Two months back, I was browsing through a book at my doctor's clinic and I came across a very interesting short four-points article entitled "Questions to ask before we sleep." Seriously I can only remember two questions, I guess the other two was not interesting enough to commit to memory: -
1. What knowledge have I acquired today?
2. What temptations have I resisted today?
Question 1 is quite standard. My wife knows that I stress on learning something new everyday, even a single english word with its meaning and usage is considered knowledge.
Question 2 is interesting. When I browse through the memories of the day, yes, there have been tons of small and huge temptations that comes into your life. Three things that jumps in first in your decision making tree are common sense, moral values/principles and the general effect on you.
It's really sad that the word "Temptation" is generally on a negative vibe. "I'm tempted to eat that creamy cake." "I'm tempted to punch you in the face." These are more often used than "I'm tempted to open a business than working 9-5." And you will never hear anyone waking up in the morning saying "I'm tempted to utilise my entire working hours being 100% effecient." Eeee...
Most of the time, the three factors above would already have decided to stop a temptation, fialing which, a final decision making factor comes in; "lust/passion/want versus impact/consequence", or easier to put it, emotion vs logic, 'heart' vs brain. I know when it comes to food, emotion kick it rather strongly for me! That mayonaisse looks real good, though it's bad for health, I just have to have it!
How about other temptations? If I were to get a 'gift' by choosing one contractor over another, I know the consequence is zero (hardly get caught) but principle will kick it (is the money clean?). If I decide to finish watching a morning show and be late for work (general effect on me, because it's not my principle "to be early to work"), I might face consequence when my boss looks for me. All the four factors in going resisting temptation are inter-twined.
Common sense flies out the window during a rage. If I punch that idiot, I'll be questioned by the police, and a lot of hassle will start, but it's my principle that anyone who insults my family to my face, they will answer for it. Principle flies out the window when emotions/curiousity gets too strong. And as many people have different sets of principles, there are many different sets of opinion whether something is a temptation or just a norm.
Back to the main post, what temptations did I face in the latest waking 18 hours of my life? There's food. There's browsing internet/laze around vs doing work. There's tv/computer vs playing with my son. There are tons, in fact, and we face it over and over again, day in and day out.
But yes, I seriously believe is it good to question oneself that question before bed, because it reinforces decisions made against that temptations into principles, and the temptation will eventually cease to exist. Just like smoking, a norm to some, a temptation to others, and just like a piece of pebble at the roadside (totally no interest) to me. Though I've tried it due to curiousity (temptation ain't it?), I'm just lucky it never end up a daily temptation.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Why The Cheese Is Tasteless
Before I was requested to assist in Research, a certain lady which I'll name her M was looking forward to have someone assisting her. From my understanding, she already has 10 research papers to finish up and with about three research assistant under her, what she really wants is a research writer so that I can perhaps take about 3 of the research papers to unburden her load.
Old habits die hard I guess, she only gave me ONE to take over. To me it's fine, taking over one is not so bad, and so I did, processing all the analysis into proper context in the papers. After two weeks, what really stumped me was the request that "Can you print what you have done?". That was an awkward request, we have a shared folder for her to just check on my work and add in whatever is necessary.
Anyhoo, I printed the 32 pages of work which I handed to her. As expected, due to her busy schedule, she took three working days before coming back to me with her comments. I was expecting a lot of suggestions to improve on the writings or research, or some things to strengthen the context. However, what came back was only 30% suggestion, and 70% sentence construction therapy?! Writing is like cooking, no two cooks are alike in their ways of cooking or presentation, and no two writers express information the same way, albeit it being professional. Two lawyers writing a report on the same matter will have the sentence structure totally different, but having the same information relayed.
Now, since my sentences are bungled to sound the way she wants it to sound, I might as well just bring myself back down to a research assistant and leave all the writings to her. As bold and aloof as I may sound, I really do not belong at research assistant level as I know my competency in delivering this work. Even my CEO do not change my sentencing when I wrote a monthly 2,000 words report to the Landlord of the previous building I was taking care of.
So, well, here we have someone who I was during my college days. Refusal to have a 'different' style of a report which will convey the same professional information. Exactly the way I changed my team mates codings and indentations to be of my style during my computer project days.
What goes around comes around?? I don't know, but it's really tasteless now. Not only do I need to analyse information, but I now have to write sentences according to her style. I can impersonate the actions of at least two colleagues in my office, but to impersonate a writing style is something I cannot do unless I know the person very well.
Old habits die hard I guess, she only gave me ONE to take over. To me it's fine, taking over one is not so bad, and so I did, processing all the analysis into proper context in the papers. After two weeks, what really stumped me was the request that "Can you print what you have done?". That was an awkward request, we have a shared folder for her to just check on my work and add in whatever is necessary.
Anyhoo, I printed the 32 pages of work which I handed to her. As expected, due to her busy schedule, she took three working days before coming back to me with her comments. I was expecting a lot of suggestions to improve on the writings or research, or some things to strengthen the context. However, what came back was only 30% suggestion, and 70% sentence construction therapy?! Writing is like cooking, no two cooks are alike in their ways of cooking or presentation, and no two writers express information the same way, albeit it being professional. Two lawyers writing a report on the same matter will have the sentence structure totally different, but having the same information relayed.
Now, since my sentences are bungled to sound the way she wants it to sound, I might as well just bring myself back down to a research assistant and leave all the writings to her. As bold and aloof as I may sound, I really do not belong at research assistant level as I know my competency in delivering this work. Even my CEO do not change my sentencing when I wrote a monthly 2,000 words report to the Landlord of the previous building I was taking care of.
So, well, here we have someone who I was during my college days. Refusal to have a 'different' style of a report which will convey the same professional information. Exactly the way I changed my team mates codings and indentations to be of my style during my computer project days.
What goes around comes around?? I don't know, but it's really tasteless now. Not only do I need to analyse information, but I now have to write sentences according to her style. I can impersonate the actions of at least two colleagues in my office, but to impersonate a writing style is something I cannot do unless I know the person very well.
Music Memory
It's been a month since my cheese was moved, and I nibbling on it daily for the past one month, I can confirm that it's tasteless. Anyway,... since the last few posts are a little weird, I'll dwelve into my past for a short while.
While I'm an avid Hitz.FM listener in the morning, after 10:00am whenever I'm driving, I'll tune in to Hot.FM. Basically, since I'm more prone to enjoy music of the last 80's to mid 90's, that's where I can get to listen to them. While Light N' Easy do play music from that era (wrong word, "from that timespan"), I do wanna listen to rock-and-roll type of music too.
One song came up, "A Whole New World" from Aladdin's soundtrack. Threw me back to my Form 3 year. Music is a core subject in my weekly timetable during the first three years of secondary school, however, it's just because the principal asks it to be so, but there wasn't really any teachings of playing musical instruments and the likes. It's purely just learning of notes, lyrics to some good songs, and err.... sing.
My Form 3 "music exam" takes the cake. We are to choose one out of several songs to sing, and we're to enter the music room in fours, luckily it was an all male quadruplets or all female quadruplets at a time. And yes, that was the song I chose. So, the music teacher will start playing the melody on the piano and I'm suppose to give my best rendition of "A Whole New World". Sigh.....
My grade at the end of the day was a miserable 'C'. :D Comes to show I'll never go far in any music competition or those AF kinda reality show. I shoulda choose something that don't need melody like Rockafeller Skank's "Right about now, the funk soul brother, check it out now, the funk so brother."
Short post, just to keep in record. :) No pun intended.
While I'm an avid Hitz.FM listener in the morning, after 10:00am whenever I'm driving, I'll tune in to Hot.FM. Basically, since I'm more prone to enjoy music of the last 80's to mid 90's, that's where I can get to listen to them. While Light N' Easy do play music from that era (wrong word, "from that timespan"), I do wanna listen to rock-and-roll type of music too.
One song came up, "A Whole New World" from Aladdin's soundtrack. Threw me back to my Form 3 year. Music is a core subject in my weekly timetable during the first three years of secondary school, however, it's just because the principal asks it to be so, but there wasn't really any teachings of playing musical instruments and the likes. It's purely just learning of notes, lyrics to some good songs, and err.... sing.
My Form 3 "music exam" takes the cake. We are to choose one out of several songs to sing, and we're to enter the music room in fours, luckily it was an all male quadruplets or all female quadruplets at a time. And yes, that was the song I chose. So, the music teacher will start playing the melody on the piano and I'm suppose to give my best rendition of "A Whole New World". Sigh.....
My grade at the end of the day was a miserable 'C'. :D Comes to show I'll never go far in any music competition or those AF kinda reality show. I shoulda choose something that don't need melody like Rockafeller Skank's "Right about now, the funk soul brother, check it out now, the funk so brother."
Short post, just to keep in record. :) No pun intended.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
The Silencer
This post is inspired by a dream I had last night. Funny thing is, a psychologist would say that I have a demented mind lurking somewhere within, since dreams are all created by the sub-conscious mind. Nevertheless, I’m not one to question that which I have no control. While the post may be story-like, what is described during the “confusion” is exactly what happened in the dream, with the difference is that I’m the victim.
I feel the need to voice out, at least write out the pressures and stress I faced working this job. It’s been 12 years since I’m involved in this, and 8 years since I last had my real name called. Now it seems so foreign to me, as if whoever I was, was actually a close friend I once had.
I work for a company that has no name as well, only one person reporting and telling me what to do. I’m trained in military tactics and arts, under the commandos division. I have just finished by latest mission last night, and I head home and wept all night. It’s something I can’t bear doing anymore, and something I cannot stop. My real identity stated me as dead, and I can no longer come back to society.
My mission was to rescue a man, from a family who held him hostage. I have been watching the wooden shack for a week, making sure that I know each and every person that comes in contact with them. As with most kidnap cases, the real entity behind it will entrust the victim to someone else for at minimum a month, to a maximum of three months until the news died down.
I saw two men, a woman and a little boy, about the age of three besides the victim. I knew I had to kill them all, and I got sick to the stomach again which affected my movement. Approaching the shack I got careless stepping on a branch. Then the commotion started. I heard a man’s voice calling out to have the victim moved to a room. Then sounds gunshots firing out of the windows and shouts of warning commenced. It was dark and they had no idea where I really am.
A few minutes later, I managed to inch myself into one window of the shack. I knew they had all gathered in a bedroom knowing that they failed to find me. Their strategy is just to wait for me, and using the victim as leverage to have me flee. Strangely enough, moving along a short corridor, the door to the bedroom was ajar. Tossing a mirror sphere nearby the entrance, I managed to glimpse everyone’s location before the sphere shattered by a bullet released towards it.
It is a very simple mission. Just a lunge to the floor at the door and release my shots at the downbeat of the instance. I tossed my soft-padded voiced timer across to the other side of the corridor, careful to ensure it went over the entrance of the door. Five seconds to react. Two seconds after a gruff voice shouted a warning, I lunge myself towards the entrance before the voice could finish the sentence.
True enough, they are not trained. In that split second I could see them looking at each other acknowledging the presence of another rescuer. Two bullets was released into the skulls of the men, another shot released to the heart of the woman few moments later. I got up, went into the room, and saw the child looking terrified at me.
The victim thanked me, and proceeded to leave, but my mission is not finished. I was looking at the child when he said “That’s only a child, let’s go.” “No, he will talk. He’s old enough to know” and with that, I grabbed for the child and a pillow, and I smothered his face with it. The victim was in shock but he did nothing except to watch in disbelief. While the child was struggling, all I could do was to gently hush him. Just a whisper of “shh… shh… it’ll be fine.” This is the seventh time I’ve done this to an innocent being. Tears never fail to blind me each and every time. When the body got limp, I placed it on the bed and cried myself in a corner. It gets harder always.
I got the victim out of the area, back to the safety of the people I work with and left. I think this is enough. I’ve cleared out my home, wiped clean every inch of it and incinerated every item I’ve used. The boat which I manage to steal from the docks will take me out to sea, and with this weight tied around my legs, I can be sure that my body cannot be found. I will not be forgiven in my after-life.
I feel the need to voice out, at least write out the pressures and stress I faced working this job. It’s been 12 years since I’m involved in this, and 8 years since I last had my real name called. Now it seems so foreign to me, as if whoever I was, was actually a close friend I once had.
I work for a company that has no name as well, only one person reporting and telling me what to do. I’m trained in military tactics and arts, under the commandos division. I have just finished by latest mission last night, and I head home and wept all night. It’s something I can’t bear doing anymore, and something I cannot stop. My real identity stated me as dead, and I can no longer come back to society.
My mission was to rescue a man, from a family who held him hostage. I have been watching the wooden shack for a week, making sure that I know each and every person that comes in contact with them. As with most kidnap cases, the real entity behind it will entrust the victim to someone else for at minimum a month, to a maximum of three months until the news died down.
I saw two men, a woman and a little boy, about the age of three besides the victim. I knew I had to kill them all, and I got sick to the stomach again which affected my movement. Approaching the shack I got careless stepping on a branch. Then the commotion started. I heard a man’s voice calling out to have the victim moved to a room. Then sounds gunshots firing out of the windows and shouts of warning commenced. It was dark and they had no idea where I really am.
A few minutes later, I managed to inch myself into one window of the shack. I knew they had all gathered in a bedroom knowing that they failed to find me. Their strategy is just to wait for me, and using the victim as leverage to have me flee. Strangely enough, moving along a short corridor, the door to the bedroom was ajar. Tossing a mirror sphere nearby the entrance, I managed to glimpse everyone’s location before the sphere shattered by a bullet released towards it.
It is a very simple mission. Just a lunge to the floor at the door and release my shots at the downbeat of the instance. I tossed my soft-padded voiced timer across to the other side of the corridor, careful to ensure it went over the entrance of the door. Five seconds to react. Two seconds after a gruff voice shouted a warning, I lunge myself towards the entrance before the voice could finish the sentence.
True enough, they are not trained. In that split second I could see them looking at each other acknowledging the presence of another rescuer. Two bullets was released into the skulls of the men, another shot released to the heart of the woman few moments later. I got up, went into the room, and saw the child looking terrified at me.
The victim thanked me, and proceeded to leave, but my mission is not finished. I was looking at the child when he said “That’s only a child, let’s go.” “No, he will talk. He’s old enough to know” and with that, I grabbed for the child and a pillow, and I smothered his face with it. The victim was in shock but he did nothing except to watch in disbelief. While the child was struggling, all I could do was to gently hush him. Just a whisper of “shh… shh… it’ll be fine.” This is the seventh time I’ve done this to an innocent being. Tears never fail to blind me each and every time. When the body got limp, I placed it on the bed and cried myself in a corner. It gets harder always.
I got the victim out of the area, back to the safety of the people I work with and left. I think this is enough. I’ve cleared out my home, wiped clean every inch of it and incinerated every item I’ve used. The boat which I manage to steal from the docks will take me out to sea, and with this weight tied around my legs, I can be sure that my body cannot be found. I will not be forgiven in my after-life.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Night People (Part 3) - Common Pubs
I guess this will be the most innocent of all night people. At least 80% of them goes home after a drink not reaching the superb state of drunkness, and at least 95% of them are able to drive home safely, and even if caught by the police, would prove to have lower alcohol content for safe driving.
I've only been to say, umm... let's see.... this was purely in the past, there was Bali, and then there was Heaven, and another one I can't remember, which would be in the category of discos. Pubs I've been to quite a little bit! But I guess it's less than 20 in all, yuppers, totally a nerd when compared to regular pub goers. Since I do not dance and I do not drink, the only thing, actually the only two things I can do is for the eye-candy and foosball/pool.
Still, I'd feel out of place being in a pub, because that's where inhibitions tend to go away. Weird characters jump out once they're a little high, and stop being 'closed'. This is when you see people who cries and tell sob stories (I know of one boss in my ex-company that do this every single time), who just dance until he/she's tired, who just talk and yak and yak and yak, and some who just sits down there looking about as if he/she drops the contact lens. Whatever it is, it's still another 'out' from normal everyday living.
Seriously, most of the people I ask about why they go clubbing or pubs is to i. Socialise ii. Have a great time and iii. Release stress. I'm a gamer, I release stress by gaming. :P It's a hell lot cheaper. Anyway, it's all about any of the three above, or a combination of them. It's just to laugh out loud with friends, to enjoy the moment. To some it's about looking for someone with the same objective, and allows the objective to take place somewhere private. To some others, it's just to be a 'turtle', keeping the soul deeper into the body and just let loose.
