Wednesday, August 16, 2006
A Special Place In Time
My special retreat is back in 1989 - 1991 times, from the time I was in Std 5 to Form 1. Those years are the best place to retreat as a kid, though I received some sort of recognition in 1993 - 1994 in school, that's still not the best. 1989... that was the time of utter bliss. Enjoyment to the max, also the time when I started taking English language seriously and then able to enjoy and understand all the english story books, heavily english-texted computer games, etc.
The retreat is simple. Songs and music. Come to think of it, I think in terms of music choice, my wife still wonders why I sometimes retreat to songs of She Drives Me Crazy (Fine Young Cannibals), When I See You Smile (Bad English), Another Day In Paradise (Phil Collins), Winds of Change (Scorpions), and others. I won't name those romantic ones coz' they don't really make me retreat such as The First Time (Surface). That one is just a feeling of "Hey, nice to hear that song again." Anyway, while songs make me relive the past for a moment, nothing is better than having to listen to music during the best times of the memory.
For me, sadly and pitifully (some people will say), are music from games. No lyrics, just the music. Two musical pieces (I wouldn't call it pieces, since it's not composed by a known composer, but well, no other words for it) are Stones from the Ultima series and Monkey Island theme song. These are the kind of music that can just release me from current situation, ie the office, and release all tension and be a kid with no responsibilities again. To just enjoy the moment in time. To just lean back and listen to that music,... aih... dunno if you all know how that feels like.
Anyone care to share their special place in time, and how they go about reaching back that place?
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
On Borrowed Time
Most death that happens after an admission to hospital or within the hospital itself usually had a borrowed time. There are just too many instances that when a person is dying, he/she suddenly makes a remarkable recovery for about a few hours, just to suddenly pass away the next hour, or the next day. There are also instances whereby a person in a coma wakes up, but too weak to do anything else but to just stare at you and then tears start flowing out of the eye. This experience I have had, to see someone who refuses to close her eyes and let out her tears flow out. I never knew that it means "It's time", and within a few hours later, she died alone on the hospital bed. Not a relative, just an experienced I have had.
The problem is, we will never know who is on borrowed time, and who's on the journey to recovery. I think the safest and correct perception is to view EVERYDAY of a person's life who had just recovered from a serious and critical condition. At least if it is borrowed time, you get to spend one last memory with him/her before they go 'home'. If it is not, then it IS your realisation to really cherish the person whose time is not expired yet. What's worse is those who don't have a borrowed time at all and just pass away at the most unexpected moments, just as what we've been reading in the papers nowdays. A normal day passes by just to know someone close to you have gone 'home'. That's something I don't want to have it happen to anyone at all.
Nothing much to say, just suddenly thought of it.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Item of Value
One simple question: If your house is on fire, and you have time to only take out THREE items from the house that's carryable by one hand (per item), what would they be? Also, if you want to take out any additional item at 10% risk (for every item) that you won't get out alive, are there more items to take out against that risk?
I'm asking this question specifically to understand the value we place on our possessions. Some men have it in this priority.... 1) Car 2) Wife 3) Children 4) Playstation 2 etc... while others may have 1) New sports rim 2) Laptop 3) Children 4) Mousepad .... 23) Wife... etc.
Being a married man, I guess the three items I will definitely save will be our passports (I consider this ONE item since they're placed together), my wallet and a file of documents (containing important documents) and get the hell outta there. If my son is in the house, my son alone will be it.... forget the passports and wallet, dowan to risk him getting burned. Seriously, I have absolutely no other items I consider of importance that I would risk even a little burn on my body for. I believe, with God's will, my mind, body and ability/skills are enough to get me through the entire event and rebuild what it lost.
Okay, let's forget that question. Now for another. Let's say your house is robbed, and the robber being so kind says "I will take EVERYTHING from your house, but will leave behind 3 items. What will they be?" Now it's a different story huh? You can remake your passport, can remake your IC in the wallet, bank books, etc. What will that 3 items be that you won't let the robber take away? Momentos from your past?
For me.... 1) My external HDD (this is where the backups of all family movies, pictures, archives of work, stories, etc is kept). 2) Wedding rings (this is a momento that I wish not to part with) 3) File of documents (in this file also exist momentos and receipts of my family).
If I were to be asked this question when I was single, it'll be 1) My external HDD 2) Most expensive item in the house 3) Second most expensive item in the house. :P
What would your choices be?
Monday, July 17, 2006
Journey Home
It's not too far at all actually. When I drive it takes 15 minutes because I calculate from time of exit from my apartment, and the time I clock in. This includes going down lift, start up car, wait for engine to warm up, driving out, show fists to incorrigible drivers, tag card at parking entrance, say "Morning boss" to car park operator, etc...
Anyhow, I left the building at 5:30pm. The following photo is the ONLY photo I can show you though I've taken a lot of photos along the way. This photo is taken by the new state-of-the-art, highest selling and superbly designed SE P900. :P
Walking gives you a time to reflect on lots of things, which I didn't really do since for now there's nothing to reflect upon. Quite happy with life. So I took the opportunity to take photos of buildings I walk past, and any other interesting things to snap. No chun girls though. :(
At one area, it started drizzling!! Crap I thought. Luckily it stopped, but by the time I reached home, the drizzle became light rain which was ok. So, time home was 5:58pm. Just 23 minutes of walking, quite short when you compare to driving a car. The only reason why the car cannot be a lot quicker is due to one way roads in KL which cannot be accessed using the road I took.
