I have absolutely no excuse why I didn't update my blog timely... but if I DO HAVE, it'll be the lack of leisure time since working part-time equals working full time (placing all schedules on the days I do work) and the other non-working day was on processing my business.
It is Saturday morning now, and I feel better. The memory of yesterday is still here, but not the affect of having such a memory. What I felt yesterday afternoon was totally different.
We humans have this ability of creating reality out of what we perceive from our experiences, our understanding of the way things work and from what we gather through our senses. Without writing it bluntly, here's how a part of my reality crumbled.
I have a friend, a mother of two, to which I've known for nearly two years. We communicate quite frequently, well, yeah of course, since we're also colleagues. Colleagues usually cannot be friends, but those that do are very few. For me, I only have two colleagues I consider a friend. Now, having a friend, we conjure a reality on that person, based on our interactions with that person and whatever else we assume them to be.
Well, that reality crumbled. A totally bizzare act that she did totally caught me off my toes. It affected the other friend as well, but the other friend faced it more like a shock. For me, it totally wiped out 'respect' and affected me in a way that I totally lost the appetite for lunch, and the memory of it haunt me right into last night.
Jealousy?? No, if you're thinking I'm jealous, change your assumption. The knowledge of her act and the confirmation of it made me turn around, look around, wondering what other realities that I conjured that may be false. What other reality that is going to crumble as well. Making a quick check that my stronger convictions of my conjured reality are still intact and solid.
To describe how the reality crumbled, I have to give examples. It's like a parent who has a grown-up child giving monthly finance from his/her job in another state, and everyone commended that he/she's a very discipline and kind child. Reality conjured by the parent is that of a responsible and hard-working child, and when reality crumbled, the child is actually good yes, but the monies are collected from doing vice.
If you watch the show Prison Break, it's like the wife thinking that her husband is still not back from war, when he's actually in prison. It's like how some parents perceive the 'good' in their maid from what they see physically, but the maid turns out to be a demon.
Take care of the reality you conjured...