All the above helps I guess since they can continue doing it on and on, but on a daily basis is what I seriously don't understand. But hey, it's the life some people choose.... still I'm not a night person, well, maybe a 2am mamak person once in a while, but I really cannot belong in any pubs/clubs with friends who drinks and just talk the night away.
I do not enjoy being not fully in control of my body, and I definitely do not enjoy talking to the alter-ego (or ego-less) friend who would not talk about what they would should they be totally sober. Even the conversation would be forgotten, so thank you, I will go if there's a good band playing or just to be 'alone' by myself thinking about life, and the latter I can do quite often somewhere else.
A short post for a somewhat innocent kind of night activity.
I've only been to say, umm... let's see.... this was purely in the past, there was Bali, and then there was Heaven, and another one I can't remember, which would be in the category of discos. Pubs I've been to quite a little bit! But I guess it's less than 20 in all, yuppers, totally a nerd when compared to regular pub goers. Since I do not dance and I do not drink, the only thing, actually the only two things I can do is for the eye-candy and foosball/pool.
Still, I'd feel out of place being in a pub, because that's where inhibitions tend to go away. Weird characters jump out once they're a little high, and stop being 'closed'. This is when you see people who cries and tell sob stories (I know of one boss in my ex-company that do this every single time), who just dance until he/she's tired, who just talk and yak and yak and yak, and some who just sits down there looking about as if he/she drops the contact lens. Whatever it is, it's still another 'out' from normal everyday living.
Seriously, most of the people I ask about why they go clubbing or pubs is to i. Socialise ii. Have a great time and iii. Release stress. I'm a gamer, I release stress by gaming. :P It's a hell lot cheaper. Anyway, it's all about any of the three above, or a combination of them. It's just to laugh out loud with friends, to enjoy the moment. To some it's about looking for someone with the same objective, and allows the objective to take place somewhere private. To some others, it's just to be a 'turtle', keeping the soul deeper into the body and just let loose.
All the above helps I guess since they can continue doing it on and on, but on a daily basis is what I seriously don't understand. But hey, it's the life some people choose.... still I'm not a night person, well, maybe a 2am mamak person once in a while, but I really cannot belong in any pubs/clubs with friends who drinks and just talk the night away.
I do not enjoy being not fully in control of my body, and I definitely do not enjoy talking to the alter-ego (or ego-less) friend who would not talk about what they would should they be totally sober. Even the conversation would be forgotten, so thank you, I will go if there's a good band playing or just to be 'alone' by myself thinking about life, and the latter I can do quite often somewhere else.
A short post for a somewhat innocent kind of night activity.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Night People (Part 2) - Coyote Ugly
While waiting for a 16.3MB email to reach me from my boss, I guess I'll get on with Part 2 of night people. Again, not a post to give advice to anyone, but just an observation.
The same colleague, during those times goes out drinking a lot. Though he doesn't drink till he gets drunk, he just didn't want to go home early. I believe on two or three occasions (I think it's two) he actually brought me to this place called Bintang Garden, a 2nd floor coyote ugly styled pub which has a balcony. I have no idea if the place still exist.
Anyway, this pub have a lot more tables and chairs then the dance floor. Not only that, the place is quite well lit and the ambience very clean. Still, we have to shout to each other to be heard, which is still better compared to the Feng Tao place where you can only communicate with hand signals or typing something on your phone and show it to your friend.
These coyote ugly girls (about 16 of them) works only from 10:00pm to 2:00am. But before that, I might as well make a diary of my first visit since it will remain just an easily forgotten episode in my life in years to come. When I visited the place with him, he's already been there twice and have already made friend with a malay coyote. So, when I stepped in, and had drinks ordered, she was the one to take the order. I only got my self a freakin' RM8.00 coke (one single small glass with 2 cubes of ice).
One thing I notice is that nearly once every half hour, all 16 coyotes will get on the bar and dance to one single piece of music. They seem to have a strong liking for "Shut Up" by The Black Eyed Peas and "Pass The Dutch" by Missy Elliot. Beside the bars, four of them will be on a higher platform with poles. Being brightly lit and all, I wouldn't say that they're dressed scantily. Sexy maybe... some in jeans and normal tank top, some even with dress! As much as they'd 'show' it'll be either the thigh or mid-riff section. Not really low neckline because of the dance they have to do to avoid any 'mishaps' jumping out.
I remembered that after one of these dances, my colleague's friend came back to our table, and after that joined by 3 other girls. I totally forgotten this colleague's friend of mine's name, but I remembered being introduced to a Jo, a Nadia and a chinese girl whom I also forgotten the name. That's when I found out that they get commission for any drinks order they took, so all of them tries to get the pub's clients to buy drinks even for the dancers. Therefore, at my table, when there's six of us (including the other 4 girls), we 'ought to' buy 6 drinks.
This girl named Nadia, whom I can described as someone who has good hips and volumnous hair, tried to look all pitiful asking me to buy her a drink saying "Aku dahaga... belilah air." to which I said "Belilah sendiri." She tried on three different attempts at different song intervals (they move around to other tables as well) and stopped when she knew she'll get nothing from me.
This pub has a 'specialty' called "Blowjob". It's purely a sick man's or unlucky slob's choice of a drink to get a little fresh with the girls. The girl will fill up that tiny scotch glass thingy with vodka or whatever and she will lie down with the bottom of the glass held in her mouth. The guy will just pick up the glass with his mouth and lift it up to drink the entire content, of course taking advantage of touching lips with the girl right before that. I took 16 of the specialty that night... kidding!!
Anyway, to speed things up, the second time (now I remembered I only went there twice) I went there with slippers and was stopped at the entrance but since they knew my colleague is a regular, they let us in. This time, on one of the break, at least 8 girls joined us (at a table meant for 4). Nadia was there, but she didn't strike up any 'sales pitch' and she was talking to me, I decided to 'interview' her.
Funnily, amongst the first question I asked was "Do you drink?" to which she answered "No", she only drinks orange juice. Seeing her move from table to some other tables, it does seem that way since all those tables have orange juice, and she doesn't do "blowjob". Next question was "Does your mum know you do this?" LOL... sigh... now it sounded like I'm from the authorities, but back then I was just awed at why anyone would choose this line of work. Anyway, from the conversation (or shouting) I had with her I learned that amongst these 16, there are different characters. Some wants to get "booked" for the night, some others just lepak at the mamak after work and goes home with their boyfriends while others, including Nadia goes home to her parents. Of course I took all these stories at face value only, people can lie. Heck, even I introduced myself as "Nik". But I did say I'm in the computer line.
It seems that the general pub customers are men in their late 30's to early 50's and they just love to put their hands on the girls' thighs whenever they come to visit the table, which explains a lot to why they stopped at our tables the longest. My colleague totally respect "physical touches" and I'm totally not used to it except for close friends or old school friends, even then it's just a simple "hello" or "goodbye" or "long time no see" hug.
At that time I decided to dwelve a little bit more on the lifestyle, and since I try to make friends with people from all walk of life, I was trying to see if Nadia can indeed be a friend or just someone out there to make money. I have a lawyer friend, accountant friend, but hey, I also want some 'not so common' ones. Since I already have a tranvestite friend and a model friend (from Penang whom it's been 6 years and we've never met), no harm,.. just friends. I told her that I have absolutely no other motive than to be a friend which she agreed and gave her number and I gave mine, but my name is still "Nik", since I still don't trust the fella.
Anyway, weeks passed, I didn't contact her at all. One night about 2:30am, she called. She just reached home from work and she asked this "Hey, kakak aku nak siapkan thesis dia tapi format kat Word ni lari teruk, boleh tolong tak?" and she passed me to the elder sister. While talking to whom I believed was her housemate, I heard an older woman's voice saying "Lah, tak tidur lagi?" being replied with "Nak habiskan report ni, mak" followed by "Last minute lagi? Nadia, pergi mandi tidur." Quick analysis made me believe that this was really her home and her sister, but why would she dared use her real name in public?
To cut things short, I had about half hour of conversation with her older sister on the project and where is good to go for Masters in Business,... she was finishing her Bachelor's thesis. I did ask "Kenapa Nadia balik lambat?" to which she replied "Come on, aku tau dia dancer kat pub. I think you pun kenal dia kat situ. She told me you macam orang salah tempat, totally awkward kat situ, macam batu, lagu best pun duduk macam tengok tv, tak bergerak with the music pun."
On the phonecall with her, this is where I learned that they start work at 10pm to 2am every night (each girl 6 days a night, so in total there's actually 20+ girls). She was just turning 18 in a few weeks time, and used a friend's IC to apply for the job. They get RM3,000 as a basic pay excluding commission. She bought a whole complete set of wardrobe, which her mum got suspicious of her job and she said it's from her bonus. She finished SPM but decided to stop studying citing "Aku tak pandai macam kakak aku." She tells her mum she works as a waitress at night at a pub, amazingly her mum doesn't mind. I cannot remember what else besides the above in the hour long conversation.
The next phonecall, which turned out to be the last phonecall, a few weeks later, she said she was quitting the scene and decided to go for those event type of dancing. Promotions, product launches, etc and have started on a few already. Her boyfriend of two years who she broke up with right after SPM is back with her. That phonecall, I thought for a while, and then I told her "Good for you", and within the conversation I just told her to take good care of herself and if anything, do call me for any friendly help or advice. That's the last I heard of her, and I never did follow up (which I usually do with ALL my friends at least yearly) because I lost her phone number many months later. And my colleague, who also has her phone number went into a crazy mood deleting each any every girl's phonenumber (except work mates) when the girl he liked accepted him. But that's another story.
Hmm... rather lengthy post, but all the better since I have planned to document this interesting encounter and get it off my memory bank. One thing I learn is that some people, who doesn't want to 'fall' but wants to earn good money, dares to risk being walking on a thin line that can be to their downfall. I'm happy that one friend did not make it a career, or goes 'deeper' into it, and most probably it's because her sister kept her in check. Still, risks like this, where emotional instability can easily crop up (if she does drink and being under the influence, or at least be 'trapped' by a smooth talker), is some things that people do decide to try their mental and morale strength in.
I guess I'm weak in testing my emotional strength on a thin line like this. Even in my line of work, it's easy to get extra money. Imagine four contractors bidding for a contract for my ex-building, and all planning to give significant amount of "monetary gift" if I recommend them highly and they get accepted. I told them that I don't do it, (I also know my CEO totally despise it) and it will be on a fair trial. Better safe than sorry. Not worth getting caught and not worth throwing my honor out the window.
Sorry if the above post seem to put me in a very good light. I'm like any guy, I do enjoy watching the dances, something nice to see. But my wife knows totally well I won't, for a second, would think about getting in a relationship with anyone I know from these certain places.
The same colleague, during those times goes out drinking a lot. Though he doesn't drink till he gets drunk, he just didn't want to go home early. I believe on two or three occasions (I think it's two) he actually brought me to this place called Bintang Garden, a 2nd floor coyote ugly styled pub which has a balcony. I have no idea if the place still exist.
Anyway, this pub have a lot more tables and chairs then the dance floor. Not only that, the place is quite well lit and the ambience very clean. Still, we have to shout to each other to be heard, which is still better compared to the Feng Tao place where you can only communicate with hand signals or typing something on your phone and show it to your friend.
These coyote ugly girls (about 16 of them) works only from 10:00pm to 2:00am. But before that, I might as well make a diary of my first visit since it will remain just an easily forgotten episode in my life in years to come. When I visited the place with him, he's already been there twice and have already made friend with a malay coyote. So, when I stepped in, and had drinks ordered, she was the one to take the order. I only got my self a freakin' RM8.00 coke (one single small glass with 2 cubes of ice).
One thing I notice is that nearly once every half hour, all 16 coyotes will get on the bar and dance to one single piece of music. They seem to have a strong liking for "Shut Up" by The Black Eyed Peas and "Pass The Dutch" by Missy Elliot. Beside the bars, four of them will be on a higher platform with poles. Being brightly lit and all, I wouldn't say that they're dressed scantily. Sexy maybe... some in jeans and normal tank top, some even with dress! As much as they'd 'show' it'll be either the thigh or mid-riff section. Not really low neckline because of the dance they have to do to avoid any 'mishaps' jumping out.
I remembered that after one of these dances, my colleague's friend came back to our table, and after that joined by 3 other girls. I totally forgotten this colleague's friend of mine's name, but I remembered being introduced to a Jo, a Nadia and a chinese girl whom I also forgotten the name. That's when I found out that they get commission for any drinks order they took, so all of them tries to get the pub's clients to buy drinks even for the dancers. Therefore, at my table, when there's six of us (including the other 4 girls), we 'ought to' buy 6 drinks.
This girl named Nadia, whom I can described as someone who has good hips and volumnous hair, tried to look all pitiful asking me to buy her a drink saying "Aku dahaga... belilah air." to which I said "Belilah sendiri." She tried on three different attempts at different song intervals (they move around to other tables as well) and stopped when she knew she'll get nothing from me.
This pub has a 'specialty' called "Blowjob". It's purely a sick man's or unlucky slob's choice of a drink to get a little fresh with the girls. The girl will fill up that tiny scotch glass thingy with vodka or whatever and she will lie down with the bottom of the glass held in her mouth. The guy will just pick up the glass with his mouth and lift it up to drink the entire content, of course taking advantage of touching lips with the girl right before that. I took 16 of the specialty that night... kidding!!
Anyway, to speed things up, the second time (now I remembered I only went there twice) I went there with slippers and was stopped at the entrance but since they knew my colleague is a regular, they let us in. This time, on one of the break, at least 8 girls joined us (at a table meant for 4). Nadia was there, but she didn't strike up any 'sales pitch' and she was talking to me, I decided to 'interview' her.
Funnily, amongst the first question I asked was "Do you drink?" to which she answered "No", she only drinks orange juice. Seeing her move from table to some other tables, it does seem that way since all those tables have orange juice, and she doesn't do "blowjob". Next question was "Does your mum know you do this?" LOL... sigh... now it sounded like I'm from the authorities, but back then I was just awed at why anyone would choose this line of work. Anyway, from the conversation (or shouting) I had with her I learned that amongst these 16, there are different characters. Some wants to get "booked" for the night, some others just lepak at the mamak after work and goes home with their boyfriends while others, including Nadia goes home to her parents. Of course I took all these stories at face value only, people can lie. Heck, even I introduced myself as "Nik". But I did say I'm in the computer line.
It seems that the general pub customers are men in their late 30's to early 50's and they just love to put their hands on the girls' thighs whenever they come to visit the table, which explains a lot to why they stopped at our tables the longest. My colleague totally respect "physical touches" and I'm totally not used to it except for close friends or old school friends, even then it's just a simple "hello" or "goodbye" or "long time no see" hug.
At that time I decided to dwelve a little bit more on the lifestyle, and since I try to make friends with people from all walk of life, I was trying to see if Nadia can indeed be a friend or just someone out there to make money. I have a lawyer friend, accountant friend, but hey, I also want some 'not so common' ones. Since I already have a tranvestite friend and a model friend (from Penang whom it's been 6 years and we've never met), no harm,.. just friends. I told her that I have absolutely no other motive than to be a friend which she agreed and gave her number and I gave mine, but my name is still "Nik", since I still don't trust the fella.
Anyway, weeks passed, I didn't contact her at all. One night about 2:30am, she called. She just reached home from work and she asked this "Hey, kakak aku nak siapkan thesis dia tapi format kat Word ni lari teruk, boleh tolong tak?" and she passed me to the elder sister. While talking to whom I believed was her housemate, I heard an older woman's voice saying "Lah, tak tidur lagi?" being replied with "Nak habiskan report ni, mak" followed by "Last minute lagi? Nadia, pergi mandi tidur." Quick analysis made me believe that this was really her home and her sister, but why would she dared use her real name in public?
To cut things short, I had about half hour of conversation with her older sister on the project and where is good to go for Masters in Business,... she was finishing her Bachelor's thesis. I did ask "Kenapa Nadia balik lambat?" to which she replied "Come on, aku tau dia dancer kat pub. I think you pun kenal dia kat situ. She told me you macam orang salah tempat, totally awkward kat situ, macam batu, lagu best pun duduk macam tengok tv, tak bergerak with the music pun."
On the phonecall with her, this is where I learned that they start work at 10pm to 2am every night (each girl 6 days a night, so in total there's actually 20+ girls). She was just turning 18 in a few weeks time, and used a friend's IC to apply for the job. They get RM3,000 as a basic pay excluding commission. She bought a whole complete set of wardrobe, which her mum got suspicious of her job and she said it's from her bonus. She finished SPM but decided to stop studying citing "Aku tak pandai macam kakak aku." She tells her mum she works as a waitress at night at a pub, amazingly her mum doesn't mind. I cannot remember what else besides the above in the hour long conversation.