Overall it was a nice walk. Quite worried someone would snatch my laptop bag, but I consciously held on to it pretty tightly and notice motorists or people walking past. Sweated a bit, so that's my exercise for the day,.. er.. week, err... month! One thing I was superbly proud of, haha... okay, not proud, but quite amazed was that I was 'singing' (I can't sing well at all) a song, repeated over and over until I reached home. Being an english-song-listening-dude, I have no idea why I sang the song "Liga liga Malaysia..... (own created lyrics)... masuk, jangan tak masuk, masuk, (own created lyrics) kami juara", a Malaysian League advert sang by Spider. :D
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Monday, June 26, 2006
Pwoer Of The Hmaun Mnid!
I wnot be tlaknig aubot the fcat the hmaun mnid can uendrsadnt waht is bneig wtrietn hree, but aoubt smoetnihg esle. Yes, at fsirt glcane you mghit tnhik taht its ipmiosslbe to eevn raed a sngile snetcene, but hree you are sltil raednig thugoh a ltilte solw tahn uausl. Raed auobt tihs phomnenoen yuorslef.
Tlaknig aoubt my son aiagn hree. Wehn I calp my hnads, he calps his hnads. Tihs is bsuceae he can intendfiy taht my hnads are the smae as his hnads as he can see btoh his hnads and mnie bineg sliamir. But how deos he idfienty taht he can shaek his haed wehn I shaek mnie? I maen, he cnat mkae a dciret cmorapiosn taht my haed is his haed, scine he cnat see his haed! How deos he konw taht wehn I oepn and cosle my muhot, he has the smae muhot taht he can oepn and csole?
It's aaminzg taht a clhid can konw taht smoetnhig ahntoer prseon has, he has as wlel, and eevn konw the lcaoiton thguoh he cnat see it. I gsues tehre are a lot of oehtr tnihgs a hmuan can do whit tiehr mnid taht no cmoptuer, eevn in the dtsnait frutue, can eevr cmoe cosle to dinog.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Dictate A Life
Would love to get some comments on today's post!! Be it from new parents, or anyone at all.
When should parents stop dictating the life of their children? As your children grow up, you are dictating what they should eat, what school they should go to, and so on and so on. The first freedom a child has is 'choice of friends' when they first enter Kindergarten, and then the 'choice of food' which they can buy from their canteen. However, parents still dictate the child when they're at home, what time to sleep, what time to study, limitations of tv and entertainment, checking of report cards, etc.
Now, from my casual observation, the first choice a child makes about their future comes at the end of Form 3, where they can choose several paths in Form 4 and Form 5. Some parents still choose for the child, while some give the freedom to the child. I'm the latter. Further on, after Form 5, the second big choice in life comes to a child about their future, which career path to dedicate their remaining academic teenage life to choose. Yes, some children have all the freedom, some are 'advised' by parents while other are purely forced to take a certain path. Sorry to say this, but quite a lot doctor parents force at least one of their children to trod the medical line. I'm happy enough that I'm the first, given the freedom to choose.
After studying, the third choice of life, what company/industry to work in? For lawyers, doctors and other professionals, it's a no brainer unless they don't like what they studied. For others, it's quite a huge choice out there. Accountants and business students can practically work in any industry, while engineers and tourism students has some limited scope, still, there are tons of areas to venture into. At this age, MOST parents do not dictate what their child should do. Of all the freedom that I've gotten since Form 3, my career path was the 'second' dictation, that is, I am 'advised' to work at a certain company/industry by my parents, well... a parent actually.
And then we work, and then the fourth choice in life comes in, choosing a mate, but that's another story. Back to the series of choices regarding careers, I have had 3 career changes in my life, and only one of them was on personal freedom, while the other two was 'advised'. In other families, parents don't give a hoot what and where their children work, as long as they work and be a responsible salary earning citizen. While in some other families, whereby the parents are running their own business, the children is forced to work under their industry to learn their trade. What's your thought on that?
My personal opinion, at least for now, for the betterment of my children's future, I can only teach and let them observe as much as they can before they are 15, before letting them free to choose what they want from life. Yes, I will need to guide them. Can't give too much freedom or else "Dad, I wanna work as robber lah, can get RM10 million overnight if don't get caught." Guiding them in their career path I think it's good, that is to show them the positive and negative sides of the industries they wanna go in, but still, it should stop before the "short list" stage. Let them short list what they want, and then let them decide what they want. We can only support, not dictate anymore. Still, as a human being, it's not going to be easy to be someone who have cared so much about your cute lovey dovey child that you stay up to kill mosquitos, to release them into the cruel world of decision makings... but that time will come, as it did your own parents, and your grandparents. It is the responsibility of a parent to support a child's decision, after you've filled him/her with the knowledge and wisdom he/she needs to grow up well.
