Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I am a psychopath

One of the most famous 'baton-passing' theme is the "I am" theme, which practically requires the blogger to write a series of "I am...." to somesort of a confession to anyone in praticular. Most will start an "I am" from young until their current age, in which they will confess things they do to their parents, bla bla bla. Some examples I've seen are like: -

I am the girl who locked you in the toilet in Std 4.

I am the man who left you for another woman.

.... and some craps like that. I will not write anything like that about myself, but it brings to a very interesting idea. Since tomorrow is the first day of fasting month, I will now release all the demons of insanity and morbid-ity(?!) from my mind, muahahaaha..... I banish you from my mind for a few months! Oh yeah, selamat berpuasa to all.

Beware: The following confessions are very graphical in nature and very grotesque. Those under 18 please seek your guardian's or watson's advice. Please seriously obey this advice for your own good.

For friends who know me personally, who knows the cheerful and friendly personality that I have,.... well, I have absolutely no idea how you will take the following conjurations of my mind. Just be thankful its not real. :P

I am the brother who bit off your hamster's head after watching 'V', laughing and running off to the mirror to see blood oozing out from my mouth and the hamster's head still throbbing on my tongue. I am the brother who then spat the head at you and used the hamster's body as a paintbrush to paint a beautiful red dress on your art block. I am the brother who sat on your head, and made you lick that wet 'paint', and said "Yummy, it's delicious".

I am the child who found it humourous stepping on young yellow chicks, to hear the sweet sound of crunching bones, giggling out loud as I chase more of them around. I am the child who picked up each and every crushed chick and poured their blood on unhatched eggs in the coop. I am the child who also poured leftover chicks' blood into chilli sauces' bottles at home. I am the child who gladly poured the chilli sauce for grandma and grandpa eating their chicken.

I am the son who smashed your car windows with a tennis racket. I am the son who placed broken pieces of glass in your shoes and loafers and smiled with glee at you jumping in pain and falling over the fence and broke your arm. I am the son who, while you were in the hospital, played campfire with all the papers I found in your briefcase. I am the son who was so happy when you got fired and stayed home with us for a few months. I am the son who slashed your tyres when you got a new job. I am the son who got to know a good friend of yours, a magician who can make people disappear.

I am the teenager who spat and blew my nose in your burger bun when you complained that the burger is not warm enough. I am the teenager who added my pee to your soda when you asked for a refill. I am the teenager who, with my friends, pushed, kicked, slammed and robbed you off your wallet and car after your dinner. I am the teenager who left you with a small token of gratitude by leaving a kitchen knife sticking out your thigh. I am the teenager who after that vanished like ninjas, being trained well by the magician.

I am the young man who tried to steal the exam papers for my finals, but was caught by you. I am the young man who sneaked into your office after the finals and burned all the answer sheets. I am the young man who dumped eight dead dogs into your yard for revenge. I am the young man who was not satisfied and proceeded to hit your ailing parents during their morning walk. I am the young man who drove over them again and again until I could not see anymore through my tears of laughter.

I am the man who applied for a job at your company but was given a low pay. I am the man who sent your clients to those who are worthy. I am the man who sold your contacts and information to earn what I am suppose to get, you worthless piece of rubbish! I am the man who paid girls to give you a call to your home to your wife. I am the man who got you tied up with a girl who eventually dumped you after your divorce. I am the man who ruined your marriage, just as you deserved. I am the man who made sure you don't remarry when I had my friends castrate you while you were so drunk, trying to escape anguish and depression . I am the man who mailed your your dried up testicles, pierced with rusted screws. I am the man who will never be humiliated by you ever again.

I am the boyfriend whom you decided to cheat on, just two months into the relationship. I am the boyfriend who made your lover disappear. I am the boyfriend who fed you soup, with the meat and personal parts of your lover. I am the boyfriend who convinced your parents that you had a sudden urge to go overseas looking for a job. I am the boyfriend who instead kept you locked in my home, to do to you as I wish. I am the boyfriend who kept my promise that I will not rape you in captive, or have anyone do that to you, but I never said I will not mutilate you. I am the boyfriend who carved your cheeks so that your teeth shows without opening your mouth. I am the boyfriend who bought a drum, but no drum sticks, and guess where I got those drum sticks from, you armless hag! I am the boyfriend who ensured your symmetry by also removing your legs, leaving you looking like a thin turtle. I am the boyfriend who got tired of you, who brought you to a lake in town, and watching in awe at how you try to swim with just limbs to your elbow and knees, until you sank and never come up for air again. I am the boyfriend, who celebrate your watery grave by scattering the bones of your lover, after my friends and I dined deliciously on his entire tasty meat.

I am the convict who tried to bit your nose off, how dare you try to cuff me! I am the convict who sang the national anthem in court when asked for my plea. I am the convict who struggled and manage to sink my knee deep into the stomache of that woman, and why was she wearing that maternity dress for?! I am the convict who laughed and laughed in captive until I am declared an insane and do not belong in prison. I am the convict who managed to fool all of you into thinking that I'm insane when I'm totally sane, with only lust for the dark. I am the convict whose destiny was set, to live in utter fascination with vices, sins and evil.

I am a psychopath, without empathy or remorse in what I do.


Trisya Midori said...

so sick!!!! yuck!!!!

Lisa said...

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! i couldnt stop laughing even though it was definitely gross! that IS sick!

kasih suci said...

heheeh i like this entry so much..are u a writer or something..