The next phonecall, which turned out to be the last phonecall, a few weeks later, she said she was quitting the scene and decided to go for those event type of dancing. Promotions, product launches, etc and have started on a few already. Her boyfriend of two years who she broke up with right after SPM is back with her. That phonecall, I thought for a while, and then I told her "Good for you", and within the conversation I just told her to take good care of herself and if anything, do call me for any friendly help or advice. That's the last I heard of her, and I never did follow up (which I usually do with ALL my friends at least yearly) because I lost her phone number many months later. And my colleague, who also has her phone number went into a crazy mood deleting each any every girl's phonenumber (except work mates) when the girl he liked accepted him. But that's another story.
Hmm... rather lengthy post, but all the better since I have planned to document this interesting encounter and get it off my memory bank. One thing I learn is that some people, who doesn't want to 'fall' but wants to earn good money, dares to risk being walking on a thin line that can be to their downfall. I'm happy that one friend did not make it a career, or goes 'deeper' into it, and most probably it's because her sister kept her in check. Still, risks like this, where emotional instability can easily crop up (if she does drink and being under the influence, or at least be 'trapped' by a smooth talker), is some things that people do decide to try their mental and morale strength in.
I guess I'm weak in testing my emotional strength on a thin line like this. Even in my line of work, it's easy to get extra money. Imagine four contractors bidding for a contract for my ex-building, and all planning to give significant amount of "monetary gift" if I recommend them highly and they get accepted. I told them that I don't do it, (I also know my CEO totally despise it) and it will be on a fair trial. Better safe than sorry. Not worth getting caught and not worth throwing my honor out the window.
Sorry if the above post seem to put me in a very good light. I'm like any guy, I do enjoy watching the dances, something nice to see. But my wife knows totally well I won't, for a second, would think about getting in a relationship with anyone I know from these certain places.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Night People (Part 1) - Feng Tao
The post with the title above would have to be placed under PG18 at least, or maybe PG15. While the post will be a total "no big deal" to the night people, I treat this purely as a documentation of what I have experienced, viewed, studied and 'try-to-understand' during a period when I was among the night people. So, people under 18, please stop reading this now.
I plan to have a Part 1 - Feng Tao, Part 2 - Coyote Ugly and Part 3 - Common Pubs; just as an expression from a extreme night people to that of the most common ones. I will not talk about night races, rempit, hookers/transvestites waiting by the roadside and drunkards walking about and shouting in the streets. These 'activities' I have seen, but did not get myself absorbed to understand why the human body and soul act that way.
Back in 2002 - 2003, I had the opportunity to go out at night quite a bit, especially since I had a colleague friend who seem to 'adopt' a "need to release my sorrow" habit which he carried about three months or so.
Feng Tao, which literally means shaking head (I don't know in which dialect) refers to the darkest (in terms of light and feeling) of discos I have ever been in. It starts about 2am all the way to the early morning at 7am and no one would know it's daylight. My colleague, while in normal pubs have made some friends with a more hardcore drinker and someone who's crazy about going feng tao. Here's my experience....
My colleague picked me up from home and brought me over to (I forgot the location) where I notice it's a pub cum snooker centre which he plays often. Then his friend suggested to check a feng tao place. My colleague wasn't so sure about this but would like to take a look, and therefore, knowing (hopefully) that I can think straight, I followed suit just to take a look. We got into his friend's car, and we went off towards... crap.. I forgot the location. Anyway, it's a shophouse, packed with cars on the outside but very quiet.
Before we went in, his friends decided to 'smoke'. This smoking was done using a small mineral water bottle, with the 'vegetable' placed into the bottle and lit and the bottle capped. A small hole was bored at the side of the bottle where a stay is placed in and they just puff away. We never tried. That's the first 'step' to getting high.
About 15 minutes later, near 1:30am we were led into to the door, once inside we had to walk to a totally dark maze like area with only 'arrow' lights on the floor, and music started to get louder. Once totally inside, at least three bouncers are on standby, trance music totally deafening, and at least 90% of the people are just nodding their head to the beat of the bass. WTF!
Three jugs of beers given, my colleague took one glass, and he said taste awful. Then the second 'step' offered, a pill! Somewhat 'respectably' these friends of his respect free will, they just offer but it's up to you to take or not. The whole place was nearly dark, with disco lights, and packed, and on the way to the common toilet, there's already a couple doing 'project' on the floor! Back to the edge of what seems to be where these zombies are, I was fascinated at these 90% of people who are just moving, nodding, clapping and 'touching' and being totally oblivious to what the heck is around. Serious zombies.
When the DJ shouts something, they all go "yeaaa!!!". Heck, he could have said "Do you all wanna die?" or "Do you all wanna go home now?" Within 20 minutes we left the place outselves and took a cab back to his car. I revisited another feng tao place within two weeks, this time at Puchong IOI Mall roof top, same ole'.
Like being a drunk, or getting extremely high on smoking or even drugs, my only answer to why these people chose such an activity,... is for release. To release oneself from the world's care, no worries, no responsibility, no feeling. It's like they want to be dead for a while, just to 'rest' the soul. Any-hoot, I don't judge them, but to me this lifestyle is an extreme lifestyle which just cannot suit a lot of people. To just go home totally stoned driven by one person who's not drunk, and waking up the next day not knowing what happened the night before is somewhat of a "reset" button to these people. At least that's what they explained to me.
One thing for sure, in every group, there is nearly at least one other person who will be sober the entire time. His/her 'job' is to make sure they go home safe. Funny team, but hey, they at least made sure they don't 'die' for good.
I plan to have a Part 1 - Feng Tao, Part 2 - Coyote Ugly and Part 3 - Common Pubs; just as an expression from a extreme night people to that of the most common ones. I will not talk about night races, rempit, hookers/transvestites waiting by the roadside and drunkards walking about and shouting in the streets. These 'activities' I have seen, but did not get myself absorbed to understand why the human body and soul act that way.
Back in 2002 - 2003, I had the opportunity to go out at night quite a bit, especially since I had a colleague friend who seem to 'adopt' a "need to release my sorrow" habit which he carried about three months or so.
Feng Tao, which literally means shaking head (I don't know in which dialect) refers to the darkest (in terms of light and feeling) of discos I have ever been in. It starts about 2am all the way to the early morning at 7am and no one would know it's daylight. My colleague, while in normal pubs have made some friends with a more hardcore drinker and someone who's crazy about going feng tao. Here's my experience....
My colleague picked me up from home and brought me over to (I forgot the location) where I notice it's a pub cum snooker centre which he plays often. Then his friend suggested to check a feng tao place. My colleague wasn't so sure about this but would like to take a look, and therefore, knowing (hopefully) that I can think straight, I followed suit just to take a look. We got into his friend's car, and we went off towards... crap.. I forgot the location. Anyway, it's a shophouse, packed with cars on the outside but very quiet.
Before we went in, his friends decided to 'smoke'. This smoking was done using a small mineral water bottle, with the 'vegetable' placed into the bottle and lit and the bottle capped. A small hole was bored at the side of the bottle where a stay is placed in and they just puff away. We never tried. That's the first 'step' to getting high.
About 15 minutes later, near 1:30am we were led into to the door, once inside we had to walk to a totally dark maze like area with only 'arrow' lights on the floor, and music started to get louder. Once totally inside, at least three bouncers are on standby, trance music totally deafening, and at least 90% of the people are just nodding their head to the beat of the bass. WTF!
Three jugs of beers given, my colleague took one glass, and he said taste awful. Then the second 'step' offered, a pill! Somewhat 'respectably' these friends of his respect free will, they just offer but it's up to you to take or not. The whole place was nearly dark, with disco lights, and packed, and on the way to the common toilet, there's already a couple doing 'project' on the floor! Back to the edge of what seems to be where these zombies are, I was fascinated at these 90% of people who are just moving, nodding, clapping and 'touching' and being totally oblivious to what the heck is around. Serious zombies.
When the DJ shouts something, they all go "yeaaa!!!". Heck, he could have said "Do you all wanna die?" or "Do you all wanna go home now?" Within 20 minutes we left the place outselves and took a cab back to his car. I revisited another feng tao place within two weeks, this time at Puchong IOI Mall roof top, same ole'.
Like being a drunk, or getting extremely high on smoking or even drugs, my only answer to why these people chose such an activity,... is for release. To release oneself from the world's care, no worries, no responsibility, no feeling. It's like they want to be dead for a while, just to 'rest' the soul. Any-hoot, I don't judge them, but to me this lifestyle is an extreme lifestyle which just cannot suit a lot of people. To just go home totally stoned driven by one person who's not drunk, and waking up the next day not knowing what happened the night before is somewhat of a "reset" button to these people. At least that's what they explained to me.
One thing for sure, in every group, there is nearly at least one other person who will be sober the entire time. His/her 'job' is to make sure they go home safe. Funny team, but hey, they at least made sure they don't 'die' for good.
Monday, June 11, 2007
We'll Wait For You
Though science proved that the first heart beat starts on the 22nd day of fertility, and that the Malaysian fatwa stated that abortion is not condoned after 40 days of fertility. Still, according to Riwayat Bukhary and Muslim, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) stated that after three terms of 40 days, the spirit is 'blown' into the body. Science also proved that independent actions starts about that time (i.e. movement of body). This is strengthened in Al-Hijr: 28-29.
On the 5th of May 2007, we received our first news that you are coming. Your body is being developed. Three checks with two clinics (received negative comments) and hospital (natural development) indicated that you should arrive by early January 2008. Mommy and I started a small preparation for you, like looking at pregnancy clothes, clothes extensions, etc.
On 5th of June 2007, mommy started bleeding. So, we went to see the doctor who delivered your brother. Sadly, your body's heart stopped beating, and your house was smaller. Mommy cried. I cried too, but I guess God has other things in mind. All that we hope now is that you still come back to our family instead of being 'blown' in another body, which I believe God's grace allows that.... though we will never know what happens 'Up There'.
Meantime, I guess your brother has to content himself with playing his toy cars while waiting for you. Mommy will have to wait longer to carry you, but the good thing is, mommy is re-preparing her body for the better so that your body can grow with greater care, Insya-Allah.
We've saved all records of your body's development up to the day your body stopped growing so that we can show you next time. On record, your body managed to grow to 8 weeks (according to Doctor's calculation) or 6 weeks (according to me, since I calculated from what I believe is the exact date of fertilization).
We are waiting for you, but take your time. Just not too much time, ok? :)
Love,
Mommy, your brother and myself.
On the 5th of May 2007, we received our first news that you are coming. Your body is being developed. Three checks with two clinics (received negative comments) and hospital (natural development) indicated that you should arrive by early January 2008. Mommy and I started a small preparation for you, like looking at pregnancy clothes, clothes extensions, etc.
On 5th of June 2007, mommy started bleeding. So, we went to see the doctor who delivered your brother. Sadly, your body's heart stopped beating, and your house was smaller. Mommy cried. I cried too, but I guess God has other things in mind. All that we hope now is that you still come back to our family instead of being 'blown' in another body, which I believe God's grace allows that.... though we will never know what happens 'Up There'.
Meantime, I guess your brother has to content himself with playing his toy cars while waiting for you. Mommy will have to wait longer to carry you, but the good thing is, mommy is re-preparing her body for the better so that your body can grow with greater care, Insya-Allah.
We've saved all records of your body's development up to the day your body stopped growing so that we can show you next time. On record, your body managed to grow to 8 weeks (according to Doctor's calculation) or 6 weeks (according to me, since I calculated from what I believe is the exact date of fertilization).
We are waiting for you, but take your time. Just not too much time, ok? :)
Love,
Mommy, your brother and myself.
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Extreme Physical Tiredness
I'm sure some of you have been in my position before.
Today I was so tired and sleepy, and did fall asleep by 8:30pm, however ended up waking up again and stayed well beyond your tiredness and sleepiness that it all goes away. Now it's 2:00am in the morning and I don't know how to sleep.
I've been in this position a couple of times before. Those that stands out well is of course during college days, whereby I get sleepy by 11:00pm, but because of the lure of that online game that keeps me awake, by the time it's 2:00am, I'm fresh! Can even go out mamak at 3:00am and then come home and continue gaming. And by 11:00am the next day still fresh!! Except that I can't feel my skin anymore. Things feel dull.... and then the only thing I can do it just to lie down and hope that sleep gets to me.
Scary feeling. The worst time ever was my first day of SPM. I practically did not sleep the night before AT ALL. What's weird is that I was not even worried about the exam, and by 2:00am..... well, I guess you all go through this... by a certain time that you can't sleep, you end up counting "Okay, if I can sleep now, I still get five hours." and then you end up watching the clock... and awake... "Crap, it's 3:00am now, four hours... come on man, sleep, sleep!" and yet you still watch the clock tick away in the middle of the night. It's ridiculous! But I guess as humans we tend to do this.
In the end we end up not sleeping at all until... guess what... 30 minutes before we're supposed to get up, and then we REALLY have problems trying to get up. Sigh... the human body.
Good night.
Today I was so tired and sleepy, and did fall asleep by 8:30pm, however ended up waking up again and stayed well beyond your tiredness and sleepiness that it all goes away. Now it's 2:00am in the morning and I don't know how to sleep.
I've been in this position a couple of times before. Those that stands out well is of course during college days, whereby I get sleepy by 11:00pm, but because of the lure of that online game that keeps me awake, by the time it's 2:00am, I'm fresh! Can even go out mamak at 3:00am and then come home and continue gaming. And by 11:00am the next day still fresh!! Except that I can't feel my skin anymore. Things feel dull.... and then the only thing I can do it just to lie down and hope that sleep gets to me.
Scary feeling. The worst time ever was my first day of SPM. I practically did not sleep the night before AT ALL. What's weird is that I was not even worried about the exam, and by 2:00am..... well, I guess you all go through this... by a certain time that you can't sleep, you end up counting "Okay, if I can sleep now, I still get five hours." and then you end up watching the clock... and awake... "Crap, it's 3:00am now, four hours... come on man, sleep, sleep!" and yet you still watch the clock tick away in the middle of the night. It's ridiculous! But I guess as humans we tend to do this.
In the end we end up not sleeping at all until... guess what... 30 minutes before we're supposed to get up, and then we REALLY have problems trying to get up. Sigh... the human body.
Good night.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
New Cheese
Today is officially my last day being involved with the building I'm very familiar with since September 2005. The irony of the entire situation is that my signature was the final action (signing as a witness) for the handover of the building to another property manager.
Yea, yea, like little kid's handwriting.
How do I feel then, at 5:30pm when I signed?? Concerned actually, coz' I have another meeting to rush to (which I did at 7:00pm) and also on the staff we left to the building that was rejected by the new company. These 6 staffs are now considered on a one month termination as they have no place in my HQ, being security, maintenance and admin staff.
How do I feel now, at 11:30pm same day? Rather sad, but thankful. I was fortunate to be able to step on the rooftop of a 30++ storey building and enjoy the city view without being escorted by security. I was fortunate to observe how a lift motor room looks like on Level 34, how the cable works carrying the lifts from Ground Floor to upper floors. I was fortunate to be able to view and explore huge generator set room and huge MDF room. I was fortunate to be walking about the building always being waved by or waved at tenants who knows me by name. I was fortunate to easily be invited into tenant offices to view renovations which tenants are proud of. I was fortunate to be a part of a building's management team, a close-knit family that has now grown apart.
Now, a new cheese. Under another Director. It's like starting in a new company again. I'm ready for the challenge. Wish me luck.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
We'll Meet Again
Darren was watching a girl across the street, very pretty, very alluring. He'd like to make friends with her if possible, but he's afraid. Since he have seen her a few times, he knew he'll see her again. She must be working somewhere nearby his place.
Today he's would be walking past her once the pedestrian lights turns green where he'll get a closer look at the girl he admires. However, today is a different turn. A lorry refused to stop at he finds himself lunged to push the girl out of the way. Besides a few bruises on the legs and arms, everyone was ok. "What's your name?", she asked him, thankful that he saved her life.
No, this is not a natural action that he initiated. This invitation to friendship was due to a "must do" and not a "need to do" situation. So he answered "I'm sorry. If fate makes us meet again, I'll introduce myself properly. I'd really love to see you again." and he walked off. To him, the friendship need to happen from his own doing, not fate that brings an introduction. She saw him walk off, rather disheartened that he was not willing to befriend her there and then. She'll seek him out again.