Friday, June 16, 2006
The World Is Heavy
People in sales, marketing and promotions lie all the time! It's just too sick to notice that. Take me for example. When a potential client wants to rent an office in my building, I'll give them the price. When they negotiate a cheaper price, I'd normally need to take out my script, turn to the relevant page, and reads out "I will check with my landlord on your proposal and get back to you tomorrow". Kidding about the reading script part. Anyway, the reality is that I do not even talk to anyone. I just use TIME as a factor of negotiation, and the next day I will accept or reject their proposals according to what power I have as a negotiator, following landlord's guidelines.
One hotel called me up, saying "We have randomly selected employees from your company and you are one of the lucky ones who can sign up for our interesting package!" What a load of crap. This, in fact, was yesterday's phonecall. They asked me if I'm in Company A or B, and I said A and they said, "That's good, coz' eventhough company B is your subsidiary, we are not giving it to them." Little do they know I'm not in BOTH companies and have moved since 3 years back.
A belardy sheet real estate company (this is true story) has even advertised "From RM151,000 up for a 22x75 double storey house in Klang!". You know what?! That company has managed to convince the developer to totally reduce one house's price to RM151,000 as a bonus for the final buyer of the development, and it's right in front of TNB power station. The next lowest price is RM215,000. People who have gone there for that cheap price were taken aback at the use of lies. Well, it's not a lie, but you know what I mean.
Siluet 40, a product on that Kayla Beverly Hill... showing a cream that says "Lose 2-3 inches in just 40 minutes!" is another con job. Once you buy the product, you'll read the instructions as "Apply cream in your fat area for 40 minutes, once everyday for a month. Within the month, you should be able to see changes in your measurement, at least an inch." Yesss... Lose 2-3 inches in just 40 minutes of rubbing and applying, but result after 2 months.
Caveat Emptor a.k.a. Let The Buyers Beware is getting to be too dangerous in the world today. We need a subject in school now called "Legal Con Tricks". Insurance agents have the same problems as well. Those really bad ones do not lie, yes they don't, but they don't give the whole picture. They can say "You will be able to get cover from critical illness, medical, death and total disablement with this comprehensive package" but they fail to tell you that if you have claimed for critical illness, the package voids itself. Comprehensive package to cover all, but once used ANY, the policy voids.
And... many con job in this world, or let's say,... any agreements of transactions in this world nowadays happens AFTER giving the money. Seriously! Hotel people who promises tons of things will only give you the package and agreement after you pay, and if you have disputes over what they promised verbally, you cannot fight at all legally. Insurance policy comes AFTER you pay for the insurance. Buying a house requires you to put in 2% with just a receipt, and only later when you pay additional 8% you can sign the Sales and Purchase Agreement. If you want to pull out, a portion of that 2% will be taken away.
I think for adults, we really need to get back to the standard of reading an agreement first, then sign on the dotted lines, and then only pay up.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Going To The Doctor
1. Sharifah for Holiday Villa Resort Package - Polite
2. Sue for Melia Hotel Package - A bit pushy, but polite
3. Rozi for Orient Rewards (also holiday package) - Most annoying. 20 mins call, blab blab blab. Phone number 016-2753215. Salesman, please go bug her.
Another break from Amuk.
In Malaysia, there are some doctors who, while they are skilled in their work, have lost their ability to think logically. IQ rendah gitu. I am bringing up this issue because this is quite common in Malaysia, and the way to actually solve this issue is that, if ANYONE has to stay home because they're sick, another person who can drive must also be late to work, or take half-day leave. Doesn't this affect both the sick and the driver's work?
The issue: "I can only give you an MC
Not all clinics practise this, but there are some that do. They say if you come in the evening, they can only issue an MC for the following day. Now I'm thinking of my aunt-in-law. If she gets sick, not sick enough that she needs medical attention, but weak enough that she cannot focus if she drives, and ends up in bed for two days, there goes two days of pay because on the 2nd day evening she will get MC for the third day. I mean, sigh... can't believe some clinics really have problems thinking logically.
The doctors working in these clinics should get sick until evening when they're able to drive, and issue themselves MC only for the following day. Memang takde otak.
Monday, June 12, 2006
My Memory Of World Cup
Group Match
Croatia 2 Italy 1
Round of 16
South Korea 2 Italy 1
Sigh.... stupid one-man-striker team. That's like 4-5-1?!? See if this World Cup's Italian coach is any better with their 4-3-1-2.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Amuk (Part #2)
Encik Daud, a father of two children, an adult son of 22 and a teenage girl of 17 years was watching the "Top 20 Fifa Greatest World Cup Moments" with his wife and daughter when the doorbell to his apartment rang. From the peephole, he can see a pizza delivery guy. "Sigh... Pizza again. That boy never asks us what we want, instead always ordered straight away to his likings."
The moment he opened the door, he was pushed back. A trick! Three men came in, it seems that the pizza guy has also put on his mask. If only En Daud can remember how he looked like earlier, but he only remembered the pizza company cap. His son, who just came out from the kitchen after his dinner was not spared. Confronted by two knife wielding men and one gun-armed man, he followed their demands.
As they were being tied up with tapes over their mouth, two of the robbers looked cheekily at each other and looked back at his daughter. Fear! What are they planning to do!? The one with the gun ordered the one to ransack rooms while the other stand watch, while he himself pulled the girl into one room. Then there was a click indicating the door was locked. "They are going to rape my daughter!"
