I've always agreed to the rule "Complete anything you start", but more to the definition of "End whatever you start, or terminate it if you can't end it." However, easier said than done.
True, there are some that doesn't need to end. Just like a certain fantasy books I have been following and leaving to read the final book three years later because I don't want the fantasy to end. Don't want the feeling of watching the final minutes of Lord of the Rings, quite sad that the journey finally end for us fans.
Anywayyy... let's call this guy friend of mine as "Boy" and my good girl friend as "Girl". Some of you know who they are, so here, I'm also taking the opportunity to tell you why I did what I did, because I know (yes, arrogantly) what happened between the two of them more than anyone of us.
13 years ago, Boy and Girl got into a relationship when Boy was here for a whole year due to his parents working here. Then Boy left here, asking me to take care of Girl while he's away, which brings me close to Girl and we've been good friends, even now 13 years on. Boy however, failed to contact Girl and Girl has no way to contact Boy.
Two years after that, Boy contacted me, asked about Girl. He seems to still care for Girl though I don't know why Boy didn't try contacting her. So, I gave Boy Girl's contact number after telling Girl that her past wants to contact her. Later I found out Girl broke down on the phone when Boy contacted her. Guess feelings are still strong after 2 years apart. No more news since then. I never brought it up anyway.
Then in 2004 (8 years later) Boy contacted me, asking how I'm doing, etc... and still asked about Girl. I never told Girl he called because he has Girl's contact number and he can contact her if he wants, and I'm not sure if they did stay in contact after that.
Two weeks ago, Boy contacted me saying he's coming to Malaysia, and again asked about Girl. As I knew Girl got married already, I told Boy, and I told him that her number is only given to him if she allows it. So I called Girl, stating that Boy is coming and wondering if she'd like to see him. Boy is interested to see her but since he found out she's married, he was quite afraid of it. In conclusion, Boy has not gotten over Girl, and Girl has not gotten over the hurt Boy inflicted on her.
So, when I finally met up with Boy, I drove him over to Girl's town area to show him the old place we used to hang out, and I also told Girl he's around if she's willing to meet up in the middle of the night (2am). I knew they both would like to see each other but Boy is afraid to ask for it while Girl wants Boy to ask for it. I told Girl that it's quite certain that Boy dare not meet Girl, so if she want to see him, she'll just have to drop by where we were having a mamak drink.
Girl came, and they met, in front of me. Not being a lamp post here,... 13 years, things are over. But not having a proper closure (in terms of meeting each other face to face since then) is not good because it gnaws on both of them. My reason, to push for this closure is i) Girl needs to know that Boy is not the same person her old self was head-over-heels in love with. ii) Boy needs to see that Girl is happy with her life now. iii) Boy needs to close his own heart of still wanting. iv) Both just need to see each other to realize that things are done with.
Few days later, Girl is satisfied. Her young self is different from herself now, so she needn't wonder "What-if" anymore after seeing how he's turned out 13 years later. Boy on the other hand... still wants. It was his choice not to continue contacting her, brings to where it is now, similar to the phrase from Nelly's "Over and Over" featuring Tim McGraw... "I was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything, But I see clearly now, And this choice I made keep playing in my head"
I have nothing against both of them, both are good friends of mine. Even then I think a little bit of intervention had to come in, for the benefit of one at least (though I hoped it will be for both of them to realize that the past is the past). So, Klang Dude, if you're reading this.... yup, our advice to Boy differs, but you never knew Girl's side of the story. It's one thing not to disturb the harmony of Girl, but it's another to close Girl's "Why?" to his leaving without contact which she carries for 13 years. Even then, I only created the chance, it's up to Girl to take it or not. But know this,.. though my own interventions can be a mistake as I'm also only human and very prone to make mistakes, at least both are happy for the chance to meet again.