Days went by. At 1:00pm, he entered a restaurant. At 1:15pm, she entered the same restaurant, but she did not see him. He has just left 5 minutes ago after receiving an urgent phonecall from his boss to return to the office.
Weeks went by. She's walking towards the pedestrian crossing on one side of the road, and he on another. They will see each other while waiting for the light to turn green. Only tens of steps left before she reaches the crossing. Then a gust of wind blew the papers she's holding. Scattered on the pavement, she proceeded to pick them up, helped by strangers. A minute later, he has crossed the street and heading to the direction not from where she was coming from.
Months went by. She wonders why she has not met him, and he wonders the same. Luck called the both of them to attend the same seminar on a hotel nearby. On the morning, after she registered and head to the toilet, her white pants was smeared red. A leak! She left to go home. He registered while she was in the toilet, and went out for a smoke. They did not meet, he was busy looking at a billboard being painted while she raced passed behind him, head bowed to get to her car.
"Are you Fate?", a bird, perched high above a tree near the pedestrian crossing asked to its left. "Yes, yes I am", said the 'being'. "I think they really want to meet each other. Is it just bad luck, or you have something to do with it?", the bird queried.
"I did that", said Fate. "They are too perfect for each other. Should they meet, they will get married. Grow up with three kids, both soars in their careers, live happily for many many years." The bird was confused, "Then why did you not let them meet?"
"They will be divorced in their 15th year marriage, when the economy goes bad and they get retrenched. It will start from a fight about money, then about career, then they will start bringing up what they're unhappy about each other, and it will just grow until they divorce."
"How can you know this?", surprised, the bird asked.
"Because for 15 years they will not face any life challenges. I have to split them apart for their own good. We live our life to face challenges, to grow up, to get matured and to be able to face further difficult challenges. Having a smooth journey for 15 years, you will get too used to it, and once a bump appears, you will ram into it and find yourself getting tossed out of the car. It's exactly like how a kid grows up on their parent's riches until he or she reaches 22 and the parents goes bankrupt. He or she will not able to cope."
"I'm doing the best for them. I give them a reason to live. I make sure they have challenges to grow old properly and to appreciate life."
Today he's would be walking past her once the pedestrian lights turns green where he'll get a closer look at the girl he admires. However, today is a different turn. A lorry refused to stop at he finds himself lunged to push the girl out of the way. Besides a few bruises on the legs and arms, everyone was ok. "What's your name?", she asked him, thankful that he saved her life.
No, this is not a natural action that he initiated. This invitation to friendship was due to a "must do" and not a "need to do" situation. So he answered "I'm sorry. If fate makes us meet again, I'll introduce myself properly. I'd really love to see you again." and he walked off. To him, the friendship need to happen from his own doing, not fate that brings an introduction. She saw him walk off, rather disheartened that he was not willing to befriend her there and then. She'll seek him out again.
Days went by. At 1:00pm, he entered a restaurant. At 1:15pm, she entered the same restaurant, but she did not see him. He has just left 5 minutes ago after receiving an urgent phonecall from his boss to return to the office.
Weeks went by. She's walking towards the pedestrian crossing on one side of the road, and he on another. They will see each other while waiting for the light to turn green. Only tens of steps left before she reaches the crossing. Then a gust of wind blew the papers she's holding. Scattered on the pavement, she proceeded to pick them up, helped by strangers. A minute later, he has crossed the street and heading to the direction not from where she was coming from.
Months went by. She wonders why she has not met him, and he wonders the same. Luck called the both of them to attend the same seminar on a hotel nearby. On the morning, after she registered and head to the toilet, her white pants was smeared red. A leak! She left to go home. He registered while she was in the toilet, and went out for a smoke. They did not meet, he was busy looking at a billboard being painted while she raced passed behind him, head bowed to get to her car.
"Are you Fate?", a bird, perched high above a tree near the pedestrian crossing asked to its left. "Yes, yes I am", said the 'being'. "I think they really want to meet each other. Is it just bad luck, or you have something to do with it?", the bird queried.
"I did that", said Fate. "They are too perfect for each other. Should they meet, they will get married. Grow up with three kids, both soars in their careers, live happily for many many years." The bird was confused, "Then why did you not let them meet?"
"They will be divorced in their 15th year marriage, when the economy goes bad and they get retrenched. It will start from a fight about money, then about career, then they will start bringing up what they're unhappy about each other, and it will just grow until they divorce."
"How can you know this?", surprised, the bird asked.
"Because for 15 years they will not face any life challenges. I have to split them apart for their own good. We live our life to face challenges, to grow up, to get matured and to be able to face further difficult challenges. Having a smooth journey for 15 years, you will get too used to it, and once a bump appears, you will ram into it and find yourself getting tossed out of the car. It's exactly like how a kid grows up on their parent's riches until he or she reaches 22 and the parents goes bankrupt. He or she will not able to cope."
"I'm doing the best for them. I give them a reason to live. I make sure they have challenges to grow old properly and to appreciate life."
Saturday, May 12, 2007
God Lends To Us
This is the first time Azman have gotten the courage to break into a house. It was dinnertime. When he smashed the door down and brandished his parang to the shocked family, he never expected what he saw.
Yes, he expected the woman to scream, only to force herself to be quiet to save her 12 years old daughter and 9 years old son. She moved them away from the dinner table, to huddle in the corner crying softly looking at Azman. What Azman don't understand is why the man, after being shocked by the sound, looked at him, continued eating his dinner as if he's not there.
"Why aren't you scared?"
"Why should I be?"
"I'm going to rob you, and most probably threaten your life and that of your family until you give me every cent you have."
"Everything that I have, my money, my car, my house, my television, even my wife and my children, they are lent to me during my lifetime. Everything I own and love, even myself, belongs to God. Certainly you have come, ordered by God to take back His possessions. If it is so, take what you were asked to take back."
With that, Azman took what he was asked to take, without knowing it... the advice that began to change his life for the better, and he left the house.
Yes, he expected the woman to scream, only to force herself to be quiet to save her 12 years old daughter and 9 years old son. She moved them away from the dinner table, to huddle in the corner crying softly looking at Azman. What Azman don't understand is why the man, after being shocked by the sound, looked at him, continued eating his dinner as if he's not there.
"Why aren't you scared?"
"Why should I be?"
"I'm going to rob you, and most probably threaten your life and that of your family until you give me every cent you have."
"Everything that I have, my money, my car, my house, my television, even my wife and my children, they are lent to me during my lifetime. Everything I own and love, even myself, belongs to God. Certainly you have come, ordered by God to take back His possessions. If it is so, take what you were asked to take back."
With that, Azman took what he was asked to take, without knowing it... the advice that began to change his life for the better, and he left the house.
Friday, May 11, 2007
BELIEVE In Yourself!
I've actually blogged about the fact that most people carries along with them words of courage or idioms, to bring them through their daily life as a guide or confidence booster when faced with situations unfamiliar to them, or situations that challenges the current peaceful state of their calmed minds.
Just to recap, two of them to me are "If you think you can't, you've already lost without even trying." and Nike's "Just Do It!".
Most of us also carry stories as a guide and confidence booster that we have accepted and practically and absorbed that story into our subconscious. I wish to share a story that has just surfaced just few hours ago, which I knew was in me all along. I can't recall where I read it, but I know it's a story I read quite some time back. You will at first notice the evil in the character in the story, but it will knock some sense into our head to who we really are. Sorry if the story is not well narrated. Hmm... I'll check the internet for it first, and if I can't locate it, I'll narrate on my own. .... darn, can't find it.... anyway, it's either a dance, or a singing, but I'll take a dance.
A woman, Dawn, in her 40's watched as her daughter performed her dance on stage. After the dance, the crowd gave her a standing ovation. Dawn was very proud of her daughter, having failed herself to be able to dance as graceful and beautifully than her. Her daughter will make it big, unlike her mother.
After hugging her daughter, she went up and approach the dance teacher. Abruptly she turned away and pulled her daughter away with her. The dance teacher is familiar, in fact, Dawn knows her. They used to take dance class together at a prestigious dance class twenty years ago, and she is the worst in the class. And Dawn, the second worst in the class.
Twenty years ago, on a heaty evening her dance teacher called the both of them, and told them to leave the class. She said, "You will never be able to dance well, I suggest you stop your lessons with us." Dawn retaliated "But I want to dance well!", to which she received the reply "Don't waste your time. You'll never amount to anything big."
How is it then that her friend could even now be a dance teacher?! Dawn went home, rummaged through her old files and found the address to her old dance school. She wanted an explanation. It took her two weeks to track down her old dance teacher, who she decided to give a visit. Her anger non-wavering since two weeks back.
"Do you know that you wrecked my dream when you told me I cannot dance?! Do you even remember what you told me!?"
"Dear, you're not the only one. I've shot down many dreams, you're just but one of hundreds, even thousands."
"Why do you do that? You're evil! You're a dance teacher, a dance expert, you're suppose to guide your students, to make the best of them."
"Call me what you wish. Everyone of my students who I train to the end just ends up as someone who can dance, nothing more. There are some whom I wish they soar further, and these are the ones I told them they cannot make it."
"What do you mean?!"
"I may be an expert, but what gives me the right to dictate your ability? What gives me the right to tell you what you can and cannot do? It is just a simple challenge, but you chosed to heed another individual's advice than to believe in your own ability!"
"But don't you get it? You're the expert! Of course I listen to you! You mean to tell me I did not make it big because I believed in what you said? If I didn't believe you, I'd soar to great heights?"
"You may or may not soar, but at least you'd challenge yourself. Heeding my words, you totally placed your future in another person's hand. Too many people prefers to let others dictate the their life, and destroys whatever in-born ability they have within them.
Only one person truly knows your capability, and that person is yourself. You know your skills, you know your ability, you know your own body and mind and what they can do. No one has the rights to tell what to do with your skills, ability and body and mind's capacity and capability."
Just to recap, two of them to me are "If you think you can't, you've already lost without even trying." and Nike's "Just Do It!".
Most of us also carry stories as a guide and confidence booster that we have accepted and practically and absorbed that story into our subconscious. I wish to share a story that has just surfaced just few hours ago, which I knew was in me all along. I can't recall where I read it, but I know it's a story I read quite some time back. You will at first notice the evil in the character in the story, but it will knock some sense into our head to who we really are. Sorry if the story is not well narrated. Hmm... I'll check the internet for it first, and if I can't locate it, I'll narrate on my own. .... darn, can't find it.... anyway, it's either a dance, or a singing, but I'll take a dance.
A woman, Dawn, in her 40's watched as her daughter performed her dance on stage. After the dance, the crowd gave her a standing ovation. Dawn was very proud of her daughter, having failed herself to be able to dance as graceful and beautifully than her. Her daughter will make it big, unlike her mother.
After hugging her daughter, she went up and approach the dance teacher. Abruptly she turned away and pulled her daughter away with her. The dance teacher is familiar, in fact, Dawn knows her. They used to take dance class together at a prestigious dance class twenty years ago, and she is the worst in the class. And Dawn, the second worst in the class.
Twenty years ago, on a heaty evening her dance teacher called the both of them, and told them to leave the class. She said, "You will never be able to dance well, I suggest you stop your lessons with us." Dawn retaliated "But I want to dance well!", to which she received the reply "Don't waste your time. You'll never amount to anything big."
How is it then that her friend could even now be a dance teacher?! Dawn went home, rummaged through her old files and found the address to her old dance school. She wanted an explanation. It took her two weeks to track down her old dance teacher, who she decided to give a visit. Her anger non-wavering since two weeks back.
"Do you know that you wrecked my dream when you told me I cannot dance?! Do you even remember what you told me!?"
"Dear, you're not the only one. I've shot down many dreams, you're just but one of hundreds, even thousands."
"Why do you do that? You're evil! You're a dance teacher, a dance expert, you're suppose to guide your students, to make the best of them."
"Call me what you wish. Everyone of my students who I train to the end just ends up as someone who can dance, nothing more. There are some whom I wish they soar further, and these are the ones I told them they cannot make it."
"What do you mean?!"
"I may be an expert, but what gives me the right to dictate your ability? What gives me the right to tell you what you can and cannot do? It is just a simple challenge, but you chosed to heed another individual's advice than to believe in your own ability!"
"But don't you get it? You're the expert! Of course I listen to you! You mean to tell me I did not make it big because I believed in what you said? If I didn't believe you, I'd soar to great heights?"
"You may or may not soar, but at least you'd challenge yourself. Heeding my words, you totally placed your future in another person's hand. Too many people prefers to let others dictate the their life, and destroys whatever in-born ability they have within them.
Only one person truly knows your capability, and that person is yourself. You know your skills, you know your ability, you know your own body and mind and what they can do. No one has the rights to tell what to do with your skills, ability and body and mind's capacity and capability."
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Apartment vs House: Bringing Up A Child/Children
On a generalised debate, a house appreciates better than apartment and you don't have to pay for maintenance fee, while you need to pay a maintenance fee even if you don't stay in an apartment but improves in security compared to a house.
When we place another variable in, that is to bring up a child/children, a new debate comes up. Let's check the pros between a house and an apartment according to my opinion.
Pros for bringing up a kid in a house.
1. Private garden for the kids to do whatever he/she wants, ie cycling, digging up grass, playing ball, burning grass, etc.
2. Jumping up and down or wailing in the house does not usually disturb the neighbour.
3. A generally larger space in a house allows for guest sleepovers especially relatives' kids.
Pros for bringing up a kid in an apartment.
1. Facilities! Enough said. There's swimming pool, sometimes a gym, sometimes a daytime retail store, large compound to run around (albeit shared compound), etc.
2. Secured. With only one door (or two) to leave the apartment, can easily be watched, and no climbing out the roof to sneak out.
3. Closer neighbours. It's easier to find kids the same age to play with within a vicinity of 100 metres radius (or circumference since there's up and down involved) for them to play together. Better social linkage.
Just a short opinion above itself tend to show stronger emphasis towards bringing up kids in an apartment environment. Hmm... is it really? Next time I need to give an opinion on "Apartment vs House: For a Gardening Parent".
When we place another variable in, that is to bring up a child/children, a new debate comes up. Let's check the pros between a house and an apartment according to my opinion.
Pros for bringing up a kid in a house.
1. Private garden for the kids to do whatever he/she wants, ie cycling, digging up grass, playing ball, burning grass, etc.
2. Jumping up and down or wailing in the house does not usually disturb the neighbour.
3. A generally larger space in a house allows for guest sleepovers especially relatives' kids.
Pros for bringing up a kid in an apartment.
1. Facilities! Enough said. There's swimming pool, sometimes a gym, sometimes a daytime retail store, large compound to run around (albeit shared compound), etc.
2. Secured. With only one door (or two) to leave the apartment, can easily be watched, and no climbing out the roof to sneak out.
3. Closer neighbours. It's easier to find kids the same age to play with within a vicinity of 100 metres radius (or circumference since there's up and down involved) for them to play together. Better social linkage.
Just a short opinion above itself tend to show stronger emphasis towards bringing up kids in an apartment environment. Hmm... is it really? Next time I need to give an opinion on "Apartment vs House: For a Gardening Parent".
Monday, May 07, 2007
Careful What You Wish For
I have come to believe that babies, as they're growing up, tend to want to have environments where they can enjoy different feelings. One of them is a feeling of fear. I noticed that my kid have started to create a fear environment by re-enacting what scared him in the first place, a crow that was perched on an awning under a roof when it was raining. One look at the crow scared him that ever since then, he always pointed up our wardrobe and says "Bird, Bird!" and then hide away.
That above, is just a theory, but then what if kids can really 'see' things? One night when he was again going "Bird, Bird!" and pointing to the top of the wardrobe and hiding under the blanket, I looked up so again see nothing. So I said to myself, "Please let me see what my son sees." It was half-hearted and very doubtful, but when I looked up again, I saw it. Just a dark shadow perched at the spot where my son pointed at.
Then it really occured to me that yes, kids DO see things! Though panicked, I was in control enough to carry my son out to the living room where my wife was. I never mentioned any of these to anyone, but that shadow is not always on the wardrobe all the time. It was only some times that it appears, and whenever it does, my son does notice it and shies away. As for myself, it does appear at very awkward hours, usually at night, and sometimes when I accidentally wake up from sleep say 3:00am or 4:00am. Twice of thrice it appears at the foot of the bed, standing, but still it's just a shadow.