Anger! The ropes, though tied well behind his back, left some space for the wrist to breath. Muffled shouts heard! More anger! And at last berserk! The ropes cut into his flesh as he pulled at them. He can feel as it he's tearing his arms away from the wrist, but there's no pain. There's only vengeance! He can feel finger bones breaking, but he went on.
Free! He lunges at the one standing guard. The robber had absolutely no time to react, the only thing he felt was his hands being knocked and then two, no, three stabs into his chest. En Daud had no reaction, he didn't even realised he just took someone's life. His aim is now at the door. The other robber came out, saw what has happened, and fled for the main door.... and he escaped. En Daud threw himself at the door, but his subconscious defense mechanism didn't allow full strength without hurting himself with the knife to his body.
He threw the knife down. Again, screamed to the top of his lungs, and threw himself at the door again. The door gave way, it swung open, and then... gunshot! There was no pain, he looked about the room, saw his daughter's shredded clothes, saw the gun man kneeling near the bed. Berserk went up another degree. He jumped, and then another gun shot, and again there was no pain. Now the gun man is under him, and he used the only lethal weapon an unarmed person, the strongest muscle in his body. He bit hard, chewed hard on the gun man's face, cheeks, neck,... tore off some skin, he hears screaming, and yet he continued shredding at the skins with all the strength of a berserked man. Noticing his daughter's flower vase on the floor nearby, he grabbed it, smashed it against the face of the gun man, it didnt break. He continued hitting until all was quiet.
He picked himself up, looking down at his body to see where the bullet punctured. No blood, save the robbers. Not even a scratch, perhaps the robber in his panicked state aimed very badly. He looked at his daughter, now he sees blood. The first gun shot was straight into his daughter's head, the gun man was tearing at her clothes putting the gun to her head to stop her from fighting back, and when the door burst opened, the shock triggered the gun. En Daud slumped, cried, screamed, crawled to his daughter, held her close and cried.
Minutes later, his wife and son was freed from their binds.
Berserk saved his daugther from rape, but did not save her from death. In his own words, "I still say this is fated. It's better than she died than to live her life in emotional torment. My wife thinks otherwise, that is better to still have her around than not having her at all anymore. What is done is done, the berserk was a natural reaction to fear and anger, to someone we love."
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Amuk (Part #1)
Amuk, by personal explanation, is a state of being whereby there is no right or wrong. There is only actions. There is no cause or effect or consequences, there is only now. Amuk has only one aim, and that is to "desperately alter or change the current situation one is in, either by destruction or fleeing". I have had been in twice the former (destruction) and once the latter (fleeing). The consequences, once realised, is very regrettable. We're not indulging my experiences here, let's take a look at similar amuk cases in the newspaper lately.
I still very much believe in that Star Wars words "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering." Most of the newspaper cases show amuk that are stirred purely by fear. An example is the man fearing ah longs coming after him that he asks his wife for money and when refused, he stabbed her. Some have to commits crime that brings them to jail so that ah longs don't go to jail to find them.
To those who have never been in an amuk state of mind, my best advise is that when things start to get out of hand, especially due to fear or anger, and cannot be changed by you, flee. Your sanity and the non-existence of a dire consequence is far better than entering amuk state whereby you will never ever know what you're capable of. As mentioned, it is a state of 'action' and 'now'.
If you have ever been VERY nervous for an interview or to perform on stage, and when you finally start doing it, you really feel as if you're not there. Someone else has taken over your body and it's like you're looking at yourself talking in the interview or performing. Same goes for amuk. You see yourself, but you cannot stop yourself, because you don't want to stop yourself. The mind has entered a state of total serenity, relaxed and calm during that period. It has started an auto-destruct sequence and just decides to lay loose and watch what happens. It's a "Let what happens, happens". Not a care in the world.
Tomorrow's post is a further dive into "Fear leading to anger".
Home and Workplace
- They're happy and gonna continue working for the same company for the next 15 years.
- They know they will not get retrenched.
- They know that the company will not go bankrupt.
- They know that the company will not suddenly wish to relocate somewhere else.
Besides the collective reasons above, buying a home nearby a workplace is a very unhealthy practise. It's putting priority on the workplace, and then buying a home to accommodate that priority. Gold Medal - Workplace, Silver Medal - Home.
I believe that when one chooses to buy a home, they should consider the neighbourhood (and of course financial health) and the factor of workplace should not even be in mind at all. Look at it this way. At 6pm, I drive from my workplace in KL to my home in KL and it takes me 30 minutes due to the traffic jam. In the morning it's only 10 minutes to work. That same time gets me from Puchong to Damansara which is a lot further from KL to KL. So, realistically, no matter where you live, there will be traffic jams, so choosing a house should not factor in workplace at all.
On the other hand, for those who do not have high ambitions to work only in specific company, it IS healthy to find a job nearby where you stay. That way, your home is number one, and workplace number two. Nicer equation. Still, lots of those real estate slogans "Why rent when you can buy?" pushes people to buy a home near their workplace, rather than rent first, and then decide when to buy a home when they do need or meet one. I think renting is totally fine, as long as it's not too expensive. If you're from KL, and you work in Johor, and you still wish to retire in KL, it's better to rent something cheap in Johor and then come back to KL to buy a home. What if you already bought a home in Johor and ended up quitting in 10 years? You still have 20 years to go to pay for the home. Okay, one thing good is the appreciation of that home, whereby you can sell for a higher price. There is a risk of non-buyer, guaranteed. If there's always a buyer, the daily classifieds will be only 2 pages big, and not 10-20 pages as it is today.
