I'm not too well today, with bad sorethroat and hot/cold feeling over my body. Something like the symptom of fever, but however, as evil as I sound now, I cannot help but feel so much better receiving an amusing phonecall from a hotel membership sales representative.
His first words were something like "Hello, Mr Java, I'm calling from Park Royal Hotel and I want to introduce you to our membership priviledges. Park Royal Hotel is located at the Heart of KL." Straight away I knew he was practically READING OFF THE TEXT! As aloof as I am to say this, I really believe that no one should sell by reading text. Fine, I understand very new sales people need to have guidance, but I really think they need to just use the keywords, and make the sentences themselves, rather than reading and accidentally reading wrongly and correcting what they read. Anyway, seeing that he's a text-reading guy, and I was not interested in the membership, I swayed the conversation out of his text and see how he does without reading the text. Man, this paragraph sux, my england teruk.
The following is a copy of conversation I had with him as I was able to type out what he's saying, but it just came a bit late in the conversation. Practically, this is after I asked him to explain a bit on the dining priviledge. The italics in bracket is my own comment in my head. If you're bored, you can just skip to the last two bits of conversation which had me laughing my head off.
Salesman: Ok, Mr Java. If you don't mind me asking. Are you married or have a partner?
Salesman: Oh married. Ok. So just say you and your wife is dining. And the bill is RM200. That's ok right?
Me: No, that's not ok. We normally maintain outside dining up to RM30 only.
Salesman: Up to 30 ringgit?? Okay, at the end of the meal, your total food bill will be reduced to 50%, it will be RM100. That sounds fantastic, doesn't it? Ya, for only RM388. For a 12 months membership. One more is that you can dine out as often as you like next year. So there's no limit how much you can spend. (Wah lan... this guy really encourage people to spend spend spend)
Me: No, it doesn't sound fantastic. I have other financial obligations, of course I won't go spending on dining the whole year.
Salesman: Just say your wife go to buffet dinner and let's say RM50 per person. If you're our club member, you just need to pay RM50. So if you dine 100 times a year, so you'll save RM5000. (Woo hoo... optimism at the max! It's like asking people to buy McD value meal everyday and save up to RM10000 per year!) So, how would you like your name to appear on your membership card, sir? Are you using Visa or Master? (This is the stupid push factor I hate in all salesman)
Me: Look. I only spend at max RM30 for my family, and at RM388 just to enjoy 50% dining is ridiculous.
Salesman: Oh I see, apart from dining benefit, as a member you will also receive 50% reduction or a 5% off promotional rate. Mr Java, don't you that represent excellent benefit? (Suddenly his english perfect again. And I like how he's going. Slowly push additional benefit one by one which is in fact already part of the package.)
Me: I'm already staying in KL. I don't think I need a hotel to stay in KL.
Salesman: We are extremely excited to bring you opportunity to this benefit. (Ha?!) You take leave or valentines, or on birthday can come stay for a romantic night. Or you can give the voucher to other people, and Park Royal is located in heart of KL. So the location is very nice. (Serioucly this guy need to do his sales pitch homework properly. If want me to give voucher to other people, ask other people to buy lah!) Or you can eact with your friend. Mr Java, where do you normally eat with your friend?
Me: Mamak lah.
Salesman: Mamak?! But don't you think dining in restaurant, you know, the status is different.
Me: Ya, but you can't laugh or shout or talk loudly and just be yourself.
Salesman: Ya, but the bill you pay is almost the same, coz' for two people you get 50% discount.
I stopped typing the conversation there coz' trying hard to tahan from laughing. The bill you pay is almost the same eating in hotel and mamak?!? Even at 50% discount?!? Damn, he must really be joking. Or he himself was trying to contain from laughing. As crazy as I have eaten at mamak last time, eating yong tau fu for starters, chicken chop for meal and satay to finish it off, with 2 fruit drinks, that'll bring the bill to about RM18 only. Two people eat is RM36. Hotel starts at RM50 (salesman say), and he forgot to include the service charge 10% and tax 5%, bringing to a total of RM57.50.
Really am tired of facing these new sales people who don't do homework.