Thursday, August 04, 2005

Lottery Emails

In the news today, someone was duped into giving away some money in order to pay for the transfer of a lottery winnings amounting to some millions ringgit to be sent to the lottery winner. To get RM2.6 million, the 'winner' need to send about RM6,000 for courier cost. Why not just tell the lottery to keep 100,000 ringgit and use that to courier and win RM2.5 million instead?!

Anyway, it's a con job, for them just to get your money and run away with it. Poor victim has to pay up the loan sharks an axorbant amount of money back. While these emails are old, why are people still falling for it? It's coz' internet user numbers grow everyday, and therefore there's also some new innocent user who will just be fooled.

Dear sir, I am the grandson of some rich uncle of some awkward named country. My uncle has died and has left me USD3billion. I cannot transfer the money so I need your help. I will give you half of the USD3billion if you can help transfer a fixed amount of money first to my personal account. <-- Very Commonly Seen. I guess the law of that country is so screwed up that wills can only be processed with outside interference.

It real life, we do receive some kind of coupon to scratch, and upon scratching, we find that we win the TOP PRIZE of electrical products, bla bla. Each and every freaking coupon will make you win the TOP PRIZE. It's coz' to get that electrical product, you need to buy another electrical product. So it goes like this,.... You win a washing machine, television, fridge and vibrator! Congratulations! Please buy just ONE product from our list of products, present the coupon and get your winning prizes. .

Just buy one of these, and win your TOP PRIZE: -
Rice Cooker - RM25,000
Mosquito Killer - RM25,000
Desk Light - RM25,000
Pistol - RM50,000
Nuclear Warhead - RM1,000,000

What a crap of cow dung (nicer word for bullshit). How is it possible for companies to resort to this kind of advertising just to get money?! It's like having KFC saying, buy Zinger burger for RM20 and get one piece chicken absolutely free. No moving cost. No stamp duty. No hidden fee. Might as well say "Get a Proton Gen-2 absolutely free, with a minimum purchase of RM75,000" or "Write a slogan and win a bungalow! With just an initial investment of RM1.5million for the contest form." Get it today! :D

I'd rather face horrible Tora advertisement than seeing purely stupid marketing strategies that lead customers astray. At least that dude with the big eyes, fake smile and damn cool acting playing with toys in Tora adverts are not cheating the customers. Well, they do, especially with the toys moving on its own. But well, at least you don't waste so much money if you really do fall for the toy-moving-on-its-own ploy. Actually it didn't move on its own. Ah-Kim pushed it. "Tora datang lagi, dengan mainan pengorek telinga. Lihat adik-adik. Lihat adik ini korek telinganya. Wahhh... alangkah bersihnya telinga adik ini. Adik juga boleh korekkan telinga kawan adik. Mari adik-adik, sama-sama kita korek telinga kawan-kawan. Wahh.. hebat. Dapatkan hari ini, mainan korek telinga! Tora!"

Amidst all these marketing ploy, there's one area where you can win in law. Should you see those signs "Once broken, considered sold" and you really would love the product, go break it! Serious! Go break it, coz' once you break it, it's considered sold. Sold, as a past tense for sell, means that the item has completed its transaction of changing owner. In other words, once broken, it's considered sold, and therefore does not belong to the shop anymore. Congratulations, go ahead and get all the items you want! They're free! See, I do show my good side by giving you tips on how to purchase items for no payment.

What's this gotta do with lottery emails?! Should you receive that lottery email stating that you win, write back to them and say "I haven't die yet, you bloody nephew of mine! How dare you tell people that I've died! For that, I will change my will. You will not get a cent from me anymore!"

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