Seriously, neighbourhood is the main factor to choose a home, not the workplace.
Monday, May 29, 2006
MSN Webcam
No, kidding. Anyway, I know she does come online at this certain time, only today I just decided to buzz a 'hi'. So she was asking about my family and stuff, talking about careers and stuff when I noticed someone walked behind her heading into a room. So I said "Hey, I just saw your housemate back there. He comes back so late?!". She turned around, and then she looked back at her keyboard and wrote "Haha... good one. I'm renting this apartment alone lah. I'm all by myself." So, in order not to scare her further, I stopped talking about what I saw and just said "Hahaha... thought I could get you there."
So I probed further, "You don't have a boyfriend at all staying at your place or something?" and she said "No, I'm not like that at all. I meet them all outside. Only me and myself have the keys to my apartment. Stop trying to scare me!" and she stood up, went to the other room, went to the kitchen, the front door and just as she was coming back to the computer, the same guy walked passed her on her right. She got back to the computer and said "I locked everything tightly, no one here."
So,....what do you do if you are in my position, and you keep seeing him for at least another two times walking behind your friend, as if he's just going about his own chores in that house and even once looked into the monitor from her left shoulder and left to go back into that room. Would you think she's lying, or is she living with something she doesn't know exist? I hope I don't see such things like I mentioned here on her webcam.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Lifestyle Living
In my opinion, Lifestyle Living is fueled by two sources, commercialism and pride. I will just create a story, non-biased or stereotyped; the settings is purely for purpose of the story. I have all the respect for kampung and urban folks.
My name is Ali. I've been in KL for 2 years already and my net worth is currently about -RM20k. Yes, I'm in debt of RM20,000. I'll start at the beginning.
I worked as a sales executive in a small town, but living some 10km away into the heart of my kampung. I went to work on my father's old motorcycle. My family is very simple. We do not buy magazines monthly, only when there's some interesting stories to be read. My mum, who's a housewife cooks a lot in the morning, be it meehoon or nasi lemak and then at lunch, she'll just add another dish, be it chicken or fish to be eaten with the left over morning breakfast. Since I stayed just nearby my home, I went home to eat my lunch.
For dinner, it's a feast! Rice, vegetable dish, fish and cold syrup, or orange, or lychee for drinks. We ate together right after dusk prayers. In all, I earned about RM800 on a fixed salary, and I only spent about RM300 per month, inclusive of my prepaid phonebills and my phone was a cast-off from my sister who I payed RM200 on a 4 months installment. Every evening, I played soccer with the kampung kids.
Then a miracle happened. My performance in the company is so good that they have decided to give me a raise and send me to KL, to work in a bigger branch. They believed that I will bring more benefit to the company in KL. So, I told my parents of my increment to RM1,800 but still a sales executive, but this time I'll be working in KL. My parents were so proud we had a kenduri kesyukuran where we invited the whole kampung.
When I first stepped in KL, I was elated! Big buildings, people always walking about rushing to something important. It felt so lively, so professional. I rented a small room in a 2nd floor 3-bedroom apartment unit at RM200 per month. It was okay, walking up and down 2 flights of stairs was no biggie. Then I started work.
On the first day, my manager took me around, introduced me around and even took me out to lunch. At lunch he explained how life is to be in KL. Firstly, he said, "You need to get a car." I have always thought of getting a car, so I said "Ok, not a problem. I think I should be able to afford a Kancil with my new increased salary." "A Kancil?! My boy, you're doing sales, people will look at you, and do you think they'll trust in a product that the sales executive tries to sell driving a Kancil?! I suggest a Proton Wira or above, but Wira suits you enough, as a well-to-do young sales exec." The next few weeks, I got some monetary help from my dad and got myself a 2nd hand Proton Wira at RM40,000. My loan is RM30,000, and I am paying RM520 monthly for 7 years.
One morning, my colleagues told me there was a rip on my shirt. I said "Oh, I didn't realise, I guess the shirts getting old. Will buy some new ones next week." "Where do you buy your shirts, all can't tahan long one?" "Pasar malam nearby my apartment, more expensive than those I can get at 'bundle' shop back in my hometown." There was silence, a smirk and as they're walking away, the start to laugh amongst themselves. I got angry, called them back and ask them what's wrong. They said "How cheap can you be?! Buy at pasar malam for business suits?! We all buy from departmental stores, they last longer." I said "I know, but pasar malam is about RM15 can last 9-12 months but department shirts are like RM79 and last about two years." "It's about brand, friend. They see you wear Durban, Crocodile, they know you have taste, and you're successful." And so that day begins me conversion from pasar malam clothes to departmental clothes.
