity.