Thursday, December 08, 2005

Lembaga Kemajuan Ikan Malaysia

With totally no disrespect to the government, and to the individual, I write the following parody.

I was heading to lunch at my old office today when I saw a sign saying "Seminar oleh Lembaga Kemajuan Ikan Malaysia". My first thought was, "man... there's just so many departments in the government that I dunno who do what?! Literally translating the sign, it will say "Seminar by Malaysian Fish Development's Shadow". Kidding, it's Fisheries Development Authority of Malaysia.

Then I wondered, is there also a "Prawn Development Authority, Squid Development Authority, Worm Development Authority, Frog Development Authority, and what have you's." Not planning to visit any website on the department, I assume the following.

Our vision is to be the best in fish development in the world.

To enhance the growth of fishes in the Malaysian industry, as well as the development of the fish's skill.

Wawasan 2020 Objectives
1. We plan to research on growth serum for our fishes, so that they will grow at least ten times from 1995. Mid-way 2005 report shows tremendous progress in our research, findings and experimentation.

Exhibit A: Our fishes in 1995

In 1995, our ocean condition was so bad with all the oil leaks on the Straits of Malacca that our fishes could only grow to the size of a 1 cent coin.

Exhibit B: Our Fishes In 2005

Due to our extension research in growth hormones, we are proud to report that our fishes has grown to the size as shown in the picture. Please bear in mind, this is not the limit to the growth. It will only get bigger.

2. We also plan to reseach on skills to integrate with the fishes. Our skills development team was was divided into five groups; Language Team, Music Team, Aviation Team, Diplomacy Team and Taste Team. In 2005 now, we cannot yet disclose our success in the teams other than the aviation team.

Exhibit C: Flying Fish in 1995

We have always wondered why God created flying fishes. We pitied looking at them flying out of the water only to fall back in. It seems that there are bigger plan for these fishes, with the intervention of humans into their development. Thus the Aviation Skill Development Team was created.

Exhibit D: Flying Fish in 2005

In our attempt to make these fishes feel useful to community, we have researched and taught them aviation skills to propel humanity to greater heights. By Wawasan 2020, we expect the newly acquired Airbus by airlines corporations all over the world will be obselete with our new Flying Fish Airlines. No fear of crashes into the sea as the airline is also sea friendly.

To properly educate and create awareness to the public on our activities, we have decided to follow the marketing strategy of most major companies by hiring an ambassador. In 2003, we approached Situ Nurhaliza and Amberry Chia. Situ was too expensive for the government to afford and too busy, and Amberry Chia does not like to eat fish. Other candidates just would not do.

We have decided to create our own ambassador. From our research on the growth serum and the combination with cloning technology as well as transformation technology, we have created the perfect Ambassador, Fish Leong, grown directly at our Kuala Pilah research site! We hope we made the right choice.

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