Then it began. Social lifestyle, meeting of clients and clients asking me why I'm not up to date on phones. Friends started to invite me to their homes to relax and play console games. They say "Renting at RM300++ is very logical for execs like us" coz' of better environment, security and pride. Meeting of friends,... either it be at mamak at nights, or restaurants at lunch. "Mamak is for night times, not lunch! Let's go Secret Recipe instead." My first week whereby I packed lunch at RM3.20 and drink water in the office is now a RM8 to RM12 daily. My phone now has a 3G, cost me RM2,400 but hey, it was on a 12 months installment with 0% interest!
However, I'm successful. In the past 2 years, my performance was very good that now I'm earning RM3,500 per month. Next week I'll start paying for my new apartment. At first I wanted to settle for something below RM150,000, but my friends said "Hey, why so cheapskate. That one for low to middle income lah!" So, my apartment is RM320,000 and I'm going to pay RM1920 per month for the next 30 years. I'm also on 0% installment for my new LCD TV and my stereo systems ending in the next 6 months. My two credit cards has reached about RM6,000 in debts each, so I'm sourcing for another one very soon.
Just last week, a friend who owed me money since kampung time met up with me, to pay me up. I lent him about RM1000 for his studies, and now he's in KL as well, working as a financial advisor. He told me he'll do a free check up on my financial health since I helped him a lot!
Then he showed me something I've never thought I'd see, and right before he showed it to me, he said "Friend, you're spending more than you can earn. A lot of people do that. As they earn more, they spend more. It's a 'reward' thing. They think 'Hey, I got a raise, therefore my reward is a better lifestyle.' They don't realise that the 'reward' is actually their doom. It's a drug, to have these rewards. You just can't have enough of them. They will start changing handphones yearly, buy bigger things, expensive tastes, and so forth. And they'll never get out of debt."
He showed me my assets. My RM320k apartment which is now RM335k in market. But in the past two years I've paid RM1920 monthly (RM46080 in two years) only to service an interest of RM39,993 and only paid about RM6063 in loan debts. I'm still owing RM281937 after two years! Just the house and car alone is RM2440 out of my salary of RM3500 per month, and that has not included my other 0% installments.
He advised me to live within my means, change the car and the house, get a more modest ones, but I cannot. Pride has taken over. I know I live above my means, and that's the way it's going to be. No way will I downgrade myself. All I need to do is just work better and get better increment. This is my life now.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Senses
Basically we have the usual Five senses; touch, taste, sight, hearing and smell. Babies at age of 4 are already using these senses to the max. However, we're not going to talk babies here. Let's talk about how commercialism market products through senses.
A wine taster will usually have the wine poured in some artistic manner, using sight. Anyway, then they pick up the glass, swirl the wine around, a sense of touch there of the water moving, then a smell and lastly a sip, for taste. No sound however, unless you wanna consider the sound of the wine bottle hitting the glass during pouring.
Another product which seriously market nearly all the senses is Coke. Watch any ad. Stimulation of the sight looking at drink flowing between ice in the cup, the hearing of the fizzy sound, the touch of the cold glass and finally the taste of Coke. No smell here though, coz' I don't find anything interesting about the smell of Coke. That's why Coke (or Pepsi) do very well though it's just coloured drink with gas and sugar and some taste-product.
Cigarettes, smell yup, sight yup, taste yup, touch... err.. not really and no to hearing, unless you can hear smoke. Pringles, the priority of marketing is the hearing "krup krup krup" and then the rest. Handphones, competitors are purely marketing on the looks (after customers already compared the specs), no smell there unless your sweaty friend has just used the phone.
Basically, at least one sense is made a priority in marketing of any products or services. What do you see when people buy shoes or badminton racket? The first is actually the sight, and then the touch. Imagine if a kid buys a badminton racket saying "I like the smell of this one!". Whatever it is, majority of products, thanks to media, are promoting products firstly on the sight, followed by others. Radio tries to project the image of the product, say Coke, by the sound of the first fizz when you open the Coke can, then the sound of glup glup glup, and then that duh "ahhhhh...." sound. Aromatherapy markets using the sense of smell.
Which product then, actually prioritise the sense of touch or taste FIRST? I don't think there's any. Surely it's the sight, the hearing or the smell of a product is the first stimulation for interest. To close a deal by taste yes, "Abang, jangan beli lagi, rasa dulu." You will never face anyone saying "Tutup mata dulu, rasa ni, lepas tu decide." Ya right, would you trust a stranger putting something into your mouth?
Seriously, what product prioritise touch or taste? Massages? I hardly think so.
Monday, May 15, 2006
What Have I Done?!
Dear Mr Javalier,
I'm writing this just to get things off my chest. I have a loving husband, and three children. The older two are boys, aged 7 and 5 and the youngest a girl, aged 4. Ever since my eldest was born, people have been asking us why he don't look like any of us, to which I always say that one day he will. All babies look alike.
Then when my second child came, there's always a comparison, especially amongst my relatives stating the differences in the two boys. Worst yet, when my daughter came, everyone started to talk behind us, some saying that I must have done 'something' before I got married to my husband. I'm happy that my husband understand the predicament.
Two months ago, I had a birthday party for my second child. The party went terribly wrong! Most of my friends who have not seen my first child kept going to this boy, asking him how old his brother (who is actually my second child) is today. When he told them they had the wrong person and pointed to my eldest, they showed a shock in their faces.