Unable to accept such things, I wished to have my ability to see it go away. It didn't happen until three days later. It's been a while now since I last saw it, but I do have to pity my son a lot whenever he points upwards again and goes into hiding, heart beating so fast. Now I'm just waiting for when he will eventually lose that 'gift' as I believe they do when they grow up.
The above story never happened, but it can.
That above, is just a theory, but then what if kids can really 'see' things? One night when he was again going "Bird, Bird!" and pointing to the top of the wardrobe and hiding under the blanket, I looked up so again see nothing. So I said to myself, "Please let me see what my son sees." It was half-hearted and very doubtful, but when I looked up again, I saw it. Just a dark shadow perched at the spot where my son pointed at.
Then it really occured to me that yes, kids DO see things! Though panicked, I was in control enough to carry my son out to the living room where my wife was. I never mentioned any of these to anyone, but that shadow is not always on the wardrobe all the time. It was only some times that it appears, and whenever it does, my son does notice it and shies away. As for myself, it does appear at very awkward hours, usually at night, and sometimes when I accidentally wake up from sleep say 3:00am or 4:00am. Twice of thrice it appears at the foot of the bed, standing, but still it's just a shadow.
Unable to accept such things, I wished to have my ability to see it go away. It didn't happen until three days later. It's been a while now since I last saw it, but I do have to pity my son a lot whenever he points upwards again and goes into hiding, heart beating so fast. Now I'm just waiting for when he will eventually lose that 'gift' as I believe they do when they grow up.
The above story never happened, but it can.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Problem with Blogging
I do read other people's blog and for those who writes a lot on reviews or observations, it falls to two types of bloggers. One who writes exactly what they observe and give an honest, non-biased opinion, totally clinical and rather professional,... and another who injects their own opinion that ends up somewhat injecting a boost in their ego as well.
Noticing this I reviewed my previous blogs on my own reviews and observations and sadly, I fall into the latter category. While I understand it's totally my opinion on what I observe, putting down... or placing a negative opinion on any specific subject tends to show "I'm superior, what I observe is inferior."
Therefore, from my next blog onwards, I will try my best to put in a very clinical view on what I review and observe. I may give an opinion, but will not try to place it as if I'm a Mr-Know-It-All. I am back, hopefully a better person and a better blogger.
Noticing this I reviewed my previous blogs on my own reviews and observations and sadly, I fall into the latter category. While I understand it's totally my opinion on what I observe, putting down... or placing a negative opinion on any specific subject tends to show "I'm superior, what I observe is inferior."
Therefore, from my next blog onwards, I will try my best to put in a very clinical view on what I review and observe. I may give an opinion, but will not try to place it as if I'm a Mr-Know-It-All. I am back, hopefully a better person and a better blogger.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Song-Attachment
Crap, for someone who hardly listens to malay songs, I find myself emotionally attached to the lyrics, tune and voice of Izwan Pilus's Indah Lelapku.
It gives me this story.
An accident happened. Gibran, on his motorcycle riding along the main road near his place, crashed into a Kenari whose driver didn't take a proper lookout when she came out of a corner. Shocked, Lissa, the driver of the car got out of her car to check on him. Lucky he hit the left passenger side of the car. Gibran was ok, though in pain, was able to get up. They left the motorbike there, front tyre gone and all, and proceeded to the nearest hospital. She found him troublesome due to her carelessness, but he wass mesmerised by her beauty to push the fault of the accident on her.
She paid for the damages and hospital bills. Only scratches and lumps on his thighs and body, otherwise everything is ok. Friendship ensued,... which turned romantic as days go by. By the third month, they found comfort in each other. They have their special restaurant, their special song and their romantic spot to spend time together, the beach. The beach, just to enjoy the sounds of the wave and the wind, to just sit near each other, no need for conversation, just the joy of feeling the warmth and companion of each other.
Just happens that one day it started to rain, they ran back to his bike. Might as well spend time indoors, to their special restaurant. On the way there, along a long road, a car swerved out of a corner without looking. Gibran only manage to see a flash of light as he hits the car.
He wakes up in the hospital. Asked for Lissa. Doctor was baffled. "You got into a bad accident, a bad blow to the head. Physically, everything is ok. You've been in a coma for three months!" As soon as he could, he went to the beach; the special place with Lissa. No one there, but wait, someone about 30 feet away walking towards the edge of the water. Lissa! Before he could even call her, she turned around as if answering someone's shout. A man came out, ran to her, hugged her, and a little girl comes running and hugged both of them at their legs.
Nyatalah dia hanya dalam mimpiku
Tak bisa aku memilik cinta hati
Nyatalah dia hanya kekasih pelukku
Sampai di sini kisah aku dengannya
Dalam lelapku ini...
Terbayang wajah seakan puteri
Dan hilang...
Segala rupa yang telahku bayang
Dan hilang....
Segala rasa yang telahku rasa
Dan hilang....
Segala semua harapanku
Dan hilang...
Cerita indah dalam tidurku
Dan hilang....
Segala rupa yang telahku bayang
It gives me this story.
An accident happened. Gibran, on his motorcycle riding along the main road near his place, crashed into a Kenari whose driver didn't take a proper lookout when she came out of a corner. Shocked, Lissa, the driver of the car got out of her car to check on him. Lucky he hit the left passenger side of the car. Gibran was ok, though in pain, was able to get up. They left the motorbike there, front tyre gone and all, and proceeded to the nearest hospital. She found him troublesome due to her carelessness, but he wass mesmerised by her beauty to push the fault of the accident on her.
She paid for the damages and hospital bills. Only scratches and lumps on his thighs and body, otherwise everything is ok. Friendship ensued,... which turned romantic as days go by. By the third month, they found comfort in each other. They have their special restaurant, their special song and their romantic spot to spend time together, the beach. The beach, just to enjoy the sounds of the wave and the wind, to just sit near each other, no need for conversation, just the joy of feeling the warmth and companion of each other.
Just happens that one day it started to rain, they ran back to his bike. Might as well spend time indoors, to their special restaurant. On the way there, along a long road, a car swerved out of a corner without looking. Gibran only manage to see a flash of light as he hits the car.
He wakes up in the hospital. Asked for Lissa. Doctor was baffled. "You got into a bad accident, a bad blow to the head. Physically, everything is ok. You've been in a coma for three months!" As soon as he could, he went to the beach; the special place with Lissa. No one there, but wait, someone about 30 feet away walking towards the edge of the water. Lissa! Before he could even call her, she turned around as if answering someone's shout. A man came out, ran to her, hugged her, and a little girl comes running and hugged both of them at their legs.
Nyatalah dia hanya dalam mimpiku
Tak bisa aku memilik cinta hati
Nyatalah dia hanya kekasih pelukku
Sampai di sini kisah aku dengannya
Dalam lelapku ini...
Terbayang wajah seakan puteri
Dan hilang...
Segala rupa yang telahku bayang
Dan hilang....
Segala rasa yang telahku rasa
Dan hilang....
Segala semua harapanku
Dan hilang...
Cerita indah dalam tidurku
Dan hilang....
Segala rupa yang telahku bayang
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Inferior
Day 1
It's not that I don't have the looks. I think I look presentable enough, but I just don't earn enough to really keep my girlfriend happy. I know a lot of people asked me to find another suitable girl, but I love her and I really do think she loves me. I don't blame her for her expensive taste. It is just her lifestyle, not her attitude. I should be very happy that she eventually chosed to accept me into her life after two years of friendship.
Two weeks back, she told me that at times when I'm busy at night with my second job, she just had to find some social friends. Now she have been going out with one guy in particular quite often. Him, I have no worries about. He has exactly what I don't have... money and time, but he don't have the looks. Still, she is happy to go out with him, nothing romantic, it's purely a mutual social friendship. He buys her a lot of stuff, and though she forcefully told him not to, she still keeps them. She told me not to worry, I'm in her heart. She only takes whatever he gives sincerely, and she does not flirt with him at all. I still have her. I'm happy.
Day 2
I'm not happy, and this is not funny! How the hell can she fall for him? Why did she do this, calling me up late last night just to tell me that she may be falling for him?! And now she's cancelling our dinner tonight, saying that she wants to go out with a girlfriend who just dropped into town just for a day. When I asked her if she's lying and going out with him instead, she told me 'No!'... but I know better.
Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you so much for doing this to me. Why didn't you just tell me from the start that my lack of money can cause all this?! Anyway, it's dinner time now. I've sent a nice bouquet of flowers and a nice heart shaped chocolate cake I baked myself in the afternoon. Hope you enjoy them. Hope you enjoy him and be happy with him. I'm not for you. Happy Valentine's Day.
....Shatter of glass. A thud. People screaming.....
Day 3
It's murder! Someone pushed my boyfriend out his apartment! Police is saying it might be suicide but I know him well enough. He loves me, and I love him so so much. God I miss him! I should have just invited him along to see Maggie, but she was too inconsolable, having just divorced her husband, stopping by KL on the way back to her hometown. Peter called me this morning saying that he feels as if he's interfering with my life. He said he adores me, and tried to 'buy my heart' with money, but he feels that he cannot buy love and has stepped back. I really thought he looked at me like a sister, the way he treats me is no different from how my brother does. Such a fool I am for not realising.
Don't worry, honey. No one can take us apart. We'll be together again tonight. I'll use the same 'door' that you were forced into. I don't care about the murderer, all I want is you. Wait for me.
It's not that I don't have the looks. I think I look presentable enough, but I just don't earn enough to really keep my girlfriend happy. I know a lot of people asked me to find another suitable girl, but I love her and I really do think she loves me. I don't blame her for her expensive taste. It is just her lifestyle, not her attitude. I should be very happy that she eventually chosed to accept me into her life after two years of friendship.
Two weeks back, she told me that at times when I'm busy at night with my second job, she just had to find some social friends. Now she have been going out with one guy in particular quite often. Him, I have no worries about. He has exactly what I don't have... money and time, but he don't have the looks. Still, she is happy to go out with him, nothing romantic, it's purely a mutual social friendship. He buys her a lot of stuff, and though she forcefully told him not to, she still keeps them. She told me not to worry, I'm in her heart. She only takes whatever he gives sincerely, and she does not flirt with him at all. I still have her. I'm happy.
Day 2
I'm not happy, and this is not funny! How the hell can she fall for him? Why did she do this, calling me up late last night just to tell me that she may be falling for him?! And now she's cancelling our dinner tonight, saying that she wants to go out with a girlfriend who just dropped into town just for a day. When I asked her if she's lying and going out with him instead, she told me 'No!'... but I know better.
Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you so much for doing this to me. Why didn't you just tell me from the start that my lack of money can cause all this?! Anyway, it's dinner time now. I've sent a nice bouquet of flowers and a nice heart shaped chocolate cake I baked myself in the afternoon. Hope you enjoy them. Hope you enjoy him and be happy with him. I'm not for you. Happy Valentine's Day.
Day 3
It's murder! Someone pushed my boyfriend out his apartment! Police is saying it might be suicide but I know him well enough. He loves me, and I love him so so much. God I miss him! I should have just invited him along to see Maggie, but she was too inconsolable, having just divorced her husband, stopping by KL on the way back to her hometown. Peter called me this morning saying that he feels as if he's interfering with my life. He said he adores me, and tried to 'buy my heart' with money, but he feels that he cannot buy love and has stepped back. I really thought he looked at me like a sister, the way he treats me is no different from how my brother does. Such a fool I am for not realising.
Don't worry, honey. No one can take us apart. We'll be together again tonight. I'll use the same 'door' that you were forced into. I don't care about the murderer, all I want is you. Wait for me.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Psychology in Lifts
You know how we all hate it when we are about to get out of lifts and others are shoving themselves in?? But sometimes we end up doing the same instead?! We're not gonna talk about this, but let's check this one out.
1. Stand or Lean
When you enter an empty lift, where do you stand in the lift? And do you stand straight or you lean against something? For myself, I nearly always stand at back left corner and lean to my left (lift wall supporting left shoulder). Can I actually come up with a psychological study on this preference of a) choice of location to stand in lift and b) to stand straight or lean? Anyway, what is your choice?
2. Pressing A Number
When you enter a lift with some other people (maybe 3-4), do you settle yourself nicely in the lift and then only press to the desired floor, or do you press first before you settle yourself? For myself, I nearly always press first the moment I enter the lift before settling myself where to stand. What do you do?
3. You and the Opposite Gender
If someone of your opposite gender stands exactly centre left of the lift, do you stand on the center right of the lift to sort-of "balance" the placement of people in the lift, or do you go about your business standing wherever you want? Just say that you stand on the centre right, with just the same distance from the lift door as the person beside you. Who leaves first? You attempt to leave first or the other person leaves first (ie reaching the Ground floor when you know both will leave at the same floor)? For myself, I nearly always allow someone parallel or in front of me to leave first and then my turn, unless I'm with my family in which case I'll just move towards the door to leave asap.
4. Idle Time in the Lift
At least 80% of the time, someone MUST make themself preoccupied while waiting to reach the desired floor. The other 20% of the time they just stand/lean there like a statue. Preoccupying means they fiddle with the phone, fiddle with their hair, looking up at the numbers (showing what floor lift is currently at), etc. For myself, if I know I don't need to fiddle with my phone, I nearly always looking up at the numbers. That's the only thing I can think of doing while waiting.
5. Aura
I'm sure you have been in a position where there are about 5 people in the lift and you are at the centre (since the other took the corners). How do you feel? Do you feel as if the two dudes/dudettes behind you are looking at you? Do you feel uneasy by the personal aura of four people intruding into your own personal aura? Or you don't even give a darn because you're aura-challenged? :P For myself, yes, I do feel uncomfortable at times, maybe due to the fact that standing in the center of the lift, I can't possibly lean against anything. How about you?
This is purely an opinion study I'd like to test because I travel up and down lifts daily as I need to meet tenants, contractors, do some rounding of the building, etc.
1. Stand or Lean
When you enter an empty lift, where do you stand in the lift? And do you stand straight or you lean against something? For myself, I nearly always stand at back left corner and lean to my left (lift wall supporting left shoulder). Can I actually come up with a psychological study on this preference of a) choice of location to stand in lift and b) to stand straight or lean? Anyway, what is your choice?
2. Pressing A Number
When you enter a lift with some other people (maybe 3-4), do you settle yourself nicely in the lift and then only press to the desired floor, or do you press first before you settle yourself? For myself, I nearly always press first the moment I enter the lift before settling myself where to stand. What do you do?
3. You and the Opposite Gender
If someone of your opposite gender stands exactly centre left of the lift, do you stand on the center right of the lift to sort-of "balance" the placement of people in the lift, or do you go about your business standing wherever you want? Just say that you stand on the centre right, with just the same distance from the lift door as the person beside you. Who leaves first? You attempt to leave first or the other person leaves first (ie reaching the Ground floor when you know both will leave at the same floor)? For myself, I nearly always allow someone parallel or in front of me to leave first and then my turn, unless I'm with my family in which case I'll just move towards the door to leave asap.
4. Idle Time in the Lift
At least 80% of the time, someone MUST make themself preoccupied while waiting to reach the desired floor. The other 20% of the time they just stand/lean there like a statue. Preoccupying means they fiddle with the phone, fiddle with their hair, looking up at the numbers (showing what floor lift is currently at), etc. For myself, if I know I don't need to fiddle with my phone, I nearly always looking up at the numbers. That's the only thing I can think of doing while waiting.
5. Aura
I'm sure you have been in a position where there are about 5 people in the lift and you are at the centre (since the other took the corners). How do you feel? Do you feel as if the two dudes/dudettes behind you are looking at you? Do you feel uneasy by the personal aura of four people intruding into your own personal aura? Or you don't even give a darn because you're aura-challenged? :P For myself, yes, I do feel uncomfortable at times, maybe due to the fact that standing in the center of the lift, I can't possibly lean against anything. How about you?
This is purely an opinion study I'd like to test because I travel up and down lifts daily as I need to meet tenants, contractors, do some rounding of the building, etc.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Sad State of Modern Living
Until today I still receive calls from hotel membership people asking me to be part of their hotel membership. Eeee.... horribly constructed sentence. Anyway, the method of selling is seriously putting into the subconscious minds on the "proper" modern living everyone should enjoy.
The varieties of selling point are as follows: -
1. Elegant and Luxurious
"Don't you want to spend time away from home and stay somewhere elegant and luxurious? We have a huge room, with amazing view, king-sized bed, etc yada yada." Though I accept and agree to some people's need to feel rich (like some of my friends going to car showroom to test out cars) I do think also that you cannot have that feeling daily, or weekly or even monthly in fact! Too much of a good thing will make you yearn it more and more.
