Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Who Is Shanna Hiel?

This post is in the category of diary, as it is a personal experience I had.

One of many overdue post I have yet to write is about my experience in the hospital during my wife's delivery which takes about 4 days and 3 nights. What I experienced I would consider it a "memory dream", that is, every night I will dream of other people's memories. These dreams are very not related to me, therefore I am seeing things through the eyes of others. Without fail, at least three memory dreams I had per night for two nights there.

Yesterday's dream however, is a mixture of fantasy and reality. The dream seems so real because it includes everyone in my current life, from my wife to my baby, to my mother and one of my siblings. Maybe the dream happened due to our (my wife's and I) anticipation of Flight Plan, but then again, I do not think about it at all. Nevertheless, this post will just account the details of the dream.

My wife and I are actually married in 1998. Go figure. I was just 19 then. Current time is now, 2005. We actually had a daughter who was taken from us, maybe when she was a baby or toddler, who knows. At this current time, we have already accepted the lost of our daughter. Here's where 'fantasy' comes in.

We are staying in a house. Funnily, we have never been able to open one single room in the house, which is actually the common toilet of the second floor. We can never remember when it was opened last. We are also very friendly with our neighbours. I think we have about three or four neighbours who are very close to us, and comes in and out of our house as if they're part of the family, and we do the same to their house. One neighbour was a huge man. I never liked him. He is the one I suspected who took our daughter.

This 2nd floor common toilet have been tried to be opened before, so that we can change the door since we can't find the key, but nothing can break the door. Even a hammer or axe have been tried but it cant dent the door in any way. The only way I guess, is to find the key for it, and the key looks like those steering wheel / computer lock kinda key.

It just happened that one day the huge neighbour passed away. Before he died, he asked me "You still think that I took your daughter?!". That got me remembering that we once had a daughter. And from my thinking, if he is currently having our daughter, it will be a matter of time before she will be out of drink or food if he has her locked up somewhere. So began a frantic search in his house for some kinda key.

One the fourth day of his death, I got frustrated that I broke planks by planks of his personal cupboard, and I did find a key attached by glue to the bottom of the cupboard. Rushed back to my house with the key and tried it on the toilet door. As you would also expect, the key worked. Found our daughter turned face down in the bathtub filled with water up to about 5 inches.

I carried her out while shouting "ambulance" many times. This part was so real. Neighbours and their children came out and the ambulance did come. I remembered holding her in while towel, and she has just stopped shivering but still unconscious. Then the dream jumped forward to when she's back home. While looking at her playing on her own, I asked my wife "How old is she now?" and my wife said "Born in 1998, what do you think?" and I mentioned "We married in 1998, means she's born in 1999 isn't it?".

Her name, as my wife and I recall is Shanna Hiel. I totally cannot describe her face, but to describe her in a way that I can, she has straight long hair right below the shoulders. Rather thin as how a 6 years old can be. Already potty trained as she did tell us how she learned it. Rather talkative and can speak in both english and malay. Seems to not hold a grudge on the huge neighbour as she thought he was her very protective father. She did show a swollen right jaw where he hit her. She was treated well, fed well, except that she's locked up to hide from us.

For me, I actually wished the neighbour was still alive so that I can kill(?!?) him. She readily accept us as her parents once more and said that she was too young to even remember. Yeah, and us being parents have somewhat already let her go from memory?!? She was given a tour of our baby's crib and toys. She particularly liked the musical twirling toy that sits on top of the crib. She enjoys playing with her younger brother.

I woke up this morning, seeing my baby sleeping next to me. It was surreal. I'm back in this time, but the dream was so vivid as it includes everyone else close to me instead of strangers. So, who is this Shanna Hiel really?! And why to such a detail on dreams? Most people forgets their dream the moment they wake up, or remember up to 30% of their dreams. I have had remembered dreams too, but never to such a detail. If you dream, there is no sound or voice, all sounds and voices comes telepathically (but in the dream you think you actually say or heard sounds lah). :P

Anyway, Shanna Hiel, whoever you are, hope you are happy with your family.

Update: My wife just asked me if I had a nightmare as I was crying in my sleep at about 6:00am plus. I guess that was the shouting for ambulance part (then again, people say full dreams happen in just 10-20 seconds) as I was most emotionally strickened then. Well, case will remain closed.


Anonymous said...

you were 19 when you got married?
susah nak jumpe lelaki yg kawin that early...(nowadays lah...)


Javalier said...

Haha... no lar. In my dream I was 19.

Trisya Midori said...

wat did u eat for dinner? sounds like a bad case of tuna fish sandwich with peanut butter and planta, and a cherry on top...

kb said...

Hmm.. you just got a baby and you're dreaming of life with another woman already? We'll whack your head!