To make the story short, these shocked faces pushed my husband and I to approach the parents of the boy. Our hearts were beating so fast when we were told of his birthday, which is the same as our eldest. They are also facing the same problem with their relatives who are asking about their son. As scared and shocked as we were, we decided to go for a DNA test, just to prove things wrong; but as expected, our two boys were switched at birth!
After careful discussions, the other family gave us an option, as they cannot make their decision. To switch back to our real sons, or to remain as it is. And that dilemma has greater roots than a simple switch. I have raised my eldest son, for the past 7 years, in a loving family, in religion and in culture. I cannot for the life of me allow this boy, who looks at me as his mother, go back to his real family, to live in their life, their culture and their religion.
At the same time, I cannot for the life of me, to allow my own blood, to remain where he is, especially to be of different religion. How can I answer to God for that? Own life-blood flowing in him, to allow him that way.
Two weeks ago we made our decision. It was heart-breaking. I let my son go, who I've raised for 7 years. He was crying, shouting in fact, and all I could do is to hug him and tell him to be good to his real family, and to always pray. God will watch over him and lead him to a proper life. My other siblings are angry with us, though we've explained to them over and over again that he's their real brother. And our son, real son now, is not talking to us at all. He doesn't understand our culture and our religion, or even our family love. And we cannot force that on him, we can only let time allows for his love for us to grow, only then can we educate him on our culture and religion.
I still keep the photo of my eldest son, I mean, the boy who grew up with us for 7 years. At times I wished I never made that birthday party. But it was destined that I meet my real son again... but, now I've actually 'sacrificed' the life of a boy who calls me mum, who wants to be with our family, who wants to be no part of his real family. I know it's the same for my real son, but I believe that 'blood' is more important, and I hope this is the correct choice in God's view.
My son, or my ex-son has contacted me several times, but whenever he calls I have to hang up the phone on him, as was our agreement by both parents, to allow things to settle for at least 3 years. I hope what I did is right. God, I really hope my decision is correct.
Devastated Mother.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
MLM - Revisited
So why revisit?! A few things are driving me to revisit MLM. Firstly, I acknowledge that this is a business whereby after being hard-working say about 1-2 years, you can basically sit back and relax and money comes in. It goes the same with mamak restaurants (I know one who plays golf daily while his workers get him RM20,000 per month from the restaurant). There are only a few businesses that allows the owner to relax and earn.
So what really drives me to revisit?! What's the difference between 1998 and 2006?! In 1998, I'm a student who has money given by parents, therefore the value of money has not hit me. In 1998, I'm a student who has quite a lot of time freedom who can play games as much as I want. In 1998, I only spend about RM200 per month. In 1998, I CANNOT afford the first few months of cost that I need to take out to survive the MLM business.
Lately, a few friends are slowly getting involved in MLM, even QueenBee. It seems interesting to revisit. And so I did. There are many out there. There are some that sells ONE product, but their business comes from the constant selling of the 'fuel' to that product. This one is really not for me. There are some that has 20 products, all health related, but it does not go well with those not health-conscious people. The one I joined, I find it rather stupid, because I need to meet a quota per month to spend on, and with their product like a shampoo saying "you just need to use 20 cent size to shampoo your hair". Hello, that takes 3 years to finish a bottle and I have to buy products I don't need monthly just to meet a quota, or else I don't get commission?!
I'm happy to note that today MLM has slowly moved up from the sleazy "Hahah, you have to buy product and stock up your house with useless things!!" to a "You give us brand loyalty, we give you a business." Seems ok now, as long as the brand is really in quality. But still, the 'selling point' of skipping distributors, retailers and such is bullsh*t. It costs a lot more than what you can find in carrefour for the same product type. Of course I cannot mention the quality lah, some of these MLM products are really high in quality, but do you want to use a handsoap that cleans your hand off oil, or a handsoap that cleans your hand off oil, moisturise it, remove wrinkles, shines the fingernails, takes care of discoloured skin, etc?!?
Anyway, I have chosen a MLM to join, not out of desperation or out of choice. I do not need this, nor do I choose to have this. It's not an act of desperation, not an act of emotional motivation. It's because I'm driven for a long term goal. Why am I paying RM400 to someone who have the joy to spend time with my child(ren)?! Shouldn't that joy be mine and my wife's right? My long term goal (or I would say my Conservative Goal) is to have my wife be unemployed but earning within 3 years and I do the same within 5 years. My expected goal is 1 1/2 and 3 years respectively. Good luck to me, and good luck to you too who are new or even those who are revisiting this line of Financial Freedom.
My choice of MLM, is due to several factors. The team on top of me, up to 5 lines above are very encouraging and even invites every downliner to makan-makan. The system is very stable, and I believe it's the same for every MLM there, whereby it's no more "You must sell!!" or "You must reach quota!!" but more to "You just use our product, in replacement to ones you are using, and your downlines do the same, and the company pays you for product loyalty." Even if you don't reach the quota, there's no penalty. Thirdly, there are 200 products, and even some big companies who are partnering with this specific MLM company, therefore, if I buy a Canon Printer, I'll get something back, on top of the discount I will already get being a member.