No problem if you yearn being rich and actually put an effort to it, but most people wanna feel rich without putting the effort, so what happens?! Loans! Or the better word is being in debt! And this is for things that depreciate in value. I don't need to talk finance here, you know where this leads.
2. Shopping Malls Are Just Across The Street
"Sir, this hotel in Bangkok is located right in front of the shopping mall for you to do your shopping!" Shopping in this modern lifestyle has become a hobby. It's like "Hey, man, what you doing this weekend?" "I'm gonna be fishing, or maybe do a little bit of reading, and if my friends call me out, I guess we'll head to snooker" or "I'm going shopping, wha'dya think!?". I'm still wondering why "shopping" books are not listed under Hobbies categories in bookshops. "Idiot's Guide to Shopping" "Learn Shopping Today!" "Master Shopping in 24 Hours"
3. You eat for two, but only pay for one! You, as a member, gets to eat free of charge!
I know for a fact that most 4-5 star hotels charges at least RM60 per head (exclusive of 15% service and government tax). I always tell them that I will not eat in hotel at all for that kind o ridiculous pricing, even at RM69 for two people because it's totally absurb. Hotel food is cooked for the masses meaning it's not gonna be as delicious as compared to people who cook one meal at a time for a maximum of 4 people to eat. Luxury food, people, is to eat DELICIOUS food with someone special. The hotel ambience just doesn't meet the pricing they place on the food. So here, "Eating at hotels" is supposed to be a modern lifestyle?!?
4. Can't think of anything more from the conversation.
The varieties of selling point are as follows: -
1. Elegant and Luxurious
"Don't you want to spend time away from home and stay somewhere elegant and luxurious? We have a huge room, with amazing view, king-sized bed, etc yada yada." Though I accept and agree to some people's need to feel rich (like some of my friends going to car showroom to test out cars) I do think also that you cannot have that feeling daily, or weekly or even monthly in fact! Too much of a good thing will make you yearn it more and more.
No problem if you yearn being rich and actually put an effort to it, but most people wanna feel rich without putting the effort, so what happens?! Loans! Or the better word is being in debt! And this is for things that depreciate in value. I don't need to talk finance here, you know where this leads.
2. Shopping Malls Are Just Across The Street
"Sir, this hotel in Bangkok is located right in front of the shopping mall for you to do your shopping!" Shopping in this modern lifestyle has become a hobby. It's like "Hey, man, what you doing this weekend?" "I'm gonna be fishing, or maybe do a little bit of reading, and if my friends call me out, I guess we'll head to snooker" or "I'm going shopping, wha'dya think!?". I'm still wondering why "shopping" books are not listed under Hobbies categories in bookshops. "Idiot's Guide to Shopping" "Learn Shopping Today!" "Master Shopping in 24 Hours"
3. You eat for two, but only pay for one! You, as a member, gets to eat free of charge!
I know for a fact that most 4-5 star hotels charges at least RM60 per head (exclusive of 15% service and government tax). I always tell them that I will not eat in hotel at all for that kind o ridiculous pricing, even at RM69 for two people because it's totally absurb. Hotel food is cooked for the masses meaning it's not gonna be as delicious as compared to people who cook one meal at a time for a maximum of 4 people to eat. Luxury food, people, is to eat DELICIOUS food with someone special. The hotel ambience just doesn't meet the pricing they place on the food. So here, "Eating at hotels" is supposed to be a modern lifestyle?!?
4. Can't think of anything more from the conversation.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Fall
The are three things that I consciously fear; death of myself, death of a loved one and 'falling'. Fear of death to self started since I got married. Death of a loved one is ongoing. 'Falling', this one is a fear that has followed be consciously since secondary school. Why I'm writing this today is because this fear showed itself in full face by a friend.
I have just been contacted by a '3-months of lost contact' friend who 'fell'. You 'Fall' when you have nothing to live for. You 'Fall' when you want to get out of your current 'life situation'. You 'Fall' when you're dealth with a shock for which the impact you are not ready for.
No names, but description yes. A nice girl, very hardworking and always takes care of her image, never skipped a prayer, leading a social lifestyle up to drinking tea/coffee till late at nights and dancing once or twice a week with gal-friends or social friends at discos. Work stress led to... drinking, smoking and drugs (weeds and pills). No more prayers, no more replying friend's sms or phonecalls, just releasing stress after work at pubs/bars being drunk. That's a BIG fall for someone to make a complete u-turn in life!
The only light in this is... she realised it, yesterday. First step to climbing out of a hole no matter how deep you fell. There is absolutely no one else who can help a fallen person other than that person. I can throw a rope, or heck, get a helicopter and a nice matress tied down to lower into the hold, but if a fallen person doesn't even wanna get up, all help is useless. The funny thing is, these people don't realise that being in the bleakest moment has one thing that everyone else don't have: Things can only get better. Problem with human being is that they are contented with "living the moment" that they see no future, or don't even strive for it.
Just to share a little from the show "Secret" which I'd rather call "A Philosophical View on Law of Attraction". Where we are now is due to what we did in the past, and what we are doing now SHOULD be what we want in our future. If we fail to do something for our future, then we are living the moment purely to kill time or fill-up whatever idle time we have with things we like that does not contribute to anything. It's no different from a parking-lot attendant sitting in his booth and not thinking of changing job ever and not even reading a book/newspaper/magazine during his idle time and prefers to day-dream only.
Please take care of your life, seriously. It totally begins with the man in the mirror, no one else.
I have just been contacted by a '3-months of lost contact' friend who 'fell'. You 'Fall' when you have nothing to live for. You 'Fall' when you want to get out of your current 'life situation'. You 'Fall' when you're dealth with a shock for which the impact you are not ready for.
No names, but description yes. A nice girl, very hardworking and always takes care of her image, never skipped a prayer, leading a social lifestyle up to drinking tea/coffee till late at nights and dancing once or twice a week with gal-friends or social friends at discos. Work stress led to... drinking, smoking and drugs (weeds and pills). No more prayers, no more replying friend's sms or phonecalls, just releasing stress after work at pubs/bars being drunk. That's a BIG fall for someone to make a complete u-turn in life!
The only light in this is... she realised it, yesterday. First step to climbing out of a hole no matter how deep you fell. There is absolutely no one else who can help a fallen person other than that person. I can throw a rope, or heck, get a helicopter and a nice matress tied down to lower into the hold, but if a fallen person doesn't even wanna get up, all help is useless. The funny thing is, these people don't realise that being in the bleakest moment has one thing that everyone else don't have: Things can only get better. Problem with human being is that they are contented with "living the moment" that they see no future, or don't even strive for it.
Just to share a little from the show "Secret" which I'd rather call "A Philosophical View on Law of Attraction". Where we are now is due to what we did in the past, and what we are doing now SHOULD be what we want in our future. If we fail to do something for our future, then we are living the moment purely to kill time or fill-up whatever idle time we have with things we like that does not contribute to anything. It's no different from a parking-lot attendant sitting in his booth and not thinking of changing job ever and not even reading a book/newspaper/magazine during his idle time and prefers to day-dream only.
Please take care of your life, seriously. It totally begins with the man in the mirror, no one else.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Why You Cut Queue??
The strangest thing happened.
I was at my office lobby and I saw a guy entered the lift, so I pressed the UP button so that I can catch up with the same lift. It was just a 2 second wait.
Anyway, I got into the lift, saw that he pressed 9. I pressed 4 to my floor. Then as the lift opened at Level 4, he blocked the way and say "Eh, why you cut queue ah? I enter lift first, I go out first lah, why you want to go out first?" which I replied, "My floor is on the way to your floor what?" and he lambasted "I go out at Level 9 first, then you go out at Level 4. Don't cut queue!"
Yep, the strangest thing happened, in my mind that is, coz' I was just thinking what-if he actually did that.
I was at my office lobby and I saw a guy entered the lift, so I pressed the UP button so that I can catch up with the same lift. It was just a 2 second wait.
Anyway, I got into the lift, saw that he pressed 9. I pressed 4 to my floor. Then as the lift opened at Level 4, he blocked the way and say "Eh, why you cut queue ah? I enter lift first, I go out first lah, why you want to go out first?" which I replied, "My floor is on the way to your floor what?" and he lambasted "I go out at Level 9 first, then you go out at Level 4. Don't cut queue!"
Yep, the strangest thing happened, in my mind that is, coz' I was just thinking what-if he actually did that.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Craving
I sometimes don't understand why people
need to spend so much money on things. Just
to be 'in', they think these items can actually
satisfy the society's view that they are cool. In
my opinion, there is seriously no need to be
craving for attention. It really doesn't matter
for you if they find you childish still eating
KFC or McDonalds' ice-cream in public. Just
as some people who suddenly change as
soon as they get outside their home, it's like
as if they have to lead dual life. This cannot be
possible. Please read first word of every line.
need to spend so much money on things. Just
to be 'in', they think these items can actually
satisfy the society's view that they are cool. In
my opinion, there is seriously no need to be
craving for attention. It really doesn't matter
for you if they find you childish still eating
KFC or McDonalds' ice-cream in public. Just
as some people who suddenly change as
soon as they get outside their home, it's like
as if they have to lead dual life. This cannot be
possible. Please read first word of every line.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Hidden Costs in Buying Properties
Though I'm in the real estate industry and understand the costs involved in buying a property, I was caught offguard at some of the other hidden cost (related to property, but not really within property line) that was involved. I'd now like to give a run-down on what you should be expected to pay when buying a property.
Property Price - RM200,000
Downpayment - RM20,000 (10% of total cost)
Bank Loan - RM180,000
*Note: Most of the time new properties have their own panel lawyers and banks, and most of the time, the developer pays for the Lawyer Fee for the Sales & Purchase Agreement.
What comes out from your pocket....
Downpayment for property = RM20,000
Lawyer Fee for S&P = RM2,000++
Stamp Duty for S&P = RM3,000
Disbursement for S&P = RM200 - RM5,000 (here, the Lawyer have a field trip on charging exorbitant price for disbursement ie. RM70 for faxing, RM60 for editing, etc.. very similar to what an accounting firm or consulting firm would charge for disbursement)
MRTA = RM2,000++
Lawyer Fee for Bank Loan Agreement = RM2,000++
Stamp Duty for Loan Agreement = RM900
Disbursement for Loan Agreement = RM200 - RM5,000 (again, lawyers can go wild)
And went wild my developer's lawyer did!!
Belardy photostat and phonecalls costs them RM60 and RM70 each! I guessed they must have used superbly high quality ink extracted from Mont Blanc pen, and importing the said photostat machine from Australia and therefore there are shipping involved.
Basically, with the developer already paying lawyer's fee for S&P, my disbursement for the S&P itself is RM2,400+... and lawyer fees + disbursement for loan is RM3,000+.
In total I had to actually pay an extra RM5,500+ apart from my downpayment and MRTA (though lawyer fee's paid by developer).
In a nutshell, beware the "hidden cost" which is actually the Disbursement! That's a really scary word now.
Property Price - RM200,000
Downpayment - RM20,000 (10% of total cost)
Bank Loan - RM180,000
*Note: Most of the time new properties have their own panel lawyers and banks, and most of the time, the developer pays for the Lawyer Fee for the Sales & Purchase Agreement.
What comes out from your pocket....
Downpayment for property = RM20,000
Lawyer Fee for S&P = RM2,000++
Stamp Duty for S&P = RM3,000
Disbursement for S&P = RM200 - RM5,000 (here, the Lawyer have a field trip on charging exorbitant price for disbursement ie. RM70 for faxing, RM60 for editing, etc.. very similar to what an accounting firm or consulting firm would charge for disbursement)
MRTA = RM2,000++
Lawyer Fee for Bank Loan Agreement = RM2,000++
Stamp Duty for Loan Agreement = RM900
Disbursement for Loan Agreement = RM200 - RM5,000 (again, lawyers can go wild)
And went wild my developer's lawyer did!!
Belardy photostat and phonecalls costs them RM60 and RM70 each! I guessed they must have used superbly high quality ink extracted from Mont Blanc pen, and importing the said photostat machine from Australia and therefore there are shipping involved.
Basically, with the developer already paying lawyer's fee for S&P, my disbursement for the S&P itself is RM2,400+... and lawyer fees + disbursement for loan is RM3,000+.
In total I had to actually pay an extra RM5,500+ apart from my downpayment and MRTA (though lawyer fee's paid by developer).
In a nutshell, beware the "hidden cost" which is actually the Disbursement! That's a really scary word now.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Wife / Daughter
Let me give you this scenario, albeit it being a little evil and totally weird. It is very predictable, but I'm more interested in the choice you'll make.
Imagine yourself as a guy, just about to get married in a week or two. One night you have a dream, you dreamnt coming out of the toilet after a bath and you see your four years old son, playing right outside your toilet door. His fig-leaf like birthmark very visible on the right side of his neck. You say "Hey, play somewhere else." and then you see your two year old daughter just lying down on the bed. Then you look around for your wife, and you ask your son, "Son, where's mommy?". He gives you this weird look, and then you realise... she died giving birth to your daughter. It was a very difficult delivery, but your daughter managed to pull through. The dream ends.
Now, imagine yourself already married, in the hospital room holding back panic attack seeing your wife about to give birth. She pushes.... and your baby boy comes safely into the world. The doctor hands him to your wife, and then both of you takes a closer look at him, and you see a fig-leaf like birthmark on the right side of his neck.
Will you let your wife conceive again?
Imagine yourself as a guy, just about to get married in a week or two. One night you have a dream, you dreamnt coming out of the toilet after a bath and you see your four years old son, playing right outside your toilet door. His fig-leaf like birthmark very visible on the right side of his neck. You say "Hey, play somewhere else." and then you see your two year old daughter just lying down on the bed. Then you look around for your wife, and you ask your son, "Son, where's mommy?". He gives you this weird look, and then you realise... she died giving birth to your daughter. It was a very difficult delivery, but your daughter managed to pull through. The dream ends.
Now, imagine yourself already married, in the hospital room holding back panic attack seeing your wife about to give birth. She pushes.... and your baby boy comes safely into the world. The doctor hands him to your wife, and then both of you takes a closer look at him, and you see a fig-leaf like birthmark on the right side of his neck.
Will you let your wife conceive again?
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Something Truly Remarkable
Dear all,
At 11:23pm today, Thursday 18th January 2007, something truly remarkable has happened!! My blue pen, a PaperMate Kilometrico Fine, that can write for many kilometers has finally ran out of ink!
Long Live Kilometrico! Long Live The Pen!
At 11:23pm today, Thursday 18th January 2007, something truly remarkable has happened!! My blue pen, a PaperMate Kilometrico Fine, that can write for many kilometers has finally ran out of ink!
Long Live Kilometrico! Long Live The Pen!
Friday, January 05, 2007
Reunion
Back in December 2005, my high school friends and I had a 10th year reunion, back at school. It was nice to meet old friends again, coz' the last big reunion before that was on a 3rd year reunion. So, basically it's like 7 years since quite a lot of us meet up.
I was having a talk with a friend (who is now a lawyer for my company, hahaha.... cronism!!) and yeah, we did agree that as time goes by, marriages becomes reunion. Next week, a friend of mine is getting married and word has it that quite a lot of ex-school mates will be attending. I guess from now that, that's the only time for ex-school mates to meet... during marriages.
Hmm... I wonder if they considered my marriage to be a reunion in the past. :D
I was having a talk with a friend (who is now a lawyer for my company, hahaha.... cronism!!) and yeah, we did agree that as time goes by, marriages becomes reunion. Next week, a friend of mine is getting married and word has it that quite a lot of ex-school mates will be attending. I guess from now that, that's the only time for ex-school mates to meet... during marriages.
Hmm... I wonder if they considered my marriage to be a reunion in the past. :D
Thursday, January 04, 2007
2006 : A Review
Darn, I can't make Private Posts, or maybe I just don't know how to. Anyone can help? I'm using the New Blogger.
Nearly everyone else would look back a year ago and see what they have accomplished, or not accomplished in 2006. I will not look back at my resolution, however, not to gloat, I will list what I have achieved in 2006. This is merely a listing for myself, to look back in the future (if I do that is).
Achievements
1. Bought a shop lot
2. Started a business
3.year anniversary
4. Still eating KFC healthily. :P
Shortcomings
1. Spending way above my budget
2. Not earning RM100 x my age
3. Several 'lazy spells' during working hours
4. Wasted too much time on games
This year,... one main goal is to reduce Item 1. Others, err... we'll go by ear. :D
Nearly everyone else would look back a year ago and see what they have accomplished, or not accomplished in 2006. I will not look back at my resolution, however, not to gloat, I will list what I have achieved in 2006. This is merely a listing for myself, to look back in the future (if I do that is).
Achievements
1. Bought a shop lot
2. Started a business
3.
4. Still eating KFC healthily. :P
Shortcomings
1. Spending way above my budget
2. Not earning RM100 x my age
3. Several 'lazy spells' during working hours
4. Wasted too much time on games
This year,... one main goal is to reduce Item 1. Others, err... we'll go by ear. :D
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Reality Crumbled
I have absolutely no excuse why I didn't update my blog timely... but if I DO HAVE, it'll be the lack of leisure time since working part-time equals working full time (placing all schedules on the days I do work) and the other non-working day was on processing my business.
It is Saturday morning now, and I feel better. The memory of yesterday is still here, but not the affect of having such a memory. What I felt yesterday afternoon was totally different.
We humans have this ability of creating reality out of what we perceive from our experiences, our understanding of the way things work and from what we gather through our senses. Without writing it bluntly, here's how a part of my reality crumbled.
I have a friend, a mother of two, to which I've known for nearly two years. We communicate quite frequently, well, yeah of course, since we're also colleagues. Colleagues usually cannot be friends, but those that do are very few. For me, I only have two colleagues I consider a friend. Now, having a friend, we conjure a reality on that person, based on our interactions with that person and whatever else we assume them to be.
Well, that reality crumbled. A totally bizzare act that she did totally caught me off my toes. It affected the other friend as well, but the other friend faced it more like a shock. For me, it totally wiped out 'respect' and affected me in a way that I totally lost the appetite for lunch, and the memory of it haunt me right into last night.
Jealousy?? No, if you're thinking I'm jealous, change your assumption. The knowledge of her act and the confirmation of it made me turn around, look around, wondering what other realities that I conjured that may be false. What other reality that is going to crumble as well. Making a quick check that my stronger convictions of my conjured reality are still intact and solid.
To describe how the reality crumbled, I have to give examples. It's like a parent who has a grown-up child giving monthly finance from his/her job in another state, and everyone commended that he/she's a very discipline and kind child. Reality conjured by the parent is that of a responsible and hard-working child, and when reality crumbled, the child is actually good yes, but the monies are collected from doing vice.
If you watch the show Prison Break, it's like the wife thinking that her husband is still not back from war, when he's actually in prison. It's like how some parents perceive the 'good' in their maid from what they see physically, but the maid turns out to be a demon.
Take care of the reality you conjured...
It is Saturday morning now, and I feel better. The memory of yesterday is still here, but not the affect of having such a memory. What I felt yesterday afternoon was totally different.
We humans have this ability of creating reality out of what we perceive from our experiences, our understanding of the way things work and from what we gather through our senses. Without writing it bluntly, here's how a part of my reality crumbled.
I have a friend, a mother of two, to which I've known for nearly two years. We communicate quite frequently, well, yeah of course, since we're also colleagues. Colleagues usually cannot be friends, but those that do are very few. For me, I only have two colleagues I consider a friend. Now, having a friend, we conjure a reality on that person, based on our interactions with that person and whatever else we assume them to be.
Well, that reality crumbled. A totally bizzare act that she did totally caught me off my toes. It affected the other friend as well, but the other friend faced it more like a shock. For me, it totally wiped out 'respect' and affected me in a way that I totally lost the appetite for lunch, and the memory of it haunt me right into last night.
Jealousy?? No, if you're thinking I'm jealous, change your assumption. The knowledge of her act and the confirmation of it made me turn around, look around, wondering what other realities that I conjured that may be false. What other reality that is going to crumble as well. Making a quick check that my stronger convictions of my conjured reality are still intact and solid.
To describe how the reality crumbled, I have to give examples. It's like a parent who has a grown-up child giving monthly finance from his/her job in another state, and everyone commended that he/she's a very discipline and kind child. Reality conjured by the parent is that of a responsible and hard-working child, and when reality crumbled, the child is actually good yes, but the monies are collected from doing vice.
If you watch the show Prison Break, it's like the wife thinking that her husband is still not back from war, when he's actually in prison. It's like how some parents perceive the 'good' in their maid from what they see physically, but the maid turns out to be a demon.
Take care of the reality you conjured...
Friday, November 03, 2006
Value of "Time with Family"
Definition: "Time with Family" is my definition is the time that I have family within my vicinity, not necessarily means that I must DO something together with family. Driving to go somewhere with family in the car is also considered time with family. So is lining up at the bank with family is still time with family.
This is another answer to the question that people have asked before, "What's the difference between being single and being married?".
I have been approached by a company who is offering me about 50% increase than my current pay. I'm more interested in the challenge than the pay actually. Apart from cleaning 'dirty laundry' from previous failed personnel whose place I'm suppose to take over, the deadline is very tight and that's part of the challenge that made me interested. At least I can put another notch to one part of my skillset.
Since they did ask me what I want to ask for salary, I began to think properly on the value of losing my night time with family. Deadline will always mean either staying back at work or bringing work home. Bring work home IS time with family, but I'd consider it more of a veiled time. So, tabulating the distance, the toll cost, lack of night time with family and stress level, I asked for approximately 130% increase from my current salary. Even then if they agree, I'd had to rethink if the extra money is really worth it. But they didn't get back to me, and its been two days. So I guess their decision is made up. And my decision is made up too should they really come back.
I'm happy where I am currently. That's another key difference between being single and having a family. Being single, I want to get the best value for my services and willing to travel a lot or staying back late, but not anymore. Those who are married understands this, and those who are still single, you will find this a very pleasant feeling to be part of your married life.
Please pray that I'll be like this eternally. :D
This is another answer to the question that people have asked before, "What's the difference between being single and being married?".
I have been approached by a company who is offering me about 50% increase than my current pay. I'm more interested in the challenge than the pay actually. Apart from cleaning 'dirty laundry' from previous failed personnel whose place I'm suppose to take over, the deadline is very tight and that's part of the challenge that made me interested. At least I can put another notch to one part of my skillset.
Since they did ask me what I want to ask for salary, I began to think properly on the value of losing my night time with family. Deadline will always mean either staying back at work or bringing work home. Bring work home IS time with family, but I'd consider it more of a veiled time. So, tabulating the distance, the toll cost, lack of night time with family and stress level, I asked for approximately 130% increase from my current salary. Even then if they agree, I'd had to rethink if the extra money is really worth it. But they didn't get back to me, and its been two days. So I guess their decision is made up. And my decision is made up too should they really come back.
I'm happy where I am currently. That's another key difference between being single and having a family. Being single, I want to get the best value for my services and willing to travel a lot or staying back late, but not anymore. Those who are married understands this, and those who are still single, you will find this a very pleasant feeling to be part of your married life.
Please pray that I'll be like this eternally. :D
Thursday, October 12, 2006
She*l, you sux!
Dear She*l Management,
I came across your advertisement on tv as well as the newspapers, where you are advertising about your superbly fast petrol kiosk fuel-up service, especially with the usage of credit cards. It showed that the parking attendant was just about to wash the windscreen when the car sped off. I was so elated that I drove to one of your kiosk to fuel up. Since I don't really need to fuel up, I put in just RM10 worth. Here's what I did.
I stopped my car. Pulled out my wallet. Called the attendant to wash my windscreen. Took out my card and slot in the card reader. Authorised and then I fueled up. To my utter amazement, he finished washing my windscreen even before I pressed on the pump!! I got a little disappointed, but then I thought, maybe your system was a little slow today.
The next day I went back to the same petrol kiosk, and again I did the same as the above. Same result! This time I was only a little bit faster, that I was at RM2.00++ when he finished washing my windows. What gives?! I was getting angry, but I cooled down. Okay, maybe this kiosk is not as efficient as the others.
A week later, I went to another kiosk. Same story. Again I went to another kiosk, same story also. Altogether I went to 8 different kiosks and I have failed on all occasions to drive off before the attendant manage to place the 'washing rod' on my windscreen! I've even tried changing my method, by asking them to wash only after I've placed the pump into the car. But no,... before I could place the pump back, they're done washing.
Then it dawned on me that the only logical explanation is that your company have deliberately lied to its customers, and on national tv and newspaper!! What a shame on you, She*l!! A totally misleading advertisement!
I hereby demand my money back for a total of RM160.00 which I must receive within two weeks time. Failure to do so will cause me to write a letter to the Ministry of Consumer Affairs, and take you to court for damages multiple times of the RM160.00 that I lost.
I expect to hear from you.
Sincerely,
Javalier
I came across your advertisement on tv as well as the newspapers, where you are advertising about your superbly fast petrol kiosk fuel-up service, especially with the usage of credit cards. It showed that the parking attendant was just about to wash the windscreen when the car sped off. I was so elated that I drove to one of your kiosk to fuel up. Since I don't really need to fuel up, I put in just RM10 worth. Here's what I did.
I stopped my car. Pulled out my wallet. Called the attendant to wash my windscreen. Took out my card and slot in the card reader. Authorised and then I fueled up. To my utter amazement, he finished washing my windscreen even before I pressed on the pump!! I got a little disappointed, but then I thought, maybe your system was a little slow today.
The next day I went back to the same petrol kiosk, and again I did the same as the above. Same result! This time I was only a little bit faster, that I was at RM2.00++ when he finished washing my windows. What gives?! I was getting angry, but I cooled down. Okay, maybe this kiosk is not as efficient as the others.
A week later, I went to another kiosk. Same story. Again I went to another kiosk, same story also. Altogether I went to 8 different kiosks and I have failed on all occasions to drive off before the attendant manage to place the 'washing rod' on my windscreen! I've even tried changing my method, by asking them to wash only after I've placed the pump into the car. But no,... before I could place the pump back, they're done washing.
Then it dawned on me that the only logical explanation is that your company have deliberately lied to its customers, and on national tv and newspaper!! What a shame on you, She*l!! A totally misleading advertisement!
I hereby demand my money back for a total of RM160.00 which I must receive within two weeks time. Failure to do so will cause me to write a letter to the Ministry of Consumer Affairs, and take you to court for damages multiple times of the RM160.00 that I lost.
I expect to hear from you.
Sincerely,
Javalier
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Sorry Readers
Dear readers,
I'm sorry to inform you that currently I'm still working on a 3-day week in my company, while the other two days are used for personal and company-registering/planning time which gives me hardly any time for leisure on the net for blog updating.
Should be back blogging by October's end. For now, there will only be entries that come very sparsely.
I'm sorry to inform you that currently I'm still working on a 3-day week in my company, while the other two days are used for personal and company-registering/planning time which gives me hardly any time for leisure on the net for blog updating.
Should be back blogging by October's end. For now, there will only be entries that come very sparsely.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Haunted Painting
If you had been a constant Ebay lurker back in the 2001-2002 time, you would have came across a "Haunted Paiting" being sold on Ebay. I have always been mesmerised by this painting due to its hollow and eerie nature, as if the picture shows the essence of life being cast away. Anyway, I thought I'd share this picture with you since I have always been taking a look-see at it again nearly once every three months. The owner of Ebay halted the auction as there was a huge public outcry that 'evil' is being sold.
When we received this painting, we thought it was really good art. A "picker" had found it abandoned behind an old brewery. At the time we wondered a little why a seemingly perfectly fine painting would be discarded like that. (Today we don't!!!) One morning our 4 and 1/2 years old daughter claimed that the children in the picture were fighting, and coming into her room during the night. Now, I don't believe in UFOS or Elvis being alive, but my husband was alarmed. To my amusement he set up a motion triggered camera for the nights. After three nights there were pictures. After seeing the boy seemingly exiting the painting, we decided, the painting has to go. Please judge for yourself. --- Warning: Do not bid on this painting if you are susceptible to stress related disease, faint of heart or are unfamiliar with supernatural events.
In Ebay, the picture is described as follows: -
When we received this painting, we thought it was really good art. A "picker" had found it abandoned behind an old brewery. At the time we wondered a little why a seemingly perfectly fine painting would be discarded like that. (Today we don't!!!) One morning our 4 and 1/2 years old daughter claimed that the children in the picture were fighting, and coming into her room during the night. Now, I don't believe in UFOS or Elvis being alive, but my husband was alarmed. To my amusement he set up a motion triggered camera for the nights. After three nights there were pictures. After seeing the boy seemingly exiting the painting, we decided, the painting has to go. Please judge for yourself. --- Warning: Do not bid on this painting if you are susceptible to stress related disease, faint of heart or are unfamiliar with supernatural events.
The post includes several other things such as questions on how to bless the house once the painting is gone. There are also several warnings that says "Don't put the painting as your desktop wallpaper" and several other comments that claimed "Don't look too intensely into the painting because once the girl turns her face towards you, death will come to you." Well, yeah, it does sound scary because the girl does not have an eye in the eye sockets.
Now, from my own appreciativeness of the art of the painting. It shows a boy, real human boy, with a girl who has a sad face, and missing eyes from the eye socket, and there are hands behind the glass frame behind the boy trying to reach out. On one hand, it looks as if the boy is 'hypnotised' in a city of ghosts, on the other, it's like a human life that exist amongst undeads. But in all honesty, I cannot 'feel' any message that the painter tries to potray, but it is really a good imagination of the artist to produce such an artwork. Just appreciate the beauty of it, but turn your face away once the girl starts turning her face towards you. :P
The real story is this: The painting was painted by William Stoneham in 1972. According to him, "When I painted the Hands Resist Him in 1972, I used an old photo of myself at age five in a Chicago apartment. The hands are the 'other lives.' The glass door, that thin veil between waking and dreaming. The girl/doll is the imagined companion, or guide through this realm."
However, in Stoneham's own words, there were 'cases' related to his painting that happened, such as the owner of the gallery where this photo is shown and art critic who reviewed the show were dead within a year. He says it's just a coincidence. Anyway, the original painting has been sold during the show, and he has no idea where the painting is now.
There,... just to share a piece of artwork that caught my attention since 4 years back.
p/s: Did the word "hantu" come from the word "haunt"?
The real story is this: The painting was painted by William Stoneham in 1972. According to him, "When I painted the Hands Resist Him in 1972, I used an old photo of myself at age five in a Chicago apartment. The hands are the 'other lives.' The glass door, that thin veil between waking and dreaming. The girl/doll is the imagined companion, or guide through this realm."
However, in Stoneham's own words, there were 'cases' related to his painting that happened, such as the owner of the gallery where this photo is shown and art critic who reviewed the show were dead within a year. He says it's just a coincidence. Anyway, the original painting has been sold during the show, and he has no idea where the painting is now.
There,... just to share a piece of artwork that caught my attention since 4 years back.
p/s: Did the word "hantu" come from the word "haunt"?
Friday, August 25, 2006
Food Review: KFC New Variety Bucket
Verdict: Not Worth It At All. Don't Try It.
What you get: -
Photo 'borrowed' from www.99.com/mysweetsurrender
What you get: -
1) 3 pieces OR chicken
2) 3 pieces Hot & Spicy chicken
3) 2 Regular Whipped Potato
4) 8 Chicken Fingers
5) 1 Large Potato Wedges
Price: RM27.50
How much does it cost ala carte?
3 pieces OR chicken - RM7.90
3 pieces H&S chicken - RM7.90
2 regular whipped potato - RM3.00
8 chicken fingers - RM7.60
1 Large Potato Wedges - RM2.80
Total Price: RM29.20
That's a total of only RM1.70 difference. Not worth being called a package deal. Totally unlike (real example here) Dominos Pizza whereby if you order a large pizza only, you get a regular free... and a regular costs more than RM10 for sure.
What's bad? ONE: The chicken fingers are totally below par. You can get a better and cheaper chicken fingers by buying frozen ones from hypermarkets and fry them yourself at less than half the price and better the taste. There's totally NO chicken filamen/strips in the fingers. Too much starch. TWO: We all know that potato wedges is useless without the cheesy stuff. It's like eating satay without the peanut sauce, or eating roti canai without the curry/dhal, or eating cornflakes without the milk, or drinking teh 'o' ais without the straw.
Again, in short, not worth due to the two reasons above.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
ONE
When you first arrived, you were so fragile. I had to take notice of the yellow spots on your nose when I couldn't find any other marks on you when I spun you around, looking all about your tiny body, so that there's no mistaking that you're the one we bring home. After the prayers into your ears, and have you sent to the nursery for your first therapy, the photo-therapy, I prayed with tears thanking God for giving you to us.