So that's it. I will stick to my personal opinions on ethics to NOT coax anyone to join the bandwagon, but again, next time someone might just come and say "Bloody h*ll, you didn't even share with me about this!", so to avoid that, here I am giving an open invitation to anyone who wishes to know more about owning a business whereby you don't need to sell, but just need to use it as you would your normal monthly products (ie detergent, supplements, food, etc).
I will update on a quarterly basis coz' it's a norm that quite a lot of people get themselves into MLM and 90% quits. Let's see if my drive will allow me to quit.
Oh, lastly, there is a business that will begin (as my posts on entrepreneurship last time) within 2 months time. This is not MLM, this is really an entrepreneurship tryout for me, and my wife.
Monday, May 08, 2006
What is Savings for?!
Anyway, one day in the future, we can manage the debt very well and we even have RM10,000 in Savings. And then we continue working, and then we have RM20,000 in the bank. Still we continue working, and then we have RM50,000 in the bank. And we continue working and then we even reached RM100,000 in the bank.
The question is this. At what amount of savings will you really quit your job and start up your own cash machine (ie business, investment, etc)?? Will you really end up quitting your job and risk using RM50k for a business, or would you still continue working where you are even if you have RM200k in the bank, of course placed in various 'investment vehicles'?
At what amount of money that you own that's easily liquidable (ie bonds, stocks, unit trusts) will you actually dare to tell your boss bye bye, and then leave for riskier but brighter future? Or will fear grip you, hold you and tell you to just let the money build up, continue working forever?? Because should you lose that 50k in a 1 year business, and then heads back to employment, they might not pay you as much as you have been paid.
Seriously, savings for investment should have its limit, and then it should be savings for a better life. What's your savings limit to get you out of your job?
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Sincere Rejection of Offer
I now know the MOST EFFECTIVE way to reject those hotels offer that I've been getting a lot lately, and it all happened when I sincere request for more information, whereby the telesales person themselves say "Oh, never mind then." Hehe... this was what happened.
I got a call from Lonusbink (u know the real name lah) the other day, they're introducing a personal insurance cover for Lonusbink customers. Though not free, it seems to be a very low premium and I *was* interested to know more. Anyway, what's with these companies all starting to introduce insurance in their membership?!? Yaja Cusjo also intro-ed insurance. A few other companies also doing the same. I'm waiting for my favourite mamak shop to intro a health insurance so that if kena food poisoning from their food, can get compensation.
Back to topic, I actually requested that they send the proposed insurance cover via fax so that I can read and then agree. I mean, this is money, what happened if they say they cover up to RM100,000 but in the end you get a policy stating coverage of RM10,000. And then the reply that I never expected to hear came "Sorry sir, we don't do that. bla bla bla." In short, the phone conversation was as follows (not direct quote lah, how to remember word for word what was being mentioned).
Me: Can you just fax the proposed insurance coverage to me so that I can read it first?
Telemarketer: Sorry sir, we don't do that. We only conduct transactions via phone.
Me: Oh!
Telemarketer: It has been our business like this, sir.
Me: Sorry, I've been involved in a lot of legal cases lately
Telemarketer: Sorry to hear that, sir. We really don't fax anything to customers. Anyway, have a nice day.
Duh! And so happens that the very next day, Bayview Beach Resort Penang called me for the THIRD time each time different telemarketer and another hotel calling me for the second time, and I said....
Me: That's an interesting package. Can you please fax the package information over to me, and also include that you are giving me those "bonus" that only for me that you mentioned. I just want to make sure the "bonus" is not already part of the package to begin with coz' I'll be checking with my friends who have taken your package.
Telemarketer: Err... err... actually the bonus was just introduced! I can fax you the information list of the package, or I can email you.
Me: Well, just a cover letter with your company name stating that you'd like to introduce the package, along with the pricing and information, signed by your sales manager.
Telemarketer: We can only send the package list, we don't usually send a cover letter. Anyway, our sales manager is on leave today.
Me: No problem then, when your sales manager come back, just tell him or her that I need a cover letter with your proposed package. Can ah?
Telemarketer: It's ok sir, we really don't fax over these things. Do you have any friends who you'd like to introduce the package? (She knows she can't persuade me, not trying my friends?!)
Me: Well, if you can give me the letter, then I can help introduce for you.
Telemarketer: No no, I'll need to call them in person.
Me: In that case, you send me the cover letter and the package information first, then I'll give the numbers to you.
Telemarketer: Alright sir, nevermind. Thank you. Have a nice day.
I played too much with that phonecall from Penang. Ya lah, three times cuba to get me to purchase the package. The other hotel telemarketer, I was more straight forward.
Telemarketer: Bla bla hotel, bla bla good price, bla bla you won't regret, bla bla you can also lay me, bla bla as long as I get sales, bla bla. (kidding about the last two part. :P)
Telemarketer: Sorry sir, we only do phone call transaction.
Me: I insist on seeing black and white from your company with an authorized signature. Can you do that?
Telemarketer: We can't sir.
Me: That's okay then, I'm not interested.
Telemarketer: Ok, have a nice day sir.
So, now, for the benefit of customer's safety against false promises, I suggest all of you to ask for a black & white fax of the proposal. In case these hotels finally get their wits to use faxes, you still have the rights to turn down, ALSO in black & white. :D Bagi nampak sikit that you are seriously turning down the offer.