First Clothing We Bought Before You Were Born
You had your Cukur Jambul in Terengganu during Hari Raya Haji. There goes your birth hair which was already thinning, and from bald, now you have rather long hair that covers your ear but mommy don't want your hair cut. We still keep your birth hair, and you can ask mommy or me to see it. We are also keeping your tali pusat.
My wish for you is to grow up at your own pace, for which I'm sure is mommy's wish as well. Mommy and I will support you in what you want in life. Remind us not to force you to do things against your will, but we will drive you to be a good person.
p/s: Posted One Day Earlier But Date Is Correct, Coz On Real Day Will Not Be Coming To Office. Out To Celebrate With Loved Ones.
First Day Home
The first few weeks were very tiring but funny. Many times mommy and I fell asleep feeding you at your three-hour interval meals. You really changed our lives, having someone to go home to, and really changed our sleeping times too! Hehe.... and you will not remember this, but your first few weeks you were taken care by Atuk and Nenek as well as your Opah, and your first 5 months of your life, you were taken care by your Pak Long and Mak Long. Next time you can go back and thank your Mak Long for taking care of changing your diapers, and having Mak Long's kids doting on you a lot.
From your fifth month, you started to go over to Opah's house and some times Atuk and Nenek drops by in KL to take care of you. Your Opah had a funny 'ritual' of making sure you're colic-free by saying "kepala - buntut, kepala - buntut" while making her hands move from your face to your behind, in hoping the air will come out as soon as possible. We think it's the super-heaty milk powder S26 that kept your colic away, but you sweat profusely with that milk powder. Now that you're on another milk powder, you're ok... and currently we're only facing with the problem of you 'releasing' yourself, need more fiber in your diet.
You can sit well on Atuk's lap, just looking at cars go by at the parking lot of our place. You are afraid of Grand-dad (we'll see what we can make you call him later ok?) because of the way he likes to tickle you, but when he's not doing that to you, you really make an effort to chit chat with him.
With you mommy, you like to bite and lick her nose, her knee, her cheek, and that really makes mommy ticklish and you just laugh whenever she tries to avoid you. With me, you like having yourself lift up high a dozen times and having to hold my hands while you train to walk. Your favourite song with mommy is mommy's own composition, while with me it's "Polly Put The Kettle On"... and with your Pak Cu it's "Row Row Row Your Boat" since it's the only song your Pak Cu knows how to sing, hehe. Of course you like to listen to other children songs especially in the car. One thing you might not remember, is that you sleep nearly everynight with suara orang mengaji in the background.
Your physical advancement went very well. You were flipping over by the time you were 3 months old, holding your heads up by your 5th month, crawling by your 7th month and pulling up to a standing position by your 9th month. It seems you like odd-numbered months of your life for your milestones. Just three weeks ago today you started to walk, and now, you can already fast walk and even pick yourself up to walking position. You babble a lot in the car when I send you to Opah's house, were you singing to the children song?
Among your habits is putting your fingers or hands in every item that has hole, from containers, to glasses, to even mommy and my ears! You like to pick up items from containers and fling it behind you. You also started to like moving to music, especially from Dora the Explorer's Musical Episode that we switch on for you nearly everyday for the past three weeks. You like to move your tongue a lot while making the sound "la-la-la-la-la". You also like to open your mouth making sure there's bubble created there. You seem to have stopped "blessing" things and people by blowing your saliva out. You like remote controls, and what we cannot catch on video is your tendency to switch the channel from mommy's favourite CSI show to that of Forum Perdana or an arabic channel. You like mommy's phone a lot. You seem to have stopped making everything a car, pushing and dragging things like cds, containers, books around the floor. You like to listen to your own echo by making a lot of noise in lift lobbies and car parks. One thing that stands out, you stopped using the pacifier when you were four months old.
Your first shopping complex I cannot write here as it indicates where we live. I will only list a few firsts you have and others will be shown in our own memory-book okay? Your first big-family holiday was to Port Dickson. Your first holiday with us was to
First Clothing We Bought Before You Were BornYou had your Cukur Jambul in Terengganu during Hari Raya Haji. There goes your birth hair which was already thinning, and from bald, now you have rather long hair that covers your ear but mommy don't want your hair cut. We still keep your birth hair, and you can ask mommy or me to see it. We are also keeping your tali pusat.
My wish for you is to grow up at your own pace, for which I'm sure is mommy's wish as well. Mommy and I will support you in what you want in life. Remind us not to force you to do things against your will, but we will drive you to be a good person.
p/s: Posted One Day Earlier But Date Is Correct, Coz On Real Day Will Not Be Coming To Office. Out To Celebrate With Loved Ones.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
A Special Place In Time
I'm not sure about many of you, but I find that there is always a special place in time where we can retreat to, just to be away from current situations. Somewhat like taking a holiday, if you will, but instead of going on a real holiday, you retreat to a favourite moment in time. I'm sorry to say that I don't retreat to my marriage day much, though that should be the most favourite moment in time, I guess it's because it's still current, still new, still ongoing.... maybe when my kids are in college, then marriage will be a moment in time to retreat to.
My special retreat is back in 1989 - 1991 times, from the time I was in Std 5 to Form 1. Those years are the best place to retreat as a kid, though I received some sort of recognition in 1993 - 1994 in school, that's still not the best. 1989... that was the time of utter bliss. Enjoyment to the max, also the time when I started taking English language seriously and then able to enjoy and understand all the english story books, heavily english-texted computer games, etc.
The retreat is simple. Songs and music. Come to think of it, I think in terms of music choice, my wife still wonders why I sometimes retreat to songs of She Drives Me Crazy (Fine Young Cannibals), When I See You Smile (Bad English), Another Day In Paradise (Phil Collins), Winds of Change (Scorpions), and others. I won't name those romantic ones coz' they don't really make me retreat such as The First Time (Surface). That one is just a feeling of "Hey, nice to hear that song again." Anyway, while songs make me relive the past for a moment, nothing is better than having to listen to music during the best times of the memory.
For me, sadly and pitifully (some people will say), are music from games. No lyrics, just the music. Two musical pieces (I wouldn't call it pieces, since it's not composed by a known composer, but well, no other words for it) are Stones from the Ultima series and Monkey Island theme song. These are the kind of music that can just release me from current situation, ie the office, and release all tension and be a kid with no responsibilities again. To just enjoy the moment in time. To just lean back and listen to that music,... aih... dunno if you all know how that feels like.
Anyone care to share their special place in time, and how they go about reaching back that place?
My special retreat is back in 1989 - 1991 times, from the time I was in Std 5 to Form 1. Those years are the best place to retreat as a kid, though I received some sort of recognition in 1993 - 1994 in school, that's still not the best. 1989... that was the time of utter bliss. Enjoyment to the max, also the time when I started taking English language seriously and then able to enjoy and understand all the english story books, heavily english-texted computer games, etc.
The retreat is simple. Songs and music. Come to think of it, I think in terms of music choice, my wife still wonders why I sometimes retreat to songs of She Drives Me Crazy (Fine Young Cannibals), When I See You Smile (Bad English), Another Day In Paradise (Phil Collins), Winds of Change (Scorpions), and others. I won't name those romantic ones coz' they don't really make me retreat such as The First Time (Surface). That one is just a feeling of "Hey, nice to hear that song again." Anyway, while songs make me relive the past for a moment, nothing is better than having to listen to music during the best times of the memory.
For me, sadly and pitifully (some people will say), are music from games. No lyrics, just the music. Two musical pieces (I wouldn't call it pieces, since it's not composed by a known composer, but well, no other words for it) are Stones from the Ultima series and Monkey Island theme song. These are the kind of music that can just release me from current situation, ie the office, and release all tension and be a kid with no responsibilities again. To just enjoy the moment in time. To just lean back and listen to that music,... aih... dunno if you all know how that feels like.
Anyone care to share their special place in time, and how they go about reaching back that place?
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
On Borrowed Time
Some people believe that life itself is a borrowed time, that we actually borrowed the time from God before God takes it back. I don't look at it that way. I believe that God gave us LIFE with an expiry date. Borrowed time is the time given after that expiry date. Some borrowed time is given to rectify their lifestyle, such as, a second chance in life, or some borrowed time is just for a very short duration, to meet loved one for one last time. The latter is what I will write about today.
Most death that happens after an admission to hospital or within the hospital itself usually had a borrowed time. There are just too many instances that when a person is dying, he/she suddenly makes a remarkable recovery for about a few hours, just to suddenly pass away the next hour, or the next day. There are also instances whereby a person in a coma wakes up, but too weak to do anything else but to just stare at you and then tears start flowing out of the eye. This experience I have had, to see someone who refuses to close her eyes and let out her tears flow out. I never knew that it means "It's time", and within a few hours later, she died alone on the hospital bed. Not a relative, just an experienced I have had.
The problem is, we will never know who is on borrowed time, and who's on the journey to recovery. I think the safest and correct perception is to view EVERYDAY of a person's life who had just recovered from a serious and critical condition. At least if it is borrowed time, you get to spend one last memory with him/her before they go 'home'. If it is not, then it IS your realisation to really cherish the person whose time is not expired yet. What's worse is those who don't have a borrowed time at all and just pass away at the most unexpected moments, just as what we've been reading in the papers nowdays. A normal day passes by just to know someone close to you have gone 'home'. That's something I don't want to have it happen to anyone at all.
Nothing much to say, just suddenly thought of it.
Most death that happens after an admission to hospital or within the hospital itself usually had a borrowed time. There are just too many instances that when a person is dying, he/she suddenly makes a remarkable recovery for about a few hours, just to suddenly pass away the next hour, or the next day. There are also instances whereby a person in a coma wakes up, but too weak to do anything else but to just stare at you and then tears start flowing out of the eye. This experience I have had, to see someone who refuses to close her eyes and let out her tears flow out. I never knew that it means "It's time", and within a few hours later, she died alone on the hospital bed. Not a relative, just an experienced I have had.
The problem is, we will never know who is on borrowed time, and who's on the journey to recovery. I think the safest and correct perception is to view EVERYDAY of a person's life who had just recovered from a serious and critical condition. At least if it is borrowed time, you get to spend one last memory with him/her before they go 'home'. If it is not, then it IS your realisation to really cherish the person whose time is not expired yet. What's worse is those who don't have a borrowed time at all and just pass away at the most unexpected moments, just as what we've been reading in the papers nowdays. A normal day passes by just to know someone close to you have gone 'home'. That's something I don't want to have it happen to anyone at all.
Nothing much to say, just suddenly thought of it.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Item of Value
As I've tendered my resignation, there have been a lot of things to do especially keeping all the reports in order and training new staff to take care of the works I've done and how to proceed after I'm gone. Anyway, that is not an excuse.
One simple question: If your house is on fire, and you have time to only take out THREE items from the house that's carryable by one hand (per item), what would they be? Also, if you want to take out any additional item at 10% risk (for every item) that you won't get out alive, are there more items to take out against that risk?
I'm asking this question specifically to understand the value we place on our possessions. Some men have it in this priority.... 1) Car 2) Wife 3) Children 4) Playstation 2 etc... while others may have 1) New sports rim 2) Laptop 3) Children 4) Mousepad .... 23) Wife... etc.
Being a married man, I guess the three items I will definitely save will be our passports (I consider this ONE item since they're placed together), my wallet and a file of documents (containing important documents) and get the hell outta there. If my son is in the house, my son alone will be it.... forget the passports and wallet, dowan to risk him getting burned. Seriously, I have absolutely no other items I consider of importance that I would risk even a little burn on my body for. I believe, with God's will, my mind, body and ability/skills are enough to get me through the entire event and rebuild what it lost.
Okay, let's forget that question. Now for another. Let's say your house is robbed, and the robber being so kind says "I will take EVERYTHING from your house, but will leave behind 3 items. What will they be?" Now it's a different story huh? You can remake your passport, can remake your IC in the wallet, bank books, etc. What will that 3 items be that you won't let the robber take away? Momentos from your past?
For me.... 1) My external HDD (this is where the backups of all family movies, pictures, archives of work, stories, etc is kept). 2) Wedding rings (this is a momento that I wish not to part with) 3) File of documents (in this file also exist momentos and receipts of my family).
If I were to be asked this question when I was single, it'll be 1) My external HDD 2) Most expensive item in the house 3) Second most expensive item in the house. :P
What would your choices be?
One simple question: If your house is on fire, and you have time to only take out THREE items from the house that's carryable by one hand (per item), what would they be? Also, if you want to take out any additional item at 10% risk (for every item) that you won't get out alive, are there more items to take out against that risk?
I'm asking this question specifically to understand the value we place on our possessions. Some men have it in this priority.... 1) Car 2) Wife 3) Children 4) Playstation 2 etc... while others may have 1) New sports rim 2) Laptop 3) Children 4) Mousepad .... 23) Wife... etc.
Being a married man, I guess the three items I will definitely save will be our passports (I consider this ONE item since they're placed together), my wallet and a file of documents (containing important documents) and get the hell outta there. If my son is in the house, my son alone will be it.... forget the passports and wallet, dowan to risk him getting burned. Seriously, I have absolutely no other items I consider of importance that I would risk even a little burn on my body for. I believe, with God's will, my mind, body and ability/skills are enough to get me through the entire event and rebuild what it lost.
Okay, let's forget that question. Now for another. Let's say your house is robbed, and the robber being so kind says "I will take EVERYTHING from your house, but will leave behind 3 items. What will they be?" Now it's a different story huh? You can remake your passport, can remake your IC in the wallet, bank books, etc. What will that 3 items be that you won't let the robber take away? Momentos from your past?
For me.... 1) My external HDD (this is where the backups of all family movies, pictures, archives of work, stories, etc is kept). 2) Wedding rings (this is a momento that I wish not to part with) 3) File of documents (in this file also exist momentos and receipts of my family).
If I were to be asked this question when I was single, it'll be 1) My external HDD 2) Most expensive item in the house 3) Second most expensive item in the house. :P
What would your choices be?
Monday, July 17, 2006
Journey Home
One of our family car was sent for repair for two weeks, therefore either I send my wife to her workplace and drive to work myself or vice versa. Most of the time, it's the former. On Friday last, my wife sent me to work and since morning I was thinking it'll be a wonderful time to try walking home, which I did.
It's not too far at all actually. When I drive it takes 15 minutes because I calculate from time of exit from my apartment, and the time I clock in. This includes going down lift, start up car, wait for engine to warm up, driving out, show fists to incorrigible drivers, tag card at parking entrance, say "Morning boss" to car park operator, etc...
Anyhow, I left the building at 5:30pm. The following photo is the ONLY photo I can show you though I've taken a lot of photos along the way. This photo is taken by the new state-of-the-art, highest selling and superbly designed SE P900. :P
It's not too far at all actually. When I drive it takes 15 minutes because I calculate from time of exit from my apartment, and the time I clock in. This includes going down lift, start up car, wait for engine to warm up, driving out, show fists to incorrigible drivers, tag card at parking entrance, say "Morning boss" to car park operator, etc...
Anyhow, I left the building at 5:30pm. The following photo is the ONLY photo I can show you though I've taken a lot of photos along the way. This photo is taken by the new state-of-the-art, highest selling and superbly designed SE P900. :P
Walking gives you a time to reflect on lots of things, which I didn't really do since for now there's nothing to reflect upon. Quite happy with life. So I took the opportunity to take photos of buildings I walk past, and any other interesting things to snap. No chun girls though. :(
At one area, it started drizzling!! Crap I thought. Luckily it stopped, but by the time I reached home, the drizzle became light rain which was ok. So, time home was 5:58pm. Just 23 minutes of walking, quite short when you compare to driving a car. The only reason why the car cannot be a lot quicker is due to one way roads in KL which cannot be accessed using the road I took.
Overall it was a nice walk. Quite worried someone would snatch my laptop bag, but I consciously held on to it pretty tightly and notice motorists or people walking past. Sweated a bit, so that's my exercise for the day,.. er.. week, err... month! One thing I was superbly proud of, haha... okay, not proud, but quite amazed was that I was 'singing' (I can't sing well at all) a song, repeated over and over until I reached home. Being an english-song-listening-dude, I have no idea why I sang the song "Liga liga Malaysia..... (own created lyrics)... masuk, jangan tak masuk, masuk, (own created lyrics) kami juara", a Malaysian League advert sang by Spider. :D
Thursday, July 